Made to Crave ~ A Bit Behind, but Still Here Slugging it Out

Hey girls,

So sorry I'm late with this week's Made to Crave. I know a lot of you have fallen behind, so maybe we can all give each other some grace here. (You know it's my favorite thing!) It may seem like I've been off doing everything but focusing on this getting healthy journey, but the truth is I've been filling up spiritually...along with running around like a crazy woman planning SGM events, going to baseball, gearing up for golf tournaments, drowning under my piles in a messy house, falling behind with ministry work, and wrapping up another school year at work. You know, stuff like that. But, I want to focus on the getting full spiritually part, because isn't that the whole point of this study?

I spent some time with some beautiful women at the Women of Faith Conference this past weekend. And, I felt free and full as I listened to each speaker grazing the places I have hidden deep in my heart with their words of truth. As if God spoke through each one, His Holy Spirit piercing my heart...leaving me weeping, stripping me of the hiding. I'll talk more about all of that in my Women of Faith posts. But, just wanted to share that as difficult as it was to feel all of the emotion and not stuff it under a pound of cheesecake, I allowed the feelings and didn't numb them. I ate my lettuce wraps and stopped at half a piece of cheesecake. And, as terrifying as feeling some of the emotions of the weekend was for me, it was also cleansing. I came home feeling more full, even as I had emptied so much in my tears. I felt loved by the circle of friends, and lighter as I knew He had lifted some of the burden when the speaker's words took me to a place I rarely go, and I simply wept in my seat at the height of the stadium and said, "Oh Lord, I don't want to do that...I don't want to feel this. I don't want to go where you're asking me to go." And, even in my agony, I knew He was leading me to the place I dreaded  in order to set me free, and I knew I would go in His strength. It's hard to feel stuff without being able to numb the pain with food. But, I felt it all. And, it was good. Achingly, desperately good. Not to sound too much like a psycho-babbly bumper sticker, but feeling is the path to healing. (I know...a bit cheesy but true)

As far as this week's Made to Crave chapters...here are some of my favorite parts.

I love the correlation of trusting God daily for our portion of manna in chapter 13...resisting overindulgence...practicing the art of clinging to Him and Him alone.

Loved the verses in Lamentations 3...about His mercies new every morning, His compassions that never fail...that He is our portion, we wait on Him. Great is His faithfulness! YES, Lord!!

I'm not ready to talk a lot about Chapter 14, but maybe soon the words will come spilling out. It is a chapter that resonated with the very core of what I mentioned above. The places that I have kept hidden...the hurts that I do my best not to revisit. The empty I have tried to fill with the wrong things. First, let me just say: Jesus is enough to fill those empty places. I know and believe that. And, I am His. But, somewhere else where those hurts are raw and unhealed, because I have kept them hidden instead of offering them up to the One who can make it right in my heart even if it's never right in this world....in that place there is work to be done. And, He is working. He is relentlessly pursuing me on this very subject. For the very hurts that Lysa mentioned are the beginning of my own journey...my own battle. Please pray for me as He works, and I feel the hidden hurts. I would love to pray for you as well. I'm sure we all have hurts that are part of why we struggle with this issue.

Oh, my. I'll be honest...I'm just reading this week's chapters as I'm writing. And, Chapter 15 is exactly what I needed to hear. I've been struggling a bit with the strict adherence to the eating plan. Feeling guilty for taking even a bite of an unnecessary food. But, this chapter explains it. I don't have to be this strict forever, but I do for a season. Because, God wants me free...and I'm not strong enough yet, to indulge. Not yet.

As Lysa says on page 149, "And the power was to acknowledge that I'm not yet at a place where I can handle a few chips. My brokenness cannot support that kind of freedom."

Love this strategy on pg. 150: "I had to stop thinking about what I shouldn't have and park my mind on thoughts of being thankful for what I could have." Ladies...that's not just true for food...but everything in life!

Boundaries are our friend!

Sisters...we were made for more! Let's live like it. Praying for each of you this week and hoping to hear how you're doing on this journey. Please encourage one another in the comments, and forgive my lateness. And...don't forget to hop over and show some love to our friend Kate and congratulate her on her weight loss! Yay, Kate!

Next week, we will wrap up this study, but if you are just getting started, you can revisit the Made to Crave posts at your convenience. We hope to encourage one another. The book may be almost finished, but the journey has just begun.