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If you are new to our site, this blog is sort of a hodge podge of our ministry and family life, and whatever else God lays on my heart to share. The Home Page above will link you to our Sufficient Grace Ministries page. You can read more about the 501 (c) 3 non-profit organization and the outreaches of this ministry whose mission is to offer comfort and hope to grieving parents. The Blog button brings you to the page you are currently reading, featuring a variety of subjects...some ministry updates, some family news, and some biblically-based encouragement. The Walking With You page is a place for bereaved parents who have lost a baby or child to find encouragement and hope. It is an online support group created so that families would know they are not walking this path alone. On the Dreams of You Shop page, you can learn more about the products and services we offer, place an order, or sponsor a family. The Encouraging Women blog is a work in progress. There, we hope to offer biblically-based encouragement to all women. The Resource page has been newly updated with a list of resources that are helpful for grieving parents. Our blogroll is also located on this page. Thank you so much for visiting our site. Blessings to you...

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Kind of Love that Lays it All Down...

God often works in themes when He's teaching us something. At least that is my experience. Lately, His theme with me has included addressing old wounds...revealing neglected hurts...and allowing Him to heal the oozing mess inside. The path to healing isn't exactly what I expected. As with most of God's ways, it doesn't make sense by the world's wisdom standards. But, spiritually...it makes perfect sense.

The path to healing involves learning to lay it all down...

Last week, I opened James' Great Adventure Bible for his bedtime devotion, and I was promptly smacked right between the eyes with this...

Love Passage for Kids

If I can speak beautifully and sing like an angel, but don't love others, I sound like a child banging on a piano or a screeching radio. If I'm very smart - almost a genius - but don't love others. I am nothing.

Love will stand in line and wait its turn.

Love looks for the good in others.

Love doesn't always want what others have, and it doesn't brag about what it does have.

Love is polite, even when the other person is rude.

Love doesn't have to be first.

Love doesn't get angry over small things, and it doesn't remember one reason after another to be hurt.

Love isn't happy when someone else fails but is happy with the truth.

Love will always protect others, especially those who are often picked on or teased.

Love always believes the best about others and is steady and true.

Love never gives up.

The three most important things to have are faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.
~ I Corinthians 13

I've mentioned before that I'm not really a grudge-keeper. Frankly, there just isn't room for all the heavy, nor energy to keep myself feeling hurt and angry. I never thought that the verse about keeping a record of wrongs was about me. Until I read the children's version of the chapter. While teaching James, I was being taught...as is usually the case.

A pastor once said that we can measure whether we are truly loving others by inserting our own name in place of  the word love in each verse. James and I inserted our names and felt the conviction set in, groaning a little after each one. I ended the lesson with the truth that we can never love others this way in our own power. We will always fall short, and we need the Holy Spirit to teach us to love...to love others through us.

The words: 
Love doesn't get angry over small things, and it doesn't remember one reason after another to be hurt.

Love looks for the good in others....

Love believes the best about others...

...ran through my head as I pictured the few people in my life I've struggled to love. If you asked me, I'd say, "Sure, I love that person." But, when I measure my behavior against God's word, I have to admit, I have failed. I have failed to always find the good. I don't often get angry over small things...but what about the bigger things? The things that leave wounds that run deep? I thought of how I have allowed certain hurts to run through my mind over and over, pushing out my love for the person. Replaying hurts, clinging to them, instead of to the Lord....that isn't love. Love looks for the good in others...believes the best...always protects.

Love...lays it all down. The expectations we have, the disappointments, the hurts. Love lays it all down. What if we loved like that? What if we looked at our family...our friends...our loved ones and really laid it all down at the feet of Jesus? What if we embraced the relative at every gathering that drinks too much and says inappropriate things? What if we reached out in genuine love to the one who caused our festering wounds? What if we released them and most of all ourselves from the grip of unforgiveness? What if we lay down our expectations of what a mother, father, child, sister, brother, husband, friend, aunt, uncle, or grandparent should do, be, or say...and just enjoy the person before us...just as they are? What if we closed our eyes to the things that annoy and disappoint us...and even the things that are meant to hurt us intentionally? What if we could carry those hurts to the feet of Jesus and leave them there?

We can, you know...

It isn't easy...and it hurts. But, we can lay it all down. And, how free and light we will be when we do.  I'm learning...and trying...and sometimes failing and falling. But, while I'm weak...He is strong. Through my brokenness, He will bring healing and restoration. For now, my (sometimes difficult) prayer is that God will give me eyes to see those before me as He does...that He will enable me to love the person before me. To lay it all down, and allow His grace and love to pour over us.

I used to want to protect my children from the ways others can disappoint them. I wanted to keep them from every imperfection in others...from every poor influence. I have realized along the way that I was wrong. While I still believe children should be protected to some extent from certain influences and we should guard what their eyes see and what their ears hear, I no longer believe they can be sheltered from being around people who may let them down. It's not possible, and it's not teaching love. How will others know the love of Jesus if we hide our light under a bushel? Sometimes, we have to venture into the dark in order to shine our light.


Man...I don't want to miss it. One of my favorite things He does is to make something beautiful out of so much ugly...to restore the broken...to save the lost...to transform a life. I don't want to miss out on that...so I'm praying and one baby step at a time, with His help, learning to love with abandon. (O.K...so I'm learning slowwwwwly...but He's not finished with me yet!)

Love to all...

12 comments:

Kristin said...

I loved this post, Kelly. I have been trying really hard to love those people who for whatever reason, aggravate me to no end. Ha! Seriously though, it's so true that we have to learn to love and accept others exactly as they are and I find that when I truly do that, I see my own faults that were preventing me from seeing the good in those people to begin with.

Holly said...

Sometimes it can be so easy to love and at other times so difficult. You think it would be easy to love like Jesus but our humanness certainly gets in the way! Every day I'm learning more and more how to love more. Thanks for a great post, Kelly!

And I love how it writes this for kids to understand!

Linda said...

This is a lesson so many of us need to learn and to put into practice. Thanks Kelly!

Love, Momma

Caroline said...

What a great post. So much here to learn. Without love you have nothing. I can still hear my Dad saying that.

Unknown said...

WOW WOW WOW WOW LOVED this! Can I print this and use it with some counseling clients, seriously? Let me know! I also need to use it in my life! I think we should all use kids Bibles...like Jesus said, faith like a child! Thanks, Kelly!

Cherie Hill said...

I am both convicted and encouraged. I pray that I will love others in the way that He has loved me. I know how I tend to beg for mercy in my own life, yet pray for judgement on the lives of those who hurt me. Your post has drawn me nearer to God . . . the place I most need to be.
Blessings!
Cherie

Unknown said...

Kelly, I think the most powerful and useful blog posts are those that are real, transparent and involve a personal testimony. This was one of those posts. Being at peace with people who rub us wrong (even a lot) is possible.., through Christ. I find the effort made to love, instead of hold grudges is so rewarding because the peace of God settles in and you are rewarded with the joy of loving unconditionally and being a peacemaker. I am always blessed beyond belief when God actually even gives me love for someone who constantly hurts me. It's like Um, yeah, only God could produce that!
On my phone. Sorry if there are mistakes. :)
Love you.
Lynnette

Jenilee said...

thank you for sharing that love for kids!!! I'm going to use this!! thank you for sharing with us!

Spud said...

Beautifully stated and thought provoking.

Mattie said...

Thank you for this post Kelly. Sometimes we look at love the way the world does and not the way God does. Thank you for reminding us what love is all about!

Crystal Theresa said...

Kelly, you really are His instrument. Thank you for this post and for always being so honest and human.

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