Looks like blogger deleted my post and the comments, so I'm reposting this. Not sure what is going on?!!
I have had the stomach flu for a couple days. This may not seem like a big deal, and in the grand scheme of life, it isn’t. What you may not know is that nausea and especially vomiting are sort of like going back to ‘Nam for me. I know…no one likes to vomit. But, it’s a mini-post traumatic stress thing for me. You see, I was violently ill with the last three of my four pregnancies. I’m not talking about some morning sickness here. I mean vomiting every hour until my insides were raw, being hospitalized, having my liver and heart in danger (with the twins). Day and night…spending the part of each hour I wasn’t throwing up focusing on not throwing up. It was worse with the twins and not a whole lot better with Thomas. I was similar with James. This cycle lasted in that severity for the first five months, although I continued to vomit almost daily for the duration of the pregnancy. My body has been damaged to the point where my digestive system is still sensitive to this day. The sweetest tasting meals were always after giving birth.
So….now whenever I have the flu, some survival part of my psyche kicks in and I begin to think that I will be this way for nine months, rather than 24-48 hours. Fear and despair overcome me, and I remember the trauma…of being that sick, not being able to care for my home and family, watching my young marriage falter, losing three of my five children…all of it. It isn’t reasonable. It’s just what happens.
But, when I am well again, like this morning…it’s as if I’ve been given a new lease on life. Everything tastes sweeter, and I am grateful for health and birds singing. Grateful for the taste of strawberries and iced tea (this morning’s breakfast of choice). It makes me think about how bitter suffering is, but the joy on the other side of the trial is always the sweetest-tasting. It’s true with stomach flu, and it’s true in life.
Reminds me of a couple of my favorite verses:
Hebrews 12:2
… looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame…
And a promise that has proven true time and time again in my life:
Psalm 126:5
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
And now…our Final Made to Crave
I would like to open with my weight loss thus far in this journey:
I began at:
148
This morning’s weight:
135
Weight loss so far:
13 pounds!!!! =)
Even though we are reaching the end of reading this book, I hope we can continue to encourage one another. Our friend Kate has had some victory through her weight loss, as well as our friend, Sue. And, I’m hoping the rest of you are sticking with it, even if we haven’t heard much from you…ahem. =)
The journey doesn’t end here. I believe that for those of us who struggle with food issues, it may be a lifelong battle. God gives us the victory, but we have to trust in Him and look to Him for strength…especially in moments of weakness. Maybe it’s a little like a thorn in the flesh.
Why Diets Don’t Work
I liked what Lysa had to say in this chapter. It’s important to recognize that we are not on a diet, but a journey of self-discipline with Jesus. Think of it as a new way at looking at food. A healthy way. She mentioned planning what she would eat for the day. I have found that to be in the past, and currently a very helpful way to resist temptation. It makes it less about what I “can’t” have and more about what I “can” have.
I also liked that she addressed some of the legalistic ideas I’ve been battling as I read this book. I don’t want to forever feel guilty if I indulge in a piece of birthday cake (Although, I had a piece everyday for a few days last week…and I wouldn’t encourage that!). We are free in Christ, after all.
“Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial.
(I Corinth. 10:23)
The Very Next Choice we Make
“Holiness doesn’t just deal with my spiritual life; it very much deals with my physical life as well.” Pg. 168
Yes…God does care about how we take care of our bodies. Our spiritual health is very much connected with our physical health, and the two can’t be separated.
Loved this quote from Lysa, “Only then can we be empty enough and open enough to discover the holiness we were made for When we are stuffed full of other things and never allow ourselves to be in a place of longing, we don’t recognize the deeper spiritual battle going on.”
Page 170, “We maintain our victories with each next choice.”
She talks about dealing with our problems rather than “snacking away at them”. About craving God, worshipping Him alone, longing for Him, relying on Him for strength.
It’s wonderful to see the scale go down, I’ll admit. But, there is a deeper goal…a more precious treasure. It’s the attitude of our hearts that will bring lasting change. It’s the One we are clinging to that matters most.
This journey, this victory happens on choice at a time.
I found the correlation of the rats eating junk food to the response in heroin addicts to be unsettling…and probably quite true. I’m not surprised that those of us with a weakness for junk food react like addicts when filling our bodies with such things. Unsettling…in a good way. A way that delivers.
I like how Lysa spoke of this journey being more about what we’re gaining than what we’re losing. So true. We are gaining sweet freedom, ladies…and a deeper walk with Jesus, as we learn to cling to Him alone.
This line from pg. 183 speaks to the core of my heart,
“You, Messiah, are the best match for my mess.”
Yes…this side of heaven, I may always be a mess. O.k….I am most certain to be a mess. But, my Jesus is the best match for my mess. And, even with all my issues (and there are a bunch, dear sister!), He loves me just as I am. Amen.
We were not made for defeat....we were made for more. I hope you have been encouraged by this book study. And, I hope you will continue the journey as I plan to do as well. I'll keep you posted on my progress, and I hope you'll stay in touch too. And, if you've fallen behind...don't give up. You were made for more...you were made for victory. Keep clinging to the One who will set you free.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
So glad you are feeling better. I get sick like that with my migraines...and after they pass...I always say I feel reborn! (:>)
Congrats on your weight loss. That's great.
Tonight we are going to a band concert to see two of our granddaughters play in the "Mass Band"....All of the schools get together and perform. And I am looking forward to it.
We had storms yesterday, so I hope it will be good weather today.
Love ya,
Momma Linda
I'm sorry you were so sick Kelly!
sorry about your being sick, that is not fun at all! but what God showed your through it is amazing :) and 13 lbs? that is awesome! yeah for you!!!
So sorry about your flu, sounds like it was horrible. Glad your feeling better now. ((HUGS))
Great job on the weight loss!
Sorry about the flu! I am so glad you feel better now! Hooray for 13lbs! Congrats :) I have loved reading this book with you and having you on my side the whole way!
Oh that sounds horrible being so sick for your pregnancies. I can imagine that would bring back horrible memories having the flu. I'm glad you're better now! Congrats on the weight loss too....that is amazing and I know it's not easy, but so worth it when you see those victories! Great job!
Post a Comment