The Gift of Right Now

Welcome to this week's Tuesdays Together in the Word and a combined Wednesdays Walk. Both seemed fitting. To join us, please click on the button below:







Therefore, be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain. You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. ~ James 5:7-8

When my oldest son, Timothy was young, I was quite confident in my own abilities as a mother. My ideas about parenting were very black and white. If you do x,y, and z you will achieve certain results. While far from perfect, I was consistent in discipline, abundant in love and nurturing, and taught him God's word as well as his A,B,C's. I also cared for several other children in my home day care. It was a joyous season of life. I was a young mom, and able to juggle my motherhood duties with ease. I potty-trained several boys at once without flinching, cooked lunch daily for a hungry brood, lassoed the little ones for story-time and naptime, sang to them, taught them to pray, laughed with them, survived the chicken pox plague of 1990-something, and counted it all joy. I thought that if I just did it all right, my child would turn out a certain way. He would be obedient, love the Lord, love America, love his mama, and just be a fine young man. While all of those things may very well come to pass (and in many ways have), I have learned a little since the days of my early motherhood. Some things that have turned my mommy-philosophies upside down and inside out.The path to getting to that point is not going to be as smooth as I once envisioned. It may not look anything like my plan, but it may bring forth fruit that I could never have imagined.

I was one of those moms who swelled with pride, thinking that my child's good behavior was a result of my successful parenting. I would sit at a restaurant with my well-behaved Timothy, looking at other wiggling children...thinking that those parents must not have taught their children to sit still in a restaurant. Tsk...tsk...

Then, it happened. Two things that have turned my mommy-world upside down.

1. My oldest son entered adolescence, and formed his own strong opinions, some of which are not of those that I so carefully taught him. He is trying to find his own way in this world, deciding what he thinks of this or that. I remember being shocked when we entered this season...shocked with the possibility that he would not necessarily choose to follow what we had always taught. (which actually for the most part, he has chosen well, so far. It's just the possibility that vexes me.) Shocked by the sudden lack of control. Shocked that my ideas of parenting a certain way to achieve a certain result were not fool-proof.

2. God gave us James. James has never fit exactly into a rigid mold with all my iron-clad ideas of mothering. He has always marched to the beat of his own drummer, requiring creative, purposeful parenting. James was the little boy wiggling in the restaurant...no matter how many times I would take him out to eat and encourage him in the art of sitting still. (As a matter of fact, an appalled mother sitting near us, once leaned over the booth and said, "Could you please make him stop being so obnoxious?" Granted, her disdain in my opinion was not warranted. James (maybe 2 at the time) was walking back and forth on the booth and smiling when he got to me, putting his arms around me and giving me a bear hug. The woman was in the booth behind us. And she was afraid he might bump her when he reached to hug me. He likes to live life large...and loud. He ran up the church aisle at the bible school program screaming like a wild, crazed native, having somehow escaped my grasp and removed his shirt in one fell swoop. I stood horrified as everyone else laughed. Poison control knew my voice by the time he reached his first birthday. He's had a cheerio up his nose, swallowed a lego, been stuck in a swing, and choked on dryer lint (don't ask). He has always had his quirks. Some of them easy to adjust to, and others that are more challenging. Parenting him has been a stretching experience... incredibly joyful and requiring a great deal of focus and energy.

And...to all of this, I say...what a gift. What a freeing gift these boys have been to my life. Yes, my mothering-ideas have been turned upside-down. I have learned that I truly need to trust the Lord for their lives as well as my own. I am going to mess up and so are they. (By the way, I don't judge other parents anymore...especially when their children are wiggling in the restaurant.) They are individuals, created by God...not little mini-me's meant to fit a mold of my choosing. (By the way...about the mini-me thing. It's really not that appealing. What our children often magnify are the qualities in ourselves we would rather not have revealed let alone magnified!) While it is important and necessary to keep planting seeds of God's word, wisdom, and truth...they may not grow exactly the way I have in mind. And, the growing takes time. There is a shaping and molding in the hands of our loving God. We can plant and water the seeds, but it is God who gives the increase. Like a farmer waiting for his crop to yield it's fruit, we must wait patiently for the seeds to grow.

God is teaching me about grace with my children...and grace for me as their mother. Every time their behavior was less than perfect, I used to wonder what I was doing wrong. (Incidentally, this attitude was never fruitful for any of us.) I would get focused on their performance and mine, forgetting the more important thing. Forgetting the importance of love and relationship. I am still learning. But, His grace is sufficient...for me and for them. Most of the battles are better fought on our knees in prayer.

I leave you with this...a lesson that even as I was teaching, it was I who was being taught. James and I were on a bike ride a couple days ago. He was so caught up in what we were going to do after the bike ride...so anxious about whether we would go swimming or not, that he was missing the joy of the bike ride. The sky was blue with big, fluffy clouds. The birds were singing. There was a slight breeze, and it was the perfect temperature. All around us was beauty, and the world seemed to sing praises to the Creator. But James was missing it. He was grumbling and complaining...missing the opportunity for joy. I could have simply scolded him, given a lecture and let my own joy slip away in the process. (Something I have probably done many times.) Instead, I smiled.

"James, stop your bike and sit under this tree with me, " I said as I pulled off the road and into the grass at the park.

"Why? What are we doing," he half-heartedly grumbled with an anxious sigh.

"Sit down, honey. You are so worried about what is going to happen next, you are missing the gift of what's happening right now."

As the words left my mouth, I knew that they were as much for me as they were for him. God was speaking to my own heart, teaching me the very thing that was being spoken to James with my own lips.

"Look at the sky. See how blue it is. See the different shapes the clouds make. Now, close your eyes. What do you hear?"

At first he said stubbornly frowning, "I hear kids swimming at the pool. And I'm not."

I smiled again, "What else do you hear?"

"The wind moving the trees."

"Birds."

"Children laughing."

"The motor of a car driving."

We opened our eyes, and talked about how we can see the wind blowing the trees but we can't see the wind. Kind of like we can't see God, but we can see the what He does in our lives. We can see the world that He made. Peace settled on James' face and mine.

"God gave us the gift of this beautiful day. Right now, we are on a bike ride. We have the opportunity to enjoy it, or miss out worrying about something else."

"Can we get back to the ride, now?" James asked.

So, off we went...riding our bikes...surrounded by the beauty of the world God made...living in the moment, relishing the gift of right now. I think He was smiling with us, don't you?

Some Coming Events...UPDATED: and a Little Journey to The Shack

It's been an eventful summer for Sufficient Grace Ministries. We started out with intentions to host a couple little fundraisers...maybe an Ice Cream Social (which we had to cancel due to scheduling conflicts) and our second golf outing (which will take place July 11, 2009). In the meantime, God laid it on our hearts to start the Walking With You online support outreach, and more families have come our way as we continue to send out Dreams of You packages weekly. The thing is that God always does exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ask or imagine. You all remember MckMama's leap of faith and very generous gesture, my sweet friendHolly's Chip-In and other supportive efforts, the beautiful story of Rachel's niece Gracie, and my blog-friend Tammy. Others have donated as well and the ripples of blessing just keep going forth. Our friend Dave is now hosting a Ride for Grace in August for all you bikers in the Northwest Ohio area who would like to support Sufficient Grace. We are continually blessed and standing in awe of the beauty of God's people working together with willing hearts to fulfill His purposes.

Please pray for the following Coming Events...

Sufficient Grace Ministries Golf Outing
Saturday July 11, 2009 @ 1:30pm
Country Acres Golf Club, Kalida, Ohio
We still have openings for teams and sponsors if you are interested.
For more information, please visit the Coming Events Page on our website.

July 16, 2009 9:00am
Helping Hands Ministry is meeting at Harvest Fellowship in Hamler, Ohio to stuff and sew Comfort Bears for those who are interested in helping. All are welcome. No sewing experience necessary.

RIDE 4 GRACE
August 9, 2009
1st Annual Motorcycle Benefit for Sufficient Grace Ministries

ALL BIKES ARE WELCOME.

Ride will begin at Harvest Fellowship Church. 288 St. Rt. 109, Hamler, OH. Halfway Point is Perrysburg, OH (37 miles) and ending in Bowling Green, OH (31miles) (68 miles total)

Bikes Out at 2:00 p.m.

Suggested Donation of $10.00 per bike.

Information: Dave Amspoker 419-353-6258
daveamspoker@hotmail.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
UPDATE to original post:
I just wanted to address a couple things, adding to my original thoughts on The Shack. While I enjoyed the book and felt there were some valuable insights regarding God's goodness and the idea of relationship, I am not saying that everything in the book is 100% biblical. And, I want to be cautious with that. I am not a theologian or a bible scholar, but there were a few things in it that I didn't understand, or wasn't quite sure about. However, there were other parts that were of great value, and spoke powerfully to my heart. And the message of the love Jesus has for us is beautiful. God uses many different avenues to speak to our hearts. But all things should be measured against His Word...the source of all Truth and Wisdom.

Having said all that, there are some things swimming around my mind and tugging on my heart right now. I'm not sure if I can share them because the demands of life are piling up around me, and they must have my attention soon. You've probably heard of the book, The Shack. I have been told by several people that it is an amazing book and I should read it. Actually, for more than a year the book has been brought before me in various ways. And I have resisted...partly because I knew some of the subject matter. I wasn't sure if I could read about some of the tragedy that was addressed in the book. And, partly because sometimes I feel like I spend so much time walking in the valley of the shadow of death...going to the places that can feel heavy...looking at the hurts that we often try so hard to avoid that I didn't know if I really wanted to visit those places in a book.

I picked it up off the shelf in the library this week, and opened it with trepidation. I have spent the last few days reading, and feeling ministered to. I'm not sure of all the theology or lack thereof in the words on the pages of this book. But, I feel as if the writer has taken me to a place where I have been standing on the outskirts, not knowing how to go in. A place that God has been whispering to my heart, telling me that it exists. But, I have not been living there. I don't have a handle on everything that was shared in this little journey to the Shack, or everything God is trying to minister to my weary heart. It will take some time to ponder. But, I do believe that He wants us to know that relationship matters to Him. He desires a relationship with us far more than all the rules and rituals we impose on ourselves. A relationship free from expectations and disappointments. And, He wants our relationships with others to be shrouded in the same beautiful love. Relationships covered in grace and love.

He has a peace for us...a peace that comes from abiding in the moment with Him, not feeling the regret of the past or looking to the future with the weight of worry. There is more to say about His goodness that is evident, even in the face of sorrow, tragedy and loss. So much to say. I'll be sharing more on this later. But, for now...I just want to say how thankful I am for all of you...and your part in my life. You have blessed me on this journey...and I love you all so much.

Walking With You ~ Meeting Our Babies

Thank you for joining us on Walking With You. I have been so touched to read each of your journeys and to pray for you on this walk. If you are just joining us, we are mothers who have lost a baby and who are walking in different places on that path. We have joined together, that grieving moms may know that they do not walk alone. We will be meeting here to pray for and encourage one another each Thursday, sharing pieces of our journey, scriptures, resources, prayer requests, and more. This week, we will be sharing about the birth of our babies and the moments we spent with our children after they were born. If you have missed the first two weeks and wish to share the beginning of your journey, you are more than welcome to share what is on your heart.

Sharing the Journey

Faith and Grace
After spending a couple weeks in the hospital with various complications stemming from twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome, I was home recovering. I hadn't felt active movement from the girls in a few hours. It was late in the evening and something didn't seem quite right. I called my mom, and then Dr. C. I told Tim my concerns. Everyone was on alert in case we needed to go to the hospital. For some reason, that I have wondered since that day, I decided to go to bed and see how I felt in the morning.

In the morning, I was not feeling any movement. Tim was at work. So, my mother drove me to the hospital. We were not rushing. Not feeling a sense of urgency. We stopped to get gas. On the drive, I felt the sense of a slight flutter. Was it movement? It was hard to tell. Movements were hard to discern with all the excess fluid surrounding Faith and Grace.

They admitted me to the triage area and began to search for a heartbeat with the Doppler. I smiled and reassured the nurse that it was often hard to get a heartbeat on the Doppler because there was so much fluid. "They're in there", I said confidently.

She went to get an ultrasound machine to make sure. This is where everything gets blurry. I wish my mother was here for me to ask about the details, so that I could share them more clearly. But, maybe they aren't meant to be clear. I think the nurse may have begun with the words, "I'm sorry...". I don't know what else came out. Maybe that there was no heartbeat. Maybe that they were gone. I don't know, because at that moment all her words were drowned out with a choking sob, a twisted agonized cry that was coming out my mouth...in a voice that I didn't recognize. I saw the family on the other side of the curtain being escorted away so that my cries did not disturb the pregnant patient. The agony ripped through me with swift devastation. I heard that unrecognizable voice screaming, "No! My babies..." Through the blurs, I heard my mother talking to the nurse. Arguing. She was saying I could go home and wait or induce labor. My mother said I would not be sent home.

Labor. The word cut through the fog. And slowly understanding permeated. I don't know what I thought would happen...but labor was not on the list. It had never occurred to my twenty-one-year-old mind that I would have to endure labor and deliver babies that would never cry or nurse or fill our house with life. I guess I thought they would just put me to sleep and perform a C-section. But, labor. How would I do that?

Phone calls were made that I can't remember. I called Tim, and cried that they were gone. Our babies were gone. He sped to the hospital even though there was no need to hurry. I was taken to a private room that would have been lovely under different circumstances. I showered, and prepared to be induced. How, Lord? How will I have the strength to go through labor, knowing that I will not be rewarded with the glorious sounds of new life...but silence? How? Nurses spoke foreign words that had no place in the delivery room...words like stillborn and funeral. Burial. What were they talking about?

It was more than I could process. At some point in the early hours of labor, I looked out the window. There were giant, beautiful snowflakes...so perfect and beautiful...just like my Faith and Grace. Each one unique and created by God. They fell silently...peacefully...such a contrast to the turmoil in my heart. The peace washed over me, and I turned to face the next thing. The labor. It was long, lasting through the night and the better part of the next day.

Mom and Tim were there. On November 3, 1996, Faith was born first and minutes later Grace came. Silence. I held them in my arms, one in each. And although they were bruised and broken, I saw them as they were meant to be...beautiful. They looked like their brother, except a daintier more delicate version. Tim leaned beside me as I held them and we cried together, allowing the brokenness to wash over us...forever changing our once young and invincible hearts. I sang Amazing Grace and prayed over them. My mother also held the girls and said hello and good-bye.

Physically, there was relief, after all the struggles of carrying Faith and Grace. Emotionally, we were heart broken...lost without our girls. We were expecting the unique honor of parenting identical twin daughters. And we were leaving the hospital with nothing, except a little care package with a tiny baby gown, some mementos, and a couple polaroids. The emptiness smothered me and my arms ached with longing, as I was wheeled out of the hospital past the nursery where new babies cried.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thomas

My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in your weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9

I had wondered from the time we heard the words "incompatible with life" how we would face another labor that ended without the sounds of a newborn baby cry. I had wondered if carrying Thomas was causing him harm. Wondered what we would be faced with the day we met our sweet boy. And my answers would come soon. I was admitted to the hospital to induce labor at about 38 weeks gestation. My labor was long and intense. Contractions came fast and hard but were not effective. I dilated slowly, as I labored throughout the night. I read scripture and prayed, reciting scripture when I could no longer read. The waves of pain were like nothing I had experienced before. I called the nurse telling her that I was going to throw up and needed a bucket. She gave me one of those tiny kidney shaped things that would hold a teaspoon, and said, "You're fine. You're not going to throw up."

No compassion. I felt the waves of nausea with the waves of pain, escalating as one. In a tangle of cords, I forced myself out of bed and drug the IV bag with me as I lunged toward the toilet, screaming in pain, I made it to the bathroom just in time. Tim had fallen asleep...and the nurse certainly wasn't going to help. But, I wasn't alone. I clung to the Lord, like never in my life. And He carried me through. He was my focal point.

In the wee hours of the morning on July 14, 1998, an epidural brought sweet relief and a little rest. I opened my eyes to see the compassionate face of Dr. M. and I was wheeled into a special delivery room with an adjoining room where they could work on sick babies. I prayed throughout the pushing, and then...weighing in at more than four pounds, he was born. Alive.

"He has red hair," were Dr. M's words as my boy was whisked away by the capable team. I prayed and tears streamed down my face. I was still asking for the miracle of Thomas' life. I had wondered all those months what would meet me in the moments of Thomas' birth...and the answer washed over me. The answer to the ugly question on that first day of the bad news..."Where is your God now?" The answer filled me with peace. I knew the sufficient grace spoken of in scripture, as it surrounded and carried me. And the answer to that ugly question: "Where was my God"...He was right here. He met me here in this place. His grace was waiting. He sustained us. And His presence filled the room.

I was taken to a room to rest while they still worked to stabilize Thomas. With prayers still on my lips, I fell asleep, exhausted. Someone came to tell me that Thomas was stable and we could go see him. I needed some help getting eagerly into the wheelchair. I was about to meet my baby. And, when I did, he took my breath away. His beauty was astounding. I was afraid for so long and what I may see when I laid eyes on him. And, I had nothing to fear. He was breath-taking. Perfect. One of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. I leaned down and stroked his cheek, whispering that he wasn't alone, that Jesus was with him and his mommy was here. I held his hand and touched his head. I kissed him (although, I sadly cannot remember that anymore. But my friend Ginny assures me I did).

His lung collapsed and the machines that he was hooked up to...the ones sustaining his life beeped and blinked. Alarms went off. And the nurse rapidly informed me that they would have to work on Thomas and I would need to go back to my room. They would get me when he was stable again. I didn't know about comfort care or birth plans. I knew I wanted time with my son, alive, if possible. I knew that I wanted them to make sure that there was nothing that could be done, before we let him go. Potter's Syndrome is fatal, but I wanted them to make sure that he didn't have kidneys...that there was no way to sustain his life. Because if there was a way, I wanted them to save him.

They came to get me after some time went by and I held my Thomas for the first time. The machines made his little body shudder as they breathed life into him. I asked if it hurt him. The nurse assured me that they were making him comfortable. As I held him in my arms, a sweet nurse snapped photos with a disposable camera. At just the right moment, he opened his eyes and looked up at me...just as she snapped the picture. I talked to him and prayed over him with Tim beside me. I sang to him. And, after awhile, after all the tests concluded that indeed Thomas did not have kidneys...and his lungs could in no way sustain his life, we handed him back to the nurses. They took me to a room to wait as they removed the machines sustaining his life on this earth. The nurse laid him in my arms and I began rocking him and singing praise songs, and the most glorious peace and joy filled the room. "His grace is sufficient for me". His presence was so evident, so real. And, it occurred to me that I had been given a great privilege. I had been chosen to sing to this beautiful baby as he went straight from my arms to the arms of Jesus. I will never forget the gift of those moments. I was blessed among women that day...blessed among mothers. There was so much healing in the meeting of my Thomas. An unspeakable gift.











-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are many things that I wish I knew to do, or felt more confident to do during my short time with my sweet babies on this earth. So, I want to share a little with you, here. Please contact a NILMDTS photographer. You may not think you will want pictures. You may feel shocked or think it will be too painful. Please just get the pictures anyway. Because you cannot get these moments back once they are gone. Also, I would suggest a birth plan stating your wishes before going in to deliver your baby. Plan for memories. We have several memory-making materials that are helpful for this and there are other places to go as well. Get as much as you can. Do as much as you can to cherish the time you are given. Don't let anyone talk you out of it or make you feel uncomfortable for your choices. I wanted to give my sweet Thomas a bath and a nurse said, "We don't usually have our parents do that." So, I didn't. I immediately felt squished and like my request was strange. And I missed out because I let that nurse's opinion rob my confidence. Below, I will list the links again in case there is someone reading this who is in this place right now, and in need of guidance.

Be Not Afraid ~ Difficult Pregnancy Diagnosis
String of Pearls ~ Difficult Pregnancy Diagnosis
Perinatal Hospice ~ Resources for those continuing a difficult pregnancy
Growing Through Affliction~ Support and Encouragement
Sufficient Grace Ministries ~ Memory~ making materials
Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep ~ Beautiful photographs for families experiencing loss
A Place to Remember

Books for those waiting with a difficult diagnosis -
Waiting With Gabriel- Amy Kuebelbeck
Empty Arms - Sherokee Isle (secular book, but good practical answers for preparing)
In Faithfulness, He Afflicted Me - Lynnette Kraft
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks so much for joining us again, and for allowing us the privilege of walking with you. Please take some time to link your journeys if you choose, and if you want to just read along, we hope that you will find comfort and hope here. Please take some time to visit those who link here, pray for them, and leave them a word of encouragement. Next week, we will be sharing about planning a funeral/memorial service...and sharing our memories of that day.

A Little More On Faith

Welcome to this week's Tuesdays Together in the Word. To join us, please click on the button below:



I am so torn this week because of the wealth of wisdom in this week's Tuesdays Together scriptures. But, I wrote last week that I would be talking a little more about faith on this Tuesday's post. So, I will stick with the plan and leave the book of James for another post.

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
~Hebrews 12:1-2

Can I just say, I am fired up this morning to write about the Hall of Fame of Faith! Just like His word says, I feel encouraged to lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensnares us...to run with endurance the race set before us...looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. Whoo-Hoo! (I can sort of hear one of those sassy Shania Twain songs in the background and part of me wants to say a feisty, "Let's Go Girls"! And, for the record, I don't even listen to country music much!) Reading their stories...being reminded of what our God has done...strengthens us to continue on. We are broken vessels...imperfect...full of flesh, weakness, and flaws. And do you know what? So was everyone mentioned in Hebrews 11. What they did have, though, was faith. They knew they could look to God and place their trust in Him.

Now faith is the substance of things hope for, the evidence of things not seen.
~ Hebrews 11:1

Things not seen. I can't see God, in person with my human eyes. I have walked places where I couldn't see the answers to my questions...where the hope I had was in something that I couldn't see. It is a believing without seeing. What I can see is the evidence of the hope we have in Him. The evidence of things not seen. I can see His hand working in my heart to forgive someone who has wronged me. I can see His hand in the beauty of the world that He has created like a fine masterpiece (displayed magnificently on the golf course, I might add!=)) I can hear evidence of His existence in the sound of a newborn baby's cry. As well as in the songs of praise that arose in my heart and lifted from my lips as I said goodbye to my sweet Thomas. In the daily grace that is poured out on my family, I can feel the evidence of things not seen...the substance of things hoped for. He is. And He does great things in our lives.

I remember night after night as I sought answers and comfort while waiting for our Thomas, I wanted to understand faith. In Hebrews 11, we find that without faith it is impossible to please God. Now, I was a little mixed up, wondering if it was my lack of faith that had placed me in this position. Was it because I didn't have enough faith that we had lost Faith and Grace and were facing the loss of Thomas? And what did faith look like? I wanted to please God. Was I faithless because I was afraid...because I didn't want to walk this path again...because although I knew He was able to save Thomas, I didn't know if He would? I couldn't see the beginning from the end. So, when I read Hebrews 11, I was looking for the answers. Help me understand this faith you require. What does it look like, Lord? Should I know with complete confidence what will come? Or is it a blind trusting?

So, I read of Noah...and how he obeyed "being divinely warned of things not yet seen". Noah built the ark before one drop of rain fell. God told him to do it, and he did...even though he did not yet see what was to come. Abraham obeyed God, going when God said to go. (Heb. 11:8b) "And he went out, not knowing where he was going." He went...not knowing...by faith.

You may think I'm a little crazy, but the fact that they were no different than you and I really gave me comfort. They didn't know the beginning from the end any more than we do. Maybe I thought that they had some insight...some extra confidence in what was to come...something we lack in modern times. They didn't know where they were going or what was coming next any more than we do. They just trusted in their God. And they weren't perfect. Read their stories. Abraham lied. Sarah laughed when told of God's promise that she would bear a son. Noah got drunk. David committed adultery and murder. Moses also killed a man.

And...they didn't even get to see all the promises fulfilled...at least not while they still walked this earth.

These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. ~ Heb. 11:13

But now they desire a better, that it, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them. ~ Heb. 16

Friends, they did not see the entire promise fulfilled this side of heaven. Some answers will never be given until we are in heaven. So we look forward to that promise, resting our faith in that hope. He has prepared a place for us, even as we feel like strangers on this earth.

Reading on in Hebrews 11:23-39, Moses "endured as seeing Him who is invisible", Rahab "did not perish with those who did not believe". And what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Samson, and Jephthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets: who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens....

It goes on to talk about those who were tortured and gave their lives in faith..."of whom the world was not worthy". Folks, these people messed up. None of them were strong on their own. None of them were exempt from moments of doubt and weakness. All of them had moments when the darkness seemed so threatening. Read the Psalms and you will see how David wrestled, and yet he is called a man after God's own heart. It isn't about the strength of these individuals that God holds up as our example. It is about the strength of their God. They had victory because of Him. They were made strong through their weakness. They didn't have all the answers. They didn't even always do it right. But, they trusted in their God...who is able. His glory shines through them. They knew where to look. When doubt threatened...when fear overcame...when they couldn't see the answers...they knew where to place their trust. It wasn't about their performance...their ability to do it just right. It was about God's promises...His strength...His ability. They overcame...they are counted worthy...because they called on the Lord in the day of trouble. They relied on Him.

When I think of what they faced and how they endured, I am greatly encouraged. We are surrounded by their witness, strengthened by their testimony. They are cheering us on. And we could insert our own stories...not to lift ourselves up...but to glorify our mighty God.

By faith, Kelly Gerken, carried Thomas within her womb...not knowing whether he would be healed this side of heaven or taken home to be made whole. On her knees, she tearfully cried out for protection from the fiery darts of the enemy in the dark of night. By faith, she clung to the promise that she couldn't see, believing the Lord when He whispered to her heart that the answer was not hers to know until the time came. That whether on this earth or in heaven's glory, her Thomas would not die, but would surely live. When He asked, "Do you believe this?", she said "Yes, Lord. I believe." Out of her weakness, she was made strong. By faith, death lost it's sting as she sang songs of praise to the God who held her as He carried sweet Thomas home.

I could write for days...more of what He has done. I pray that you are encouraged by their testimonies. They were just people walking with the Lord, sometimes stumbling along. But, their God was and is faithful. As Hebrews promises: Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Heb 13:8) You serve the same God they do. The same God who carried and strengthened and used the lives of Noah, Moses, Abraham, David...and so many others...offers you the same strength, hope, and promise. We have the same opportunity to shine for Him...to tell the stories of His faithfulness. Our stories are still being written. There are promises still to come.

I would love to hear your own "By faith..." stories if you wish to share them here. Not to exalt us...but to bring glory to our amazing God.

So, what are we waiting for?

Let's Go Girls...

Please Pray...

Please pray for my bloggy-friend, Vera, who has just recently found out she was pregnant after trying for awhile. She just received some disheartening blood work. Also, please lift the family of Megan Grace in prayer. Megan went home to heaven this week. Please pray for the Lord's comfort and healing touch on both of these situations. And, please take some time to stop by their blogs to show love to these families and let them know you are praying for them. It will mean so much...to know that they are not alone.

Thank you so much...

A Light-Hearted Under the Tree...Good Medicine for a Week of Heaviness

It has been kind of a heavy week emotionally here...so I'm grateful for Carly's lighthearted Under the Tree this month and thought I'd participate! I hope while you are here that you will scroll down a couple posts and read Walking With You. Take some time to visit the courageous mothers who are walking this path and leave them an encouraging comment. Bless you all...and now, please enjoy some insignificant facts about me for your reading pleasure...or something like that!

Hair Color: Dark Brown...almost black (with a few grays). I've never colored or highlighted my hair...and, yes...I know those days are numbered!

Eye color: Hazel (brownish green...bright green when I cry)

Profession: Mama, Founder of Sufficient Grace Ministries, Educational Para Assisting Special Needs Children

Relationship status: Married

My Favorites:

Favorite color: Pink...but I'm thinking about painting everything in my house sage green and/or some shade of brown soon! =)

Favorite movie: This changes...but The Passion, Walk the Line, The Notebook

Favorite animal: dog, I guess

Favorite store: shopping has lost it's luster lately

Favorite childhood memory: camping...day trips with my mama...laughing with her

Favorite hobby: writing

Favorite song/singer: Love so many...maybe Amazing Grace?

Favorite book/author: Other than the Bible...anything by Max Lucado and Karen Kingsbury

Favorite school subject: Speech and Drama and Advanced Composition

Favorite vacation destination: The beach or the lake...water and sand...and my sweet family good stuff!

Favoritefood: Strawberries and chocolate...pizza...and I never met a Dorito I didn't like!

Favorite restaurant: I love eating out, but don't do it often...like different places for different things. PF Changs for Chinese...Biaggi's for Italian...Cracker Barrel or Cheddars for home cookin', Chili's for a mushroom burger, and Cooker's steak...and fast food for a junk food fix

This or That
Coke or pepsi : Oh Diet Pepsi...how I miss thee.

Beer or wine: No thanks

Coffee or tea: Most definitely and wholeheartedly tea...never had coffee.

Apple Juice or O.J.: OJ

Summer or Winter: Sweet Summer...how I love thee!

Cats or dogs: Dogs. I'm actually a little scared of cats. I know, it's weird.

Salty or sweet: A little of both!

Plane or boat: Plane

Morning or night: Night

Money or love: Love

Breakfast or dinner: Both, of course!

Forgiveness or revenge: Forgiveness

House or apartment: House in the country would be nice...but I have a house in town.

Like to cook: Yes...but don't do it enough lately.

Have You Ever:

Got a speeding ticket: Once...I was late for a tee time. Sounds like I have a much more glamorous life than I do!

Wished you were someone else: Not anymore...I've embraced the me that God created me to be.

Cried during a movie: Ummm...yes

Describe yourself in one word: Redeemed

Biggest fear: Would never write it or even utter it out loud to anyone.

Biggest mistake: I am Lucy...you know Ricky and Lucy...I'm Lucy...always messing up. Glad my husband is full of grace...and he still thinks I'm cute.

Your proudest accomplishment: Can't take credit for it...guess I'd rather say the thing I'm most grateful for...the beauty God has made from ashes in our lives...that He has preserved and blessed our marriage.

Dream job: To be able to devote myself to full time ministry with Sufficient Grace...to be an author

Special talents: Love to sing...

Where would you rather be at the moment: sleeping

Famous person you want to meet: Most of the people I long to meet are in heaven...no one famous is coming to mind. Can't wait to literally sit at the feet of Jesus one day...and hold my sweet babes in my arms...and to sit laughing with my mom on the front porch of her cottage "mansion".

Song to be played at your funeral: I'll have to think on this one...something full of the hope of heaven...'cause that's where I'll be!

Thirty-One Winner

And, the Thirty-One Winner of a really cute bow purse is.....my dear bloggy-friend Veronica (a.k.a. Timmy's girl) at Luv My Arrows. Veronica, please email me or contact Tammy from Thirty-One to choose your bow purse design and monogram! How fun!!! If you still would like to purchase a purse from Tammy to support Sufficient Grace, she is about to close the sales for this month...so hurry on over. Thanks to all for participating and thanks to Tammy for supporting Sufficient Grace. And congratulations to Veronica and family as they have also just welcomed a beautiful baby girl, Miss Isabella Grace, into the world.

Also...a quick, heartfelt thank you to Holly at Caring for Carleigh for hosting the chip-in for a beautiful opal necklace. She raised $64 to add to the support she has already personally donated to Sufficient Grace Ministries. And congrats to the winner, another great blog friend, lover of Jesus, beautiful mama, and wonderfully-gifted writer, Joye at The Joyeful Journey. Thank you all.

Blessings abound...