Aye, Aye, Aye...a Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Aye, Aye, Aye! That's all I can say about the sad events that have NOT transpired on the golf course the past couple weeks. On Mother's Day, I did NOT skip unto the golf course with my pink golf bag and matching pink accessories with high hopes for some good golf and quality family time.

I did NOT proceed to play as if I've never touched a golf club before, instead of playing like someone who has attended the Women's Golf Clinic three years in a row and who golfs weekly...in a couples league. No way...that was NOT me.

I did NOT continue to play horrendously and want to shout and say words I don't normally say! I did NOT proceed to get increasingly irritable as my ball would sadly roll just a few feet in front of me with each wholehearted swing attempt. When I totalled the score card at the end of the round, it was not determined to be quite arguably the worst game in the history of my extensive (read: pathetic) golf career. Furthermore, my eight year old son did NOT legitimately and quite heartily beat me...on Mother's Day...dashing my high hopes for a good day of golf. The Tims did NOT thoroughly enjoy the display!

And...this weekend, I did NOT have a repeat performance of the aforementioned worst golf day ever...during couples league...at our home course...where other human beings could witness my demise. Of course...that's impossible. There is no way to golf this hopelessly bad two weeks in a row. I did NOT golf worse than when I began the game. It was NOT like playing crochet or ping pong (if you count the balls ricocheting off the trees when they did make it in the air...and coming right back at me!) I did NOT state rather definitively more than once that I hate golf and will never play again. I did NOT almost break the cardinal rule of golf..."There's no crying on the golf course" more than once. Tim did NOT proclaim that I almost really was playing crochet when the ball almost went through two sign posts on a tiny sign. The ball did not instead ricochet off the sign and fly to the right on the side of a hill. I did NOT laugh hysterically at Tim's proclamation...so hard I could barely swing the club. The scenery was NOT so beautiful that it took my breath away...and I did NOT thoroughly enjoy the time with my Tim, despite the stench of my golf game.

I did NOT seriously consider naming this post, "Why I Hate Golf". (Remember the post when I pledged my undying love to this wretched sport?) And I most certainly did NOT beg my husband to call and get me a lesson with Tony at the Golf Shop before I set foot on the course again. No way...I would never.

You will NOT find me in the yard trying desperately to correct the problem when I should be doing the laundry. I will NOT be the one with the bandaid on my ring finger covering the spot where the skin ripped off yesterday from swinging the club too many times. After all, it's only a game. I wouldn't let something so minor get to me! No way...NOT ME!

Have a great NOT ME! MONDAY, all...thanks for stopping by!