Hinds' Feet on High Places (Giveaway)...And Some Precious God-Whispers of Truth

CONTEST CLOSED: WINNERS TO BE ANNOUNCED SOON!

Many of you have probably heard of the classic, Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard. Dinah always wanted me to read it. We would chat for hours about the spiritual lessons that God was teaching us and the mysterious ways that he would weave His truth and grace into the tapestry of our lives.

When I talked of the ways that God brings beauty from suffering and restoration out of brokenness, strength from weakness, and grace that is always sufficient...as I walked through grief and pain and found sweet healing, Dinah would say: "You really need to read Hinds' Feet on High Places".

Dinah went home to heaven this past February, and a month or two or three (I'm not really good with time these days) later, when I was in the thick of "the missing", my friend Joyce handed me the book. (Joyce is also one of our faithful, hard-working Comfort Bear ladies.) O.K....o.k., I conceded. Obviously this is a book God wanted me to read! I could just picture Dinah nudging the Lord..."Tell Joyce to have Kelly read this book...she really needs to read it." Now I'm not sure if that's how it works in heaven, but down here on Earth, Dinah's constant suggestions and persistence were quite effective. I wouldn't put it past her, that's for sure.

Anyway, I started to read the book, and sat astounded at the parallels in my Christian walk as I related to little Much-Afraid with all of her flaws and weaknesses as she struggled to resist her Fearful relatives. Some of the truths that spoke to my heart in this book are the very truths God has revealed to me over the years, as I walked my own path toward the high places, resisting the tools of The Enemy, desperate to know the kind of love that never leaves, embarking on the journey holding the Shepherd's hand, learning about acceptance with joy in my own desolate Valley of Loss, embracing the surrender that comes from having Sorrow and Suffering (who later became Peace and Joy) as companions, realizing that such journeys lead to the transformation from Much-Afraid to Grace and Glory.

All of the truths I have clung to and battled deception with...the very truths I have claimed as my own...truths that defined my walk over the past seventeen years of clinging to God... painted in word pictures by a woman years ago. Even the place I am in now of learning about the love that lays it all down...it's in there. I thought how silly to think that it is just my walk she is describing, even as the words resonated with my inner core. This is the walk for all who choose to follow Him. Our paths may not look exactly the same, but the truths...the lessons...are all the same. This is one of the most beautiful and perfect descriptions I have read of the ways God works in our lives. Of course, I'm sure it only scratches the surface of His deep mysterious ways.

I just want to share an excerpt that depicts the essence of the lessons that God has taught and is teaching me. I have spoken of this same truth over the course of my life, but never as eloquently or perfectly as the author shares in this incredible book:

"First," said she, "I learnt that I must accept with joy all that You allowed to happen to me on the way and everything to which the path led me! That I was never to try to evade it but to accept it and lay down my own will on the altar and say, "Behold me I am Thy handmaiden Acceptance-with-Joy."


"Then I learnt that I must bear all that others were allowed to do against me and to forgive with no trace of bitterness and to say to Thee, 'Behold me - I am Thy little handmaiden Bearing-with-Love', that I may receive  power to bring good out of this evil."


"The third thing that I learnt was that You, my Lord, never regarded me as I actually was, lame and weak and crooked and cowardly. You saw me as I would be when you brought me to the High Places, when it could be truly said, 'There is none that walks with such queenly ease, nor with such grace, as she.'
..."My Lord, I cannot tell You how greatly I want to regard others in the same way."

O.K....I just have to interrupt Much-Afraid's commentary for a moment and say...Do you realize that is the very essence of what God wants for us...to love others and see others as He does? He doesn't want us to look on them the way they are...but the way they will be when they are made perfect one day in heaven's glory, without the muck and sin in this world. Oh Lord, put that love into our hearts. O.K....back to Much-Afraid and what she learned. (Even though the author likes to say "learnt", which I must admit pains me to type.)

"The fourth thing," said she with a radiant face, "was really the first I learnt up here. Every circumstance in life, no matter how crooked and distorted and ugly it appears to be, if it is reacted to in love and forgiveness and obedience to Your will can be transformed...."


It may seem like I gave the most precious nuggets of this book away, but believe me when I say that you must take the entire journey of reading this book to fully grasp it's meaning...to fully experience the truth God is whispering about this journey.

For this is the story of every Christian's journey...the one we are meant to walk. The love God pours into our lives is meant to overflow into the lives of those around us. And, everything we experience has a purpose in leading us to being the person He created us to be.

Thank you, Dinah and thank you Joyce for sharing this book with me. I'm sure I should have read it years ago, but I was busy living it. I have ordered a few copies to share with others, because it really is a precious picture of the way God works in our hearts to transform us. Truly one of the best books I've ever read...and that's saying a lot!

So, of course, I want to give a few copies of this treasure away on this post. Just leave a comment to enter.


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In other news...for those praying for Tug, there is a VERY important update at the bottom of this post....click over and join us in rejoicing for all God is doing. And, please keep praying as the journey isn't over!! Thank you so much!

New Walking With You...Helping my Monkey...and a Wild Olive T-shirt Giveaway!

For the first time since February, there is a new Walking With You post up. Could you please do me a huge favor...if there's anyone out there anymore? I shared about a mother walking the path many of us have walked. Her name is Katie, and her baby girl, Evangeline Joy has been diagnosed with Potters Syndrome. She is in her final trimester, and prayerfully awaiting the arrival of her precious baby girl. She just started a blog, and I would love to flood her with encouragement, so that she knows she does not walk this path alone. Will you please join me. Stop by her blog and leave a comment of love and encouragement. Let this mama know that we are praying for her and her family...that they are not walking alone. That's why we started WWY in the first place. I hope you will take a minute to do this. It would mean so much to this grieving mother's heart.


In other mamas-we-can-help news, my monkey Mattie shared about a way you can get a gorgeous Wild Olive T-shirt AND help sweet Mattie raise the funding needed to adopt their baby. Mattie is the mother to Ethan and to two children in heaven: Shyla and Jakin. She is a beautiful mother inside and out...a mom I've had the privilege to meet and hug in person. Click here to read how you can get a Wild Olive Tee Shirt and help my Mattie-girl.

And....
Because I love Mattie, I love grace, I love the verse on this T-shirt, I love Wild Olive, and I love you....


                            (back of shirt)







We're giving away two shirts from the adoption fundraiser on this post!! One sized medium and one large.

There are several ways you can enter to win:
(Please leave a separate comment for each one you do. Please also specify the size you want. Choices are medium or large. We can also order another size if needed.)

1. Leave a comment on this post.
2. Get an additional entry if you are a follower of this blog.
3. Get an additional entry if you are a follower of the Sufficient Grace Facebook page.
4. Get two additional entries if you leave a comment encouraging Katie on her blog. (yes, I'm bribing you to encourage this sweet mom...and no, I don't feel guilty about it!).
5. Get an additional entry for sharing this post on Facebook.
6. Get 5 additional entries for every Wild Olive Shirt you order toward Mattie's  adoption fundraiser. There are a lot of other styles to choose from! Please remember to enter Mattie's code at the "enter coupon" section before checking out: WELLS0417

Musings on Leaving and Heaven, Summer Reading, and Some Giveaways!

You know mama likes to read, right?

Well...I do...very much. In the summer, when I was young, I used to spend my time swimming and reading. When I wasn't riding my bike all over town with my friend, Nicki, of course. Now I spend my summer days catching up on SGM work, walking the golf course as my youngest son's "caddy" (a.k.a. scorekeeper), swimming with rowdy boys and listening to their boastful talk, and curling up with a book when I'm able. Sometimes, James and I like to lay a blanket in the shade and read outdoors. Ahhh...summer, how I love thee.

I've already read a couple books this summer, and thought I'd share some thoughts with you. And, you know...give away a copy of some of my recent favorites to a couple lovely commenters on this post.

Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo (picture from www.amazon.com)

It's no secret that those of us who have a few "treasures in heaven" often wonder about the place. I admit, when my daughters made heaven their home, a longing was born in my heart that grew from the initial spark that had been placed there when I accepted Jesus as my Savior. Each time I have said goodbye to someone I love, the longing grows deeper and stronger still. This place where there will be no tears, no sickness, no death, no cancer, no bad guys, no leaving, no unmet expectations, no heartbreak, no goodbyes. This place lit by God's glory...what is it like? We look for hints in His word, hints from the glimpses we have on the sidelines as we've watched them leave.

Because of the longing and wondering, I enjoy books that share a piece of heaven. And, Heaven is for Real is no exception. I found this book to be quite believable. We want confirmation, don't we? We want to be sure that His promises are real...that He really is preparing a place for us...as He promised. We have to trust...to believe without seeing, until the day when all will be revealed. For now, I enjoyed the perspective of this book from a little boy's heart...the child-like faith, the reminder that we will meet our loved ones again, the truth that Jesus is all He says He is, the evidence that our babies live on in heaven's glory. The part where he meets his sister...the one that his mother carried briefly in her womb, before miscarrying...a sister he didn't know that he had...of course, I found that part most touching of all. I love that we will know as we are known. My babies, my mother, and so many more....I will be with them one day. What a glorious promise. What a hope we have!

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Leaving by Karen Kingsbury

I've also started Karen Kingsbury's latest series: The Bailey Flannigan Series, with the first book, Leaving. A fitting title for this season of my life...a mother anticipating her son's senior year of high school, and a goodbye that seems impossible when just yesterday I was holding his tiny chubby hand to cross the street. Or at least it seems like just yesterday. And, a daughter still working through the loss of her mother five years later. Suddenly thrust back to the moments as a little girl when our family was broken, when I first learned that sometimes dads leave...places of my heart I'd rather not visit. So, why now?

The book begins with a pastor's message that spoke directly to something I've been pondering in my heart lately:

"Goodbyes were one of the hardest things about life...one way or another people were always leaving. Always moving on...Life changes. People come and go, and seasons never last."

"Nothing stays the same. We can count on that. Good times come and go...finances are ever changing...our health will eventually fail us. And through death or decision, everyone we know will someday leave us."

"All except for Jesus Christ. Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you. And because of that we have strength to love with all our hearts...even unaware of what tomorrow brings. That's what I want you to take away from today's service. Jesus stays."
(Leaving, Chapter One: by Karen Kingsbury)

If you read here much, you know I love me some Karen Kingsbury. I devour her books, especially those on the fictional Baxter and Flannigan families. While her books always speak to my heart some truth from scripture, I also read them because they're entertaining, well-written, captivating, and I can relate to the characters.

But this book. Those beginning words drew me in because they were personal. They were the words God wanted me to read right now. For this season of life.

Recently, some hurts from my past have been bubbling up, unexpected for a fairly secure, well-loved wife and mama in her mid-thirties. Why now? Why am I having so many struggles with hurts I believed were healed the day Jesus Christ entered my weary, broken heart? What do I do with these feelings, unbidden, but demanding my attention? Is it my mother's passing...the one earthly constant in my life since birth...that has triggered these flashes of memories, of times when someone I loved...someone I expected to stay...walked away? Was she the bandaid that covered those hurts, like only a mother does...and now they are revealed? What do I do with those feelings?

While no stranger to grief, I am not a wallower by any means. So, I'm not a fan of all this emotion bubbling up. It's been brewing now, for some time. I want to give it all over to the Lord, work through it, get rid of it, stop feeling it all. But, I'm not really sure how to do any of that. So, I pray...I feel...I talk about it to those close to me. And, I wait on Him to work...to lead me to healing and restoration.

In the meantime, His reminder:

Everyone leaves. Everyone lets us down. Everyone walks away...whether through decision or death. But, Jesus stays.

Jesus stays. Cling to Him.

I love how God finds us and speaks to our hearts...where ever we may be. (He spoke to my heart, confirming an answer to prayer, through a Veggie Tales movie last night, but that's another story for another time!)

O.K....after all that heavy, how about some fun? I'd like to give away a copy of Heaven is for Real and Leaving. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment and mention which one you would like or if you would like to win either book, you can say that!

Giveaway Winners (My Forever Child and I Will Carry You)

The winner of the My Forever Child $50 gift certificate is Kami Rude from My Beautiful Day.

Congratulations beautiful mama!
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And...the winner of the book,  I Will Carry You (autographed by Angie Smith)

is Jennifer from His Grace is Sufficient!

Congratulations beautiful mama!

Made to Crave will be a couple days late again...sorry about that. Hope to get to it by Wednesday! =)

Mother's Day Love and a My Forever Child Giveaway

*COMMENTS CLOSED...WINNER TO BE ANNOUNCED SOON

Love and prayers for all the mamas on this Mother's Day...

...to the moms whose own mothers are dancing in heaven.

...to the moms whose babies are in heaven.

...to the moms with diapers to change.

...to the moms with carpool to drive.

...to the moms with an empty nest, and to those whose nest is full.

...to the moms praying wearily next to a hospital bed.

...to the moms praying for their soldier to return home safely.

...to the hearts longing for motherhood.

...to the stay-at-home moms.

...to the working moms.

...to all the beautiful moms.

...we salute you and pray God's blessings for you this Mother's Day!

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Sufficient Grace Ministries would like to bless a special mother, today, with a $50 gift certificate from My Forever Child. Just leave a comment on this post to enter.

Winner of Made to Crave Giveaway and Other SGM Updates (Oh...and my Haircut)

Announcing the Winner of the Made to Crave Giveaway....

Congratulations Michelle!

I'm really looking forward to joining in with several of you for this time of encouragement as we read Made to Crave together. Hoping we can be an encouragement to one another on this journey. If you didn't win, please make sure that you pick up a copy, so that you can begin reading along with us and get ready to discuss Chapter One on Monday, March 28, 2011.

And, in other news....

It is time to kick off Operation Support Sufficient Grace 2011!

We have a plethora of exciting events coming up for Sufficient Grace Ministries. If you are not familiar with what SGM offers to grieving families, please visit our ministry page by clicking the Home button on the tabs above. You can also read about the products and services we offer to families all over the United States and beyond, free of charge, by clicking on the Dreams of You Shop . We send products to hundreds of bereaved parents each year, in addition to offering online support and prayers, speaking at churches and women's events, hosting hospital seminars, performing praise music with our band One Way, and working to encourage women and families with biblical encouragement. Sufficient Grace is supported by donations from individuals, hospitals and funeral homes who offer products to their clients, churches, and other organizations. All donations made to this 501 (c) 3 non-profit organization are tax deductible.

There are several ways you can help support our efforts to continue to reach out to the families we serve. Most of all, we ask for your prayers for the upcoming events:

April 6, 2011 ~ Our dear friend and SGM board member, Holly Haas, is hosting an online auction at her Caring for Carleigh Facebook page on April 6th-8th. You can read more about this event on the Event Page. Visit the Caring for Carleigh Facebook site on April 6th-8th and leave bids on items you are interested in. You can also contact Holly or me to donate items to be auctioned off. There will be more items added to the list up until the day of the auction, so make sure you check back. There are some cute items already donated, and more cute things coming soon. This is a fun way to support SGM, and get something neat in the process. Please help support sweet Holly's generous efforts and join in!

April 29-30, 2011 ~ Nineteen ladies, including the girls from SGM, will be travelling to Columbus to attend  the Women of Faith Conference, for a weekend of refreshing encouragement. We will be blogging about this incredible and encouraging weekend, so stay tuned for some fun posts!

May 22, 2011 ~ SGM Ice Cream Social. Becki Burner will be hosting an ice cream social at Harvest Fellowship to support Sufficient Grace again this year. A light picnic-style lunch will be served with ice cream and toppings for dessert.  This will be a free will donation, and all proceeds will benefit Sufficient Grace Ministries.

June 4, 2011 ~ SGM Golf Outing

Save the date for the Sufficient Grace Ministries Golf Outing 2011 at Country Acres Golf Club in Kalida, Ohio ~ Shotgun start at 1:00pm



1. Form a four person team ~ $200/team ($50 ea.). Price includes 18 holes of golf,
cart, and dinner.
2. Sponsor a hole for $100 or share a sponsorship for $50. (Your name or business will appear on a Hole sign at the event.)
3. Donate a door prize, or a donation in any amount.
4. Become a dinner sponsor for $250.
6. Sponsor Beverages for $150 (non-alcoholic, of course!)
7. Please pray for this event and the outreaches of this ministry.

Please join us for this family friendly golf scramble fundraiser to help support the outreaches of Sufficient Grace Ministries. Your support helps us provide:

*Bereavement support for grieving families.
*Memory-making materials for parents.
*Hospital seminars encouraging compassionate care.
*Biblical encouragement and hope for women.

For more information visit: http://www.sufficientgrace.net/
Contact: Kelly Gerken ~ sufficientgraceministries@gmail.com

There will be a Ride for Grace Bike Run in August, hosted by Dave Amspoker. Details to come.


Thank you so much for your continued support...and please keep Operation Support Sufficient Grace and all of the other outreaches of this ministry in prayer.


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P.S. In completely unrelated news, I went to my hairdresser this week, and on a whim chose a really short haircut. So much for growing my hair out! Anyway, in the grand scheme of eternity, not such a newsworthy event. But, in the earthly life of a woman, let's face it...hair is an ongoing issue. =)

What We Don't Love About Marriage Enrichment Seminars....Giveaway Winners...and Humbling Thoughts on Expectations

Congrats to the winners listed below. Please email me your address and I will ship your items. Also, if you are a baby lost mama, and have not received a Dreams of You Memory Book and Comfort Bear from Sufficient Grace and would like one, please let me know in the email and we will include that with your "prize".

Gift of Time Book Winners
Melissa
Teresa

Love Post Giveaway Winners
Beauty Will Rise CD - Deanna
When I'm With You (JJ Heller) CD - Kristin

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Just a little heads-up. I'm going to be honest in this post. Hope you will still love me when I'm done. Truthfully, that matters to me much more than it should...more than I would like to admit. We aren't supposed to care what other people think. But, I do. I'm weak like that.

First...I'm going to share a little secret. Tim and I are not marriage enrichment seminar people. Don't get me wrong, we're glad they exist. Obviously, we think marriage should be encouraged and enriched. I'm not sure what it is...or why I feel compelled to search out the deep mystery of it at 4:00a.m., but we struggle with marriage enriching activities. Even the movie Fireproof, which I have recommended, and even gave away on this blog....we didn't feel encouraged by it. I'm grateful the movie exists and wholeheartedly embrace and endorse it's message. I think it is a wonderful movie, with a much-needed message that honors God and marriage beautifully. But, we didn't feel closer after watching it. We felt as if we had already walked through that time of struggle in our marriage...that God had brought us to a different place. And, frankly....call us shallow...we thought we would rather spend our time laughing together. Honestly, we've cried plenty over the years...we've searched out the deep things...felt the depth of them...we've done hard. And, in some ways...we still are. Life isn't perfect or easy.

Marriage enrichment seminars are often not our favorite thing, either. And here's why...I think. They can be a great encouragement to some and have wonderful value. But, here's the danger. They can also point out flaws in one another we weren't looking at before. They can plant expectations in our hearts and minds...that lead to disappointment when one of us does not meet that expectation for the other. Love doesn't put expectations on another. Love lays it all down...the expectations, the selfish wants, the "what about me's", the rights we think we have. Love lays it all down. And, love doesn't look at the flaws. Check out I Corinthians 13. Perhaps I'm writing all of this as a reminder to myself, because we are going to a marriage enrichment thing at church tonight. And, quite frankly, it's on my mind.

Most of the time, I'll be honest.....Tim and I would rather go to dinner, walk around The Guitar Center, and laugh together. Play music together. Hold hands and pray on Sunday morning. Or, in the summer...soak in the beauty of God's creation on the golf course...and laugh some more. Those are the moments that enrich our marriage. That feels like time well spent. Time appreciating the simple gift of one another. Not dwelling on all the ways we may or may not measure up. Right or wrong, that's how we often feel about marriage enrichment....like it's a measuring stick. I know it's not meant to be that way. Not at all. We may, or may not be the only ones who feel this way. I'm doubting we are, if we're honest. ;) Anyway, tonight we are going. And, I'm secretly hoping for some laughs.
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O.K...last uncomfortably honest revelation and then I'm going to make some tea with honey and start this day.

We've been sharing posts on the Lies Women Believe Study. I was determined before I started it, not to grow discouraged if I posted each week, and heard nothing in reply. Remembering previous studies, when I thought others, who showed enthusiasm at first, would join in and encourage one another on the blog...that we could discuss and pray for each other on each week's topic. I was disappointed when that didn't happen. Like marriage enrichment....I had expectations. Expectations are never good. They always lead to discouragement. Because at some point, none of us will measure up.

I prayed about the study, telling myself that I was doing it to serve the Lord, to be an encouragement, and because I needed to do the study. I needed the accountability...the commitment. So, I purposed in my heart...stay focused on the Lord. Just do the study each week. Pray. Write the post. Don't look at whether or not anyone is participating. Just obey. I sent books out to those interested. I was exciting to see that several of you were interested. I launched in with enthusiasm, and then it happened. Slowly, less and less people joined in to add their thoughts. I shared my heart in the posts, but the discussion I hoped for where we all encouraged one another didn't happen. My expectations...no matter how I tried not to have any...weren't met.

Along the way, a few ladies have shared that they are reading along. And they have been blessed by the book. Instead of just being glad they were getting blessed, I wondered why they hadn't joined in on the blog posts and Blog Frog, encouraging each other more in the study. I was grateful to know they were joining in and grateful for the conversation it sparked in that moment. Their input encouraged me to continue, knowing that others where being encouraged. But, as I continued and heard from less and less from my blogger friends, I grew discouraged again. Frustrated by my own expectations, I missed the blessing. I missed the true point of why God laid it on my heart to do the study in the first place...to encourage other women in the areas we struggle. What does it matter if it's not happening the way I pictured it? What matters is, it's happening. Women are reading the book and getting stretched and thinking differently about a few things. God is speaking truth into their hearts. Isn't that the goal?

Yes.

But, for a little while, I was small and hurt. Feeling lonely after pouring out my own heart and getting little to no response. This week, I wrote about the struggles many women face with priorities and the difference between condemnation and conviction. A topic I thought might be of interest...even if some aren't reading the book. Something I thought we all struggle with to some degree as moms with various roles in a busy world.

And...crickets.

 I wondered...should I keep going with the study? Is anyone out there? Is this helping? Is it relevant? Is it being a good steward of time?

Then, earlier today, another friend shared how the study is blessing her. I told her some of my struggle with the lack of response, and saw when I heard my words out loud, how ugly it sounded for me to be discouraged about my expectations not getting met. I was missing the fact that God was blessing her for taking part in the study. She said, "I'm sorry it's not turning out the way you hoped, but God is blessing me through the study. He is changing me, and I just wanted you to know." I was so humbled by the beauty of what she was saying in contrast to the ugliness of my flesh in that weak moment. God gently reminded me...it's not about me. Even if we never see the fruit...even if there is not the response we hoped, or any response at all...our job is just to do what God has laid on our hearts to do. We never know how He may be using it to minister to someone's heart. And...we don't have to know.

My pastor often says, even if one person shows up to a bible study, he would teach. It is up to the Lord to do the work in someone else's heart and life. We are just the vessel. We just obey. Just show up. Just write the blog post. Whether anyone reads it or not...whether it speaks to anyone else's heart or not. That isn't ours to decide...or even to know. God gives the increase. He gets the glory. We are just humbled and blessed beyond words that He is merciful enough to take us along for the ride.

For those who have shared what they are experiencing during this study...thank you. To those who are out there reading along, thank you. I pray that you are getting blessed and encouraged, as I have been, doing this study. (Also...please don't take this post wrong. I understand getting busy and juggling many things. This isn't meant to induce guilt. Just wanted to share something God spoke to my heart and revealed about a wrong attitude I was having...not trying to discourage...but rather encourage!)

O.K...I think that's enough raw honesty for now...and way too much exposure. I'm going to hit publish before I think too much more about this, and sip my tea, and soak in this Saturday.

Have a blessed day! And thanks for sticking with me...flaws and all.

Snapshots of Love

                                                      

Giveaway is now closed...winners have been announced!

I am joining with Mattie and several other sweet bloggy-friends to share What Love Really Means during the month of February. I must say, this post has been tugging at my heart, hanging over my head, and nagging on my mind since I agreed to write it. Love is such a vast topic, and we, with our finite, human minds are so inadequate to describe such a glorious mystery. I know I cannot share the depths of all that love really is in this little post. So, I will share but a piece of what love has come to mean to me. Snapshots of love God has bestowed on our lives and a few of love's many languages spoken into our hearts.

The greatest love story ever told, is of course, the story of Jesus, coming to redeem and save His broken people. The greatest earthly love story I've ever known is my own, or rather, it is the story of the love He has woven between us.

Some snapshots of our love...

Laughter...

That's the first love language Tim spoke to me. He made me laugh like no one ever has, and he did it in the midst of such teenage angst and brokenness. That laughter was music to my soul and a healing balm to all my broken places. He stole my heart with his quick-witted humor and chocolate brown eyes. There was an honest purity in those eyes. I trusted him.

Steadfast...

I was a spitfire. My own storm. A huge pain in the neck. (Sometimes I still am.) And, he stood firm in the midst of my fury and passion. I close my eyes and remember a shouting match that was mostly me shouting and spewing forth too many words, and him standing steadfast. He knocked on the door I had just slammed in his face, and thrust a tiny diamond in front of me, asking me to marry him, with a sheepish grin, while I still seethed with ugliness. The beginning of a life filled with moments of imperfection covered by grace, I said "yes", and slipped the dainty ring on my finger.

Doing the Hard Things...

The Ashes...

Working, going to school, staying when others would have walked away...
Sitting by Timothy's hospital bed, laying down his own plans...choosing us...
Scraping by on minimum wage...
Hanging on by a thread, two clueless young hearts trying to be grown-ups before our time in a tiny one bedroom apartment with a baby bouncing in the crib....
Me on my knees, surrendering at the foot of the cross, and him breathing in the black air of the factory and studying government...
Stolen moments of laughter in a foreign place of sorrow through the fresh heaviness of grief, laughter that only he could deliver as my arms ached for the girls I held for moments in my arms, but forever in my heart...
Standing by the grave of our only daughters on a cold November day, coaxing me to leave with his words of reassurance...
Him, going to work still freshly broken and coming home to me, collapsing in his arms in a puddle of grief and emptiness...
Trying again...an attempt to fill the emptiness...
His face, drained of color and the agony gripping my heart when we heard the words "incompatible with life".
Driving home in the rain...
Another tiny coffin, this time lined in blue...
Weeping together...
Me, on my knees again at the feet of Jesus...
Abiding, remaining, loving through the hard. Letting God love through me, when I was too weak.

Redemption and Grace...

The Beauty...

A sweet miracle and the sound of our newborn baby's cry...the sweetest sound...
Coming home...
His hands, calloused from hard work, folded in prayer on Sunday morning.
Him, standing in the food line, dressed in his suit on the day we buried my mother, carrying our plates, thinking when my brain stopped...
The guitar music that fills our house...
The sound of my voice blending with his guitar, lifted in worship...becoming one.
The teasing from our boys as they learn the love language of their father...just make her laugh, and everything will be o.k.
Me...the sucker for a good laugh. The three of them, all wearing a satisfied grin.
Riding home from the golf course in the truck beside him with the windows down, inhaling the sweetness of summer, with my hair blowing free and Need to Breathe turned up on the radio...

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Love is in all of those things...in the good, the bad, and the ugly of life. It's in the laughter and the tears, the exciting and the mundane. It holds you beside the grave and laughs with you in the back yard. It stays when the world leaves....when all you want to do is run away...it stays to do hard. Determined, steadfast, true. Giving when you're empty. In the weeping, in the laughing, in the music of it all...love remains.

I am in awe of God's love. Continually in awe, as I watch Him weave this beautiful tapestry through our lives. His abiding love has carried us through laughter and tears, and continues to cover us with mercies...new every morning. I pray you know that kind of love. If you don't, start looking for it...in the everyday. In the hard things, in the little things, in the beauty of the world around you. Ask God to show Himself and His love to you. Ask Him to fill your heart with His love for those around you. That's a prayer He is just waiting to answer.

For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. ~ Ephesians 3:14-19

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A Little More on Love Languages...

When I was a young wife and mother, some wise women from the church began to mentor me shortly after I gave my life to Jesus. They taught me about honoring my husband and training my children, and keeping my home. But, one of the most valuable lessons was to learn to be a student of my husband. To learn how to speak his love language. While Tim, in his manly-manness, differs quite a bit in what makes his heart skip a beat from what makes my heart flutter in my girly-girlyness....we have found a common ground in laughing together. Laughter and teasing were love languages spoken in both our homes, growing up...and that is a heritage we have passed on to our children.

Sure, sometimes I wouldn't mind a little sappiness. And, Tim...being a student of his wife's love language has learned that, and occasionally obliges. (I must urgently interject here, though, that it is important to keep your focus OFF the idea that your husband should be a student of you, learning to speak your love language. Instead, keep your focus on learning his. Many times, he will follow suit, but that should never be your goal or focus. Love always yields. Don't worry about what you will get back. Love gives without expectations.) In general, my boys show love by teasing me or getting me to laugh. They probably would never say anything this sappy, but I imagine my laughter is music to them, like their guitar playing is to me. They don't say things like that with words, but with the satisfied grins on their faces once they hear the coveted laugh.

The other simple thing I've learned about loving my boys...and I believe this is almost universal for boys of all ages...is to listen and take interest in their stories. They love to tell their stories, and make us laugh. It is a great compliment to you, if they are willing to share. So, accept that as a gift of love...even if it's a story about how they beat the next level on the Star Wars game or the crazy thing Jimmy did in science class today.

For more about Loving Your Husband in His Language, click here.

Giveaway!

In honor of love and marriage and all the good stuff God gives us in both, I would like to give away two CDs...one to each winner. One is Beauty Will Rise by Stephen Curtis Chapman....because he and Mary Beth have shared a beautiful love story, with God's grace woven throughout. And JJ Heller's When I'm With You, because I love her...and I love that she and her husband make beautiful, God-honoring music together. Plus, there's a song on the CD called, What Love Really Means...which seems quite fitting! To enter, leave a comment on this post telling me which CD you would like. You can also share a snapshot of love in your own life...or share a bit of your own love language if you want. Or not. We like grace here! =)

Women of Faith Winner

And....the Winner of the Women of Faith Ticket Giveaway is...

Mattie from Beauty Will Rise

Whoooo- Hoo! Congratulations Mattie...can't wait to meet you in person!

If you didn't win and would like to join us at the Women of Faith Conference in Columbus, Ohio please email me for information on how you can order a ticket and sit with the Sufficient Grace group.

Women of Faith Giveaway ~ So Excited I Cannot Even Deal

CONTEST CLOSED: WINNER ANNOUNCED
(MATTIE FROM BEAUTY WILL RISE)

Last year, we went to Women of Faith and had our socks thoroughly blessed off by all of the beautiful ladies who shared their hearts from the stage...and of course...ahem....Mary Beth and Stephen Curtis Chapman. I met Jennilee and had some delicious cheesecake with my Holly-girl. Becki and I shared some giggles and we all just had a grand time getting encouraged, praising the Lord, laughing, crying, being inspired, and just being girls.

This year....we are getting all our ducks in a row to go again. I haven't ordered our tickets yet, but I would like to within the next couple weeks. I wanted to give you an opportunity to order tickets in the Sufficient Grace group, so you can sit with us. That may not sound very exciting at first, but keep reading! You might decide you really want to sit with us.There will be more information about how you can order tickets in the Sufficient Grace group coming soon in a future post.

Now...for the exciting part....

This year, Women of Faith...

Is featuring....

A very special speaker.

She is a blogger, author, and mama....with a beautiful heart...a gift of writing that leaves you feeling as if God's love is whispered into every word she writes, and a smile that makes you feel like you're sitting on her back porch chatting with your best friend on a summer day.

She loves Beth Moore....but WE love HER!

People....I cannot contain myself....

It's...

Angie Smith from Bring the Rain!!!!!!!!

Angie will be speaking at the Women of Faith in Columbus (and other venues) this year!! And...she is willing to take a few minutes to meet with the ladies who will be attending the conference with Sufficient Grace. I am sooooo excited to meet her and to hopefully meet a few of you!

Holly from Caring for Carleigh, Becki, and I will be going and we really hope some of you will join us. You know, we have to spread the blessing around, right?

So....

Sufficient Grace Ministries would like to offer to give away at least one Women of Faith ticket to one of you. The ticket, valued at $99, will be good for the Women of Faith Conference in Columbus, Ohio April 29-April 30, 2011. It includes an all-day conference Friday and Saturday and lunch for both days. (You are responsible for covering your travel cost, additional meals, and accommodations. Contact me for information about booking accommodations. We may be able to get a group discount, and ladies can share a room to reduce cost.)

You can visit the Women of Faith website for more details about the amazing speakers, singers, and other guests who will be in Columbus. Also, contact me, if you decide to order tickets to sit with the Sufficient Grace group: sufficientgraceministries (at) gmail (dot) com.

How can you enter to win a Women of Faith ticket, to sit with the ladies from Sufficient Grace, and meet Angie?

There are several ways to enter:

First....leave a comment on this post. For fun, you could share a "woman of faith" in your life who has inspired you.

Additional entries for:
Facebooking or tweeting about this contest.
If you are a follower of this blog.
Follow Sufficient Grace on facebook.

*Please leave a separate comment on this post for each additional entry in order to make it easier for me to count.

I'm so excited! Praying (and trusting) this will be a blessing, and hoping some of you can join us!

Happy Sunday....and Go Jets and Packers!

Children's Book Reviews...A Giveaway...and Supporting Sufficient Grace This Christmas

Recently, Anthony DeStefano asked me to review his latest children's book, Little Star. The story is about a Little Star that is ignored and feels useless, until God uses him in a very special way. I was going to tell you my take on it. However, since my son enjoyed the book, I thought you might prefer hearing what he had to say. I will say that I really liked the illustrations.

A book review by James, age 9:

Little Star was lonely at the beginning. Nobody wanted to play with him. The other stars started talking about a king that was going to be born. Little Star shined as brightly as he could to keep the baby king warm. He wanted to shine for Jesus. I liked this book because it seemed like in the beginning he wasn't important. But, in the end, he made a big difference.

Thank you for your help, James....very nice book report...ahem....review. ;)

We still love children's books here, even though my littles are getting rather big. Well, at least James and I still love them! Some of our favorites are the God Gave Us... books. God Gave Us You, God Gave us Christmas, God Gave us Heaven...etc.

I think these books help relate spiritual truths to young children at a level they can relate to, and they always seem to speak to my heart as well. (Yes, I'm a huge sap...and still cry when I read most of them.) The illustrations are lovely, and the stories make for very special moments snuggled up to share a bedtime story. They often lead to great discussions, as well.

Sooooo....

I ordered a couple of my favorites to give away here. I will be giving God Gave Us Heaven and God Gave Us Christmas to two commenters on this post. We have several other Christmas favorites, here too...including The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. I'd love to hear some of your favorite children's books...so feel free to share!

 (Pics from http://www.christianbook.com/ , one of my favorite places to order Christian books and other stuff!)

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In other news...

I just wanted to share that there are a few things you can do to help support Sufficient Grace Ministries this holiday season, and beyond.

One easy and painless way you can help is by using Goodsearch any time you search the internet, or to make holiday and other online purchases using Goodshop and listing Sufficient Grace Ministries for Women as your charity of choice.

You can go to the http://www.goodsearch.com/ website and search there if you don't want to add the toolbar...or, you can use the Goodsearch button on our right sidebar.

If you wish to add the toolbar:
Add the Sufficient Grace Ministries for Women toolbar to IE or Firefox. Once you add the Sufficient Grace Ministries for Women toolbar for IE or Firefox, each time you shop at one of the more than 1,300 participating stores, a percentage of what you spend will be donated to us at no extra cost to you! (you could even save money as the toolbar provides coupons and deals). The toolbar also has a search box and each time you search the Internet, about a penny is donated to us. No registration is required! http://www.goodsearch.com/toolbar/sufficient-grace-ministries-for-women

Another way to help, is to prayerfully consider making an end-of-the-year donation to Sufficient Grace. We are a 501 (c) 3 non-profit organization. All donations made to SGM are tax deductible, and are used to help us continue to provide products and services to grieving families free of charge, as well as to cover the administrative costs of running this nationwide (and beyond) ministry. Donations can be made safely by clicking on the donation icon on the right sidebar. You can also learn more about sponsoring a family and/or hospital by visiting the Dreams of You Shop page and making a donation there.

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Our band, One Way, has been invited to do some praise and worship and Christmas music at the Holgate United Methodist Church on the last Sunday of November during their morning service. If you are in the area, we'd love to see you there!

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One more request, please keep all of the grieving families in your prayers. All holidays and, especially the Christmas season can be extra difficult for those missing a loved one. That's one of the reasons that we like to give away some extra things to bring some joy to a difficult time...and to acknowledge those who are missing someone they love. I have placed an order for several such items this week and will be doing some giveaways here on the blog.

So, stay tuned.

And...for those of you slugging it out in the thick of grief right now...keep on keepin' on and keep holding on to the One who is able to carry you with His strength, comfort, love, and grace.

This Little Light of Mine...

Last night, as I sat beside my three-wicked candle, I inhaled the scent of autumn apple cider...as I remembered my babies...along with many of yours. The candle flickered, and I prayed for each family, reading all 156 names on the list. Names of precious, loved, dreamed of, and longed for children. With each name, my heart ached as only the heart of a mother who knows the ache of one who longs for her sweet baby can.

I hope you don't mind, that in light of the importance of remembering, I thought it was more pressing to focus on each precious life. So, I postponed Friday's giveaway.

But, here we are...with this week's final giveaway...and later today, we will announce all of this week's winners. So, to participate in today's giveaway, act fast!

Today's giveaway is a customized memorial scrapbook candle made by Michelle from Audrey's Little Light! Enter now by leaving a comment on this post. Get an extra entry by leaving a comment on the Audrey's Little Light blog!

2 Samuel 22:29
You are my lamp, O LORD; the LORD turns my darkness into light.

Isaiah 42:16
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.

Praying for each of us...that we would always look to the Lord to be the light in the darkness...and that we would choose everyday to shine for Him.

Love to all...

The Drive

Giveaway has now closed. Winners have been announced. You may still leave a comment, but it will not count toward the giveaway. Thank you! =)

Tuesday evening, I took a drive.

Not just any drive...the drive.

I've been meaning to take that drive for a couple years, considering the idea of soaking in every whisper of the memories from four years ago when I drove that path many times from home to you.

It's the road that takes me to the place where you took your last breath on this earth. This week, before the anniversary of your passing, boasts all of the beauty of Earth's splendor...nature's last hoorah before the dark cold winter...God's artwork. And in a way, maybe only to me, a send-off celebration...a beautiful goodbye to you. That's what it felt like when I drove that path over and over again four years ago. The glorious celebration of color, such a contrast to the darkness of death's sting surrounding you.

I didn't miss the contrast then. And, I didn't miss it on Tuesday's drive.



As I approached the turn, I let my eyes wander to the house that always let me know the turn was approaching. It looked like a peaceful place to live, I thought. I remembered how I noticed it one last time four years ago, the dark night I drove home telling people the news that your battle was over, and you had gone home.



As I made the turn, I felt the weight in my chest and the catch in my breath. I opened the sunroof, so that I could allow every nuance of this drive to soak itself into my senses. I wanted to breathe it all in, deeply. I didn't fight the memories...the flashes. I let them wash over me, as I gazed at the magnificent beauty before me.








The name of a housing development...The Sanctuary did not go unnoticed. I turned up Jim Croche's "I've Got a Name" and drove on with a smile. Feeling entangled and free all at the same time. Letting the weeping and rejoicing dance their dances over and through me, I lived each memory of laughing with you and crying with you...fighting with you, hurting with you. I smiled as I thought of your spirit...how every time we drive on a hilly road, I accelerate at just the right point so that we can fully experience one of life's great gifts...the "belly getter" just like you used to. My kids love it as much as I always did. As I parent a teenager, I am acutely aware of all the time I spent fighting the wrong fight for the wrong reasons. And, all the fighting I watched you do most of your life, even in the end. I thought of how you sopped up every inch of joy in every moment life offered you...even making us laugh as your body failed. Your spirit never did.



I looked up through the sunroof as I drove through what could only be described as a tunnel of autumn splendor. The leaves surrounded me forming their own blanket, a sanctuary, if you will. I drove on...to the place where I last heard your voice.

I turned into the driveway and the memories pushed their way into my psyche with such force, they ran into and overlapped each other in their efforts to be remembered. I remembered all at once the day we brought you here...the day I collapsed in exhausted delirium, the day I returned after a rest, and the day I left after four weeks of watching you suffer more than I thought was humanly possible.

I entered the building to use the restroom, walking past two women, who were there to visit a loved one, waiting in this place where people go to die. The door was locked and a hospice nurse approached me to lead me to another restroom. She led me down your hallway, past the chairs where we contemplated decisions, conditions, breathing patterns, and what to eat for dinner. Past your room, where we slept and listened to my brother's stories and the rhythm of your breathing. The memories coming at such rapid fire speed, I staggered into the bathroom and felt the eruption of emotion...wondering for a moment why I made this drive. I let the emotion come, and made my way outside to the beautiful ponds and the serene path I walked so many times.



I remember walking this path to let out my anger, to cry, to pray, to refuel, to look at something beautiful and alive for a few minutes. I walked it with my kids, walked it while pushing your big hospice bed around the bricks and listening to your snarky humor as you tried to keep my huge sunglasses on your face. I watched James feed the ducks and marvelled at how intertwined beginnings and endings are as life and death weave their way through our days. I remember reading each brick, the names of those who have gone before us...feeling somehow less alone and realizing once more the precious gift of life each of us is given.




As I opened the doors that led to the path of serenity, I heard a group of ladies in the lobby begin to sing what might have been a hymn. The emotions were swarming my senses with such fury, I'm not sure. Suddenly, the doors closed behind me and all I could hear was the sound of the fountains.


Oh, Lord...will you meet me here again? I felt my feet hit the bricks. My eyes scanned the names through the tears. The cool air filling my nostrils and breathing deep into my lungs. I crossed the bridge to a little clearing with a bench. I sat down and soaked it all in for a moment as the peace settled over me like a soothing balm. The fountains sprinkled, the crickets chirped, and I began to read scripture aloud, letting the words join the melody of peace soothing my weary soul. As if the Lord whispered through His comforting words of peace and truth..."I've got her, I've got you. I am here." I prayed a little, wept a little, and let the Lord hold me a little in the place where you breathed your last breath on this earth. Then I stopped to read one last brick, leaning down to wipe my hands over the name of a treasured life...a beautiful soul that once walked this earth and now brightens heaven with her exuberance.




As I got into the car to drive home, I saw an ambulance bringing someone in. I sighed with a heavy heart, and left the place where people go to die. On the way home, I talked with my "in real life" Lynette and she mentioned a story someone shared where the hospice wing was referred to as the "birthing rooms". Perhaps in light of that, it would be better to say it is a place where people go to live...eternally that is.

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If you are new to this site, this post is about my sweet mom who passed away four years ago on October 20th after a very difficult battle with cancer. She was just fifty years old. I miss her dearly...

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Giveaway is closed....winner has been announced!

I know this is a long post...and if you're still hanging in, I'd love to share today's giveaway with you. We are offering a free copy of Mary Beth Chapman's book, Choosing to SEE, to one commenter on this post. Anyone can enter and leave a comment. You do not have to be a grieving parent (as is the focus of the rest of the giveaways this week...which you may also wish to check out!) No matter what we are facing in this life, it is always good to choose to SEE the Lord working through it all.

Blessings...

HUGE My Forever Child Giveaway!!

I was perusing the My Forever Child site, looking for something that would be a blessing to a mama who is missing her sweet baby. I found so many things...

Like this beautiful suncatcher...which we are giving away to one commenter on this post.

And these Forever in my Heart pins...which we are giving away to two commenters on this post...

And, then I thought that maybe it would be nice if you could choose something else that you loved, something that was special and unique. Just for you. In memory of your sweet baby.

So...I added a $50 gift certificate to my order.

Yes ma'am. One of you will be blessed with a $50 gift certificate to be used toward any beautiful item on the My Forever Child site! There are so many beautiful items, made with love, that it's hard to choose just one!

What do you have to do to enter, you ask?

Leave a comment on this post...

Get additional entries for:
Announcing this contest on facebook or twitter and linking to this post...
Writing a post on your own blog...
If you are a follower of this blog...
(If you do any of the above, please leave an additional comment for each one that you have done so that I can count it in with the totals.)

Also, if you haven't added your baby's name and family info. to our October 15th Remembrance page, please do so here.

And, if you would like to enter to win the book, Mommy Please Don't Cry, please click on this post.

Have a Blessed Day!!

P.S. Winners will be announced Friday...and more giveaways will be coming in the next couple days...so stay tuned, and tell your friends!

Winners Announced and Another Giveaway (One of my Favorite Books)

O.K...time to announce the winners of the Memorial Pin Giveaway.

The Blue Ribbon goes to Tucker's mommy, Lizy...
The Pink Ribbon goes to Olivia's mommy, Cynthia...
The White Ribbon goes to Mommy Ivy...

Congratulations! Please email me your addresses ASAP so that I can ship your pins tomorrow. I want to make sure that you receive them by Friday!

I wish we had enough to give everyone one of Franchesca's gorgeous flourishes. But, we do have something else we'd love to give to a sweet mom missing her baby.

One of my favorite books was given to us by my aunt Kelly, after we said good-bye to our sweet Thomas Patrick. It's called: Mommy Please Don't Cry. I love it so much, because it is told from the perspective of a child who has gone home to heaven. I love to think of my babies in heaven. Focusing on heaven's glory and all the joy they are experiencing gives me strength and hope as I still dream of and long for my sweet little ones. I pray this book, and the hope of heaven will bring you comfort as well.

To enter, please leave a comment sharing what brings you comfort as you think of your sweet baby in heaven. What do you think he/she is enjoying as he/she spends time in the glory of heaven?

I love to think of Faith and Grace and Thomas (If he's willing to have tea party...Or maybe he's off playing ball!) having tea parties in heaven with Grandma Kathy. I love to think of them running in a meadow with their long brown hair, filled with ribbons...laughing deep belly giggles. Thomas is playing and laughing, too...but in an all boy way, of course! I love to think of them in the arms of Jesus...full of love and joy, hope, peace, and comfort. Surrounded by goodness! Oh, what joy it will be when I can hold them once more and never say good-bye again!

Comments will stay opened on this and all the rest of the giveaway posts this week. We will announce the rest of the winners on Friday. Also, if you have not added your baby's name and family information to our Remembrance Page, please do so. We would love to include you on our list, and in our prayers.

Remember With Us ~ October 15th (Giveaway - Winners Announced)

*Memorial Pin Giveaway has ended, but we encourage you to still add your baby's name and family information on our Remembrance Page list if you have not already done so. Continue reading for more information...

I'm a little late getting this information up and running, so hopefully everyone sees it in time.

Last year on October 15th, we honored and prayed for many families who lost a baby or child. And, I would like to do it again this year. I hope you will join us. Here is an excerpt from last year's post:

October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I have met so many beautiful families through Walking With You, this blog, and through Sufficient Grace Ministries. Your stories have touched my heart, and I want to remember each one of your precious babies. Every life is precious in the eyes of the Lord. Every life has value and purpose. While I have prayed for everyone who has crossed my path, it would be nice to have a list to pray for all in one place...with names and birth dates (and heavenly home-going dates). I thought it would be special for us to compile a list of our precious babies and post it here on October 15th. So, if you are a mother who has lost a baby/child and would like to include your family on our list, please leave your information in the comments below or email it to me at sufficientgraceministries@gmail.com. If your information is on last year's list, please note I will be including those previously listed and just adding any new names and re-posting the list.

Even if we've never met (in real life or blog land!), you are welcome to participate. We want to remember all of the precious babies and their families. On that special day, I will post the list here and pray throughout the day for each of you...as we remember together. If you would like to help us spread the word on your blog so that we could include more families, please feel free! If you would like to include your child on the October 15th memory page, please leave the following in the comments below (on this post):

Child's Name
Parents Name
Birth Date
Entered Heaven:
Any message you may wish to share...or bible verse that brings you comfort

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Giveaway is now Closed...Winners Announced in new post...You may still comment to add your family to the Remembrance Page...
And, as an added blessing, we have purchased a few beautiful Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness pins made by the talented and lovely Franchesca, to giveaway to three of you. I will be announcing the winners on Monday evening, in order to mail them on Tuesday (to insure they are received by Oct. 15th). To enter the giveaway, please leave a separate comment from your "baby name" entry and let us know if you would like to be entered to win the blue flower (for a boy), a pink flower (for a girl), or an off-white colored flower (gender neutral). Visit Franchesca's With Love site to view.

Also...if you are a grieving parent, and new to our site, please visit the Dreams of You Shop. If you would like a Dreams of You Memory Book or Comfort Bear, please email the shipping address listed on that page. We do not charge parents for our products or services. It is our desire and prayer to offer comfort and hope to every family who crosses our path.

More giveaways to come...so please stay tuned! Love and grace to all...

New Creation...Green Kitchen...Walking With You Idea...and a BBQ Sauce Giveaway! Whew!

*A winner has been chosen for the best BBQ sauce known to mankind...Contest is over!

There are so many blog posts rolling around in my mind, that I thought I'd just combine them all into one big one. Hope you don't mind, it's going to be a long ride!

New Creation
Those of you who visit regularly know that we have been very busy with Sufficient Grace Fundraising events and other ministry-related happenings. Tim and I also had the privilege of participating with a local VBS outreach in which our church brings VBS to the children and families of a local community that does not currently have a church. It is such a blessing to be part of that, and I'm so grateful we were able to join alongside our church family this year, once more. We are looking forward to VBS at our own church soon, as well.

Speaking of our church family...one of my favorite events occured this past Sunday. I love a good baptism...there is nothing like it, really. A changed life in Jesus...the symbolism of reckoning the old man dead and emerging as a new creation, the washing away of sins, the bold statement that this person belongs to Jesus. This person lives for Him. I love to listen to the simple, tearful testimonies of those who have recently given their lives to Jesus...telling of His life-changing glory. The beauty of redemption never fails to move me to tears as well.

What made this particular baptism even more precious was that our sweet James had chosen to be among those getting baptized yesterday morning. As Tim and I prepared the music, I reflected on the words..."feels like I'm born again, feels like I'm living...for the very first time, for the very first time...in my life".



It never gets old. Watching the Holy Spirit work in someone's life, watching Him speak directly to a seeking heart, wooing with the Father's love. Seeing a heart transformed by Jesus...a life redeemed, bathed in beautiful, saving grace. But, when that heart belongs to one that I love...it fills my own heart to the point of bursting. My cup runneth over...and, once more, I am on my knees in awe of the grace of my God...and the relentless love with which He pursues and pours out onto His people. Oh...how I love a good baptism.







I'm so thankful for the answered prayers. God has written a story for our family that is beyond anything I could have imagined. There were years of drought and wandering in the wilderness, but lately, I have been dancing in the rain as He brings more of our family into His family.


(Special thanks to Rachel's Cakes for making James' lovely cake. You rock, Rachel!)

Sweet James, we pray God's continued blessings for you as you walk with Jesus. We are so blessed that you chose to be baptized and so grateful for your soft, tender heart. We love you!

Green Kitchen

I've been thinking about painting my kitchen green for about four or five years now. Each year, I purchased a little something to go with my imaginary green kitchen, in hopes that I would one day just do it. The pre-working-full-time-and-leading-a-ministry me would have had the whole house painted in a week. But, the me I am of late struggles to get to the "making my home a haven" part of my resposibilities. It just seems to have slipped on the priority list, under a heap of other demands for my time. But, God has been convicting my heart lately on that subject. Serving my family by making our home a beautiful and orderly haven needs to have it's rightful place high on my to-do list. So, in an effort to make that right...and in the willy-nilly spirit of summer, I give you my green kitchen!

(Please don't look too closely...I am not really a gifted painter, decorator, or housekeeper...but I still like my little green kitchen, flaws and all!)






Wondering what it looked like before? Here are a couple pics from my kitchen before the grand green painting project 2010...

(Christmas pics were the only ones I could find on my new computer!)



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Walking With You Idea

We've been taking a little break from Walking With You. A few more people are catching up with the recent Threads of Hope bible study that we finished in May. Because I know that many people are busy, I've been thinking about how to proceed, and I have a couple ideas. Prior to the Threads of Hope study, we shared our stories piece by piece, reading one another's journeys and encouraging each other along the way.

The purpose of this group is that grieving hearts would know they are not walking this path alone...that there is comfort and hope and grace along the journey. One way I was thinking we could do this, is to feature a blog of one grieving mama each week. I will do a post on the Walking With You blog letting you know who is being featured, and others who have walked this path can go and offer a word of encouragement, prayer, or scripture on that person's blog. That way, instead of having to prepare a post and visit all of those who link up, we just have to visit one person, focus on their story, pray for them that week, and leave a comment on their post letting them know. I have come across many families who have lost a child, and some have readers. While, some do not have many. We would like to welcome anyone to join in...those new to grief, as well as those who have experience walking this path and can be an encouragement to those in need.

If you would like to be featured on Walking With You, please go to the Walking With You Page and leave a comment letting us know your name, blog name, and your baby's name. I think this could be a great way for us to reach out and get to know other families walking this path, as well as to offer hope and encouragement to one another. I hope you feel the same, and I'd love any input on this idea!

Another favor I'd like to ask is if you are participating in Walking With You or would like to follow and read along, offering encouragement to others, please become a follower of the Walking With You blog. I will be putting up a follow button there for those wishing to keep up on that page. It is now a separate blog, although it is linked to this one.

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The Best BBQ Sauce known to mankind...



Around Christmas time, we received a gift from our friends, Glenn and Toni. It was a container of barbeque sauce produced locally from Mission Kitchen. Little did we know that in that container, just waiting for our discovery, was the best barbeque sauce known to mankind! Let me tell you, we are conoisseurs of sauce. We love the honey mustard, hot mustard, barbeque, sweet and sour...oh yes, we do. And, our James is the biggest connoisseur of all...especially of the BBQ sauce. Why, he even eats it on his burgers...yes ma'am.

So, when the sauce was finally gone, I contacted sweet Toni to inquire as to how I may obtain more...so that I could continue to slather the barbequey goodness all over our food. When I visited the website she passed on to me, I was even more delighted to learn that there was a story behind my newly beloved sauce. Ya'll know how I love a good story behind the story...and even more so when that story shares about a mission.

This sauce was created when the originators were in the mission field...and their mission continues through the distribution of this perfectly blended symphony of spicy and sweet goodness.

From their website:

Mission Kitchen Ltd is a local business with a global conscience. Our personal lives affect, both positively and negatively, those of others across the globe. Mission Kitchen Ltd is dedicated to empowering the population San Juan de la Maguana, Dominican Republic. A portion of all proceeds will return there to benefit the shoeshine boys and undernourished children who live on those streets and call that place home.

To learn more about this worthy (and yummy cause), please visit: Mission Kitchen

And, in honor of my green kitchen...and because I love you and feel that everyone simply MUST try this sauce, leave a comment on this post to be entered to win your very own container of Mission Kitchen BBQ sauce! (Plus...I thought that if you are still reading this long post, you deserve a prize!!)