With Hope

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. I Thessalonians 4:13




My dear friend, Lynette Kraft has introduced a wonderful resource for those who face loss and the sorrow of grief. I wanted to share a little about her newly updated website and her ministry which has so spoken to my heart and inspired my spirit! Many of you are familiar with her story. If you are not, please click here. She has also written a book about her family's journey through the loss of three of her children, the grief that followed, and the hope we have in our loving Father.

She tells her story better than I ever could. So I won't elaborate too much. But there are a couple of things I would like to share from her book, In Faithfulness He Afflicted Me...some things that deeply resonated with me as a mother who has said goodbye to three of my own babies.

For many years, I have claimed to dislike the saying, "God doesn't give us more than we can handle." I even have a plaque in my kitchen referring to this, a gift from Rose, a sweet church friend. I have written about it in articles, spoken about it at churches, women's groups, in presentations, and in conversations with friends. The reason I don't like that saying is because it isn't true. There are a lot of things I cannot handle. Who could handle the loss of a child? It's not about my ability to cope with the trial before me, but about the ability of my God to carry me through. My God is able. I have often said that I prefer His words: I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength(Phil. 4:13)... and: My grace is sufficient for you; for My strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinth. 12:9).



You can imagine my surprise and excitement when I read Lynette's words in her amazing book. She talks about the real verse people are referring to when they say that phrase (1 Cor. 10:13) and then writes:
God didn't promise that he would never give us a trial that we couldn't handle. In fact, if you look at 2 Cor. 1:8-10, you'll see quite the opposite. It says that they were..."pressed out of measure, beyond strength, despairing even of life." That doesn't sound like they were handling it. It goes on to say..."that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead, in whom we trust that he will yet deliver us." It's not a matter of handling it ourselves; it's only through Christ that we can handle anything! ( p. 104 In Faithfulness He Afflicted Me)

So true! After walking through the trials she has faced, Lynette "gets it" like few people do. She exemplifies one who has clung to God in the midst of trials. She did not grieve as those without hope. She placed her hope in God, who is able to make beauty from ashes...who provides the sufficient grace to walk through our trials...to turn our mourning into dancing. She doesn't just offer comfort in the sorrow, but hope that you can grow through the affliction. That God has good plans for you. The joy you can experience in the dancing that follows the mourning is sweeter than our human minds can imagine. He has more for us than to merely survive our struggles. He wants us to fully live and experience the joy and freedom He has for us. There are gifts, even in the storm. Life-changing beautiful gifts.

The entire book was a blessing. Lynette glorifies God with her life, even in the depths of her grief and she points others to Him, as well. I wanted to share just one other part that touched my soul deeply and broke my heart. One of the hardest parts of our losses for me was watching Timothy grieve for his sisters and brother. I wondered if he would be forever tainted with the loss, instead of knowing the joy that can come from expecting a child. Pregnancy did not promise the hope of new life for us. It was tainted. Timothy would pray for each baby after Faith and Grace to stay with us, and not to die. I remember the sorrow in his eyes when we told him that Thomas was sick and may not live...the prayers he prayed for many years after that...for a brother to stay with us. He would draw me pictures of the babies when he saw me crying. He was forever affected by such great losses at such a young age. And even a couple years ago, he was broken again with the loss of my mother...his beloved ma-ma who always showered him with a love that held no conditions.

When Lynette spoke of telling her children about sweet Anna's passing, that was my breaking point. I wept from the depths of my heart at the picture of Jared, especially, because I have seen the sorrow in my own son's eyes. Although, I know that God will use these experiences to draw our children closer to Him and to give them a softness and compassion that they wouldn't know otherwise, no mother wants to see her children know the reality of grief and death at such a tender age. We want to protect them from this harsh reality. It is heart-breaking.

I am so grateful for Lynette, and her willingness to share her journey and her beautiful heart. God's grace and redeeming power shines through the joy in her eyes. Today, she dances on weathered ground. And, she dances because her hope is in the Lord. She dances because He is faithful in our afflictions. He is faithful to carry and comfort, to heal and restore. He is our hope and our joy. Her story encourages those who feel broken, lost in grief, forsaken to know that He restored this mother who walked through the fires of death and loss more than once. The same God can carry you and restore your brokenness, as well.

Our soul waits for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield.
For our heart shall rejoice in Him.
Because we have trusted in His holy name.
Let Your mercy, O Lord, be upon us,
Just as we hope in You. ~ Psalm 33:20-22