The Gift of Right Now

Welcome to this week's Tuesdays Together in the Word and a combined Wednesdays Walk. Both seemed fitting. To join us, please click on the button below:







Therefore, be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain. You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. ~ James 5:7-8

When my oldest son, Timothy was young, I was quite confident in my own abilities as a mother. My ideas about parenting were very black and white. If you do x,y, and z you will achieve certain results. While far from perfect, I was consistent in discipline, abundant in love and nurturing, and taught him God's word as well as his A,B,C's. I also cared for several other children in my home day care. It was a joyous season of life. I was a young mom, and able to juggle my motherhood duties with ease. I potty-trained several boys at once without flinching, cooked lunch daily for a hungry brood, lassoed the little ones for story-time and naptime, sang to them, taught them to pray, laughed with them, survived the chicken pox plague of 1990-something, and counted it all joy. I thought that if I just did it all right, my child would turn out a certain way. He would be obedient, love the Lord, love America, love his mama, and just be a fine young man. While all of those things may very well come to pass (and in many ways have), I have learned a little since the days of my early motherhood. Some things that have turned my mommy-philosophies upside down and inside out.The path to getting to that point is not going to be as smooth as I once envisioned. It may not look anything like my plan, but it may bring forth fruit that I could never have imagined.

I was one of those moms who swelled with pride, thinking that my child's good behavior was a result of my successful parenting. I would sit at a restaurant with my well-behaved Timothy, looking at other wiggling children...thinking that those parents must not have taught their children to sit still in a restaurant. Tsk...tsk...

Then, it happened. Two things that have turned my mommy-world upside down.

1. My oldest son entered adolescence, and formed his own strong opinions, some of which are not of those that I so carefully taught him. He is trying to find his own way in this world, deciding what he thinks of this or that. I remember being shocked when we entered this season...shocked with the possibility that he would not necessarily choose to follow what we had always taught. (which actually for the most part, he has chosen well, so far. It's just the possibility that vexes me.) Shocked by the sudden lack of control. Shocked that my ideas of parenting a certain way to achieve a certain result were not fool-proof.

2. God gave us James. James has never fit exactly into a rigid mold with all my iron-clad ideas of mothering. He has always marched to the beat of his own drummer, requiring creative, purposeful parenting. James was the little boy wiggling in the restaurant...no matter how many times I would take him out to eat and encourage him in the art of sitting still. (As a matter of fact, an appalled mother sitting near us, once leaned over the booth and said, "Could you please make him stop being so obnoxious?" Granted, her disdain in my opinion was not warranted. James (maybe 2 at the time) was walking back and forth on the booth and smiling when he got to me, putting his arms around me and giving me a bear hug. The woman was in the booth behind us. And she was afraid he might bump her when he reached to hug me. He likes to live life large...and loud. He ran up the church aisle at the bible school program screaming like a wild, crazed native, having somehow escaped my grasp and removed his shirt in one fell swoop. I stood horrified as everyone else laughed. Poison control knew my voice by the time he reached his first birthday. He's had a cheerio up his nose, swallowed a lego, been stuck in a swing, and choked on dryer lint (don't ask). He has always had his quirks. Some of them easy to adjust to, and others that are more challenging. Parenting him has been a stretching experience... incredibly joyful and requiring a great deal of focus and energy.

And...to all of this, I say...what a gift. What a freeing gift these boys have been to my life. Yes, my mothering-ideas have been turned upside-down. I have learned that I truly need to trust the Lord for their lives as well as my own. I am going to mess up and so are they. (By the way, I don't judge other parents anymore...especially when their children are wiggling in the restaurant.) They are individuals, created by God...not little mini-me's meant to fit a mold of my choosing. (By the way...about the mini-me thing. It's really not that appealing. What our children often magnify are the qualities in ourselves we would rather not have revealed let alone magnified!) While it is important and necessary to keep planting seeds of God's word, wisdom, and truth...they may not grow exactly the way I have in mind. And, the growing takes time. There is a shaping and molding in the hands of our loving God. We can plant and water the seeds, but it is God who gives the increase. Like a farmer waiting for his crop to yield it's fruit, we must wait patiently for the seeds to grow.

God is teaching me about grace with my children...and grace for me as their mother. Every time their behavior was less than perfect, I used to wonder what I was doing wrong. (Incidentally, this attitude was never fruitful for any of us.) I would get focused on their performance and mine, forgetting the more important thing. Forgetting the importance of love and relationship. I am still learning. But, His grace is sufficient...for me and for them. Most of the battles are better fought on our knees in prayer.

I leave you with this...a lesson that even as I was teaching, it was I who was being taught. James and I were on a bike ride a couple days ago. He was so caught up in what we were going to do after the bike ride...so anxious about whether we would go swimming or not, that he was missing the joy of the bike ride. The sky was blue with big, fluffy clouds. The birds were singing. There was a slight breeze, and it was the perfect temperature. All around us was beauty, and the world seemed to sing praises to the Creator. But James was missing it. He was grumbling and complaining...missing the opportunity for joy. I could have simply scolded him, given a lecture and let my own joy slip away in the process. (Something I have probably done many times.) Instead, I smiled.

"James, stop your bike and sit under this tree with me, " I said as I pulled off the road and into the grass at the park.

"Why? What are we doing," he half-heartedly grumbled with an anxious sigh.

"Sit down, honey. You are so worried about what is going to happen next, you are missing the gift of what's happening right now."

As the words left my mouth, I knew that they were as much for me as they were for him. God was speaking to my own heart, teaching me the very thing that was being spoken to James with my own lips.

"Look at the sky. See how blue it is. See the different shapes the clouds make. Now, close your eyes. What do you hear?"

At first he said stubbornly frowning, "I hear kids swimming at the pool. And I'm not."

I smiled again, "What else do you hear?"

"The wind moving the trees."

"Birds."

"Children laughing."

"The motor of a car driving."

We opened our eyes, and talked about how we can see the wind blowing the trees but we can't see the wind. Kind of like we can't see God, but we can see the what He does in our lives. We can see the world that He made. Peace settled on James' face and mine.

"God gave us the gift of this beautiful day. Right now, we are on a bike ride. We have the opportunity to enjoy it, or miss out worrying about something else."

"Can we get back to the ride, now?" James asked.

So, off we went...riding our bikes...surrounded by the beauty of the world God made...living in the moment, relishing the gift of right now. I think He was smiling with us, don't you?