By Grace Through Faith...It is So Not About Me

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For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. ~ Ephesians 2:8-10



When I was expecting our twin daughters, Faith and Grace, there were many complications. I lay awake in a hospital bed for weeks, praying, waiting, hoping, resisting doubt and fear. When we heard that we were expecting identical twin daughters, almost immediately, Ephesians 2:8 came into my mind. For it is by grace through faith you have been saved... Grace has always been my favorite name, and that verse has always spoken to my heart. It was not something I did to earn salvation, but a precious gift from our Savior. So, it seemed fitting. And, they no longer were known as Baby A and Baby B, but Faith Elizabeth and Grace Katherine. I've been talking a little about names and what it means to have someone know your name. Their names had deep meaning, and more than I even realized.

Webster's definition of grace: "unmerited help given to the people by God....". Unmerited. Undeserved. Given freely, not because of anything we did or could ever do to earn it. Grace that covers us. Grace that is given to us daily in a sufficient portion to meet our needs. Abundant, beautiful grace. Grace that saves...grace that carries...grace that comforts. I learned about His grace through being their mother. And I kept learning long after they left this earth.

At first, I thought that they were just beautiful names from a meaningful verse. When asked by one of our doctors why I chose the names Faith and Grace, I said, "Because it's going to take a lot of both to get through this!" But, even their situation...twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome made sense with the words in the scripture. Because in the condition of twin-to-twin the "lines are crossed", so to speak. One baby, (Faith) gets too much fluid, blood flow, and nourishment, and the other (Grace) doesn't get enough. In essence, Grace literally received her nourishment, her life...through Faith. And they were intertwined. Needing one another for survival.

Interesting...It is by grace through faith that we are saved. What I didn't know is that there would be more. Carrying and saying good-bye to my Faith and Grace was only the beginning of learning about the faith and grace spoken of in these verses. Carrying our Thomas, we learned about true faith. Not the pretty word we Christians throw around...thinking it has something to do with us. Somehow, if we just have enough faith. Oh boy, do we miss the boat on that one. True faith is not some pretty little thing. It is found in the nitty-gritty journey through this life. It is not never feeling doubt or fear, but trusting in God anyway, when you are most afraid and filled with doubt and questions. Trusting when you don't see. Believing without seeing. Believing when you don't get the answer you want or when there seems to be no answer at all. Praising Him in the storm. Trusting Him to carry you. Surrendering to the arms of our sovereign God. Blessing Him when He gives and when He takes away. It's not about how much faith I have or how strong it is. It's about how mighty, able, powerful, all-knowing, merciful and good my God is.

If carrying Thomas taught us about faith, then meeting him taught us about grace. The all-sufficiency of His grace meeting us in that place of unknown sorrows. And replacing what Satan meant to break us, to destroy us, to darken our hearts forever...with joy overflowing as we met our son. As he filled my arms, and as the presence of the Lord filled the room. I sang, "O Lord, You're beautiful...Your face is all I seek...For when your eyes are on this child...Your grace abounds to me." And it did. It abounded, surrounded, lifted and carried me.

And none of it...not one ounce of it was about the strength of my faith, or my ability to conjure up or earn one ounce of the unmerited gift of grace poured out over me. It was only the beginning of the outpouring. It has flowed freely into my life since the moment I asked Jesus to come in. The "works" we are allowed to take part in today are just gifts...immense privileges from Him. Not because of anything we have done. Not because we are worthy...we are so not. Instead, we are just His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which He prepared for us...so that we should walk in them! He made us for the purposes that we serve today. Each of us have specific works that He has prepared for us to do. We just walk in them. If we are walking along the path of this life, following Him, we will just gently stumble upon what He has for us...as He leads us. The gifts and abilities that we have been given are no accident. They are gifts...given to us by our Father...for the purpose of serving and glorifying Him. And in turn, blessing His people. All we have to do, is keep walking.

For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God...
~Colossians 1:9-10