Saturday

It would be a gross understatement to say that returning to work after being home with my children for a few years was an adjustment. It has been a drastic change, and even more so since I joined the ranks of full time employment. I remember my first week of teaching preschool...the getting up early and getting myself and the kids out the door with everything we needed for the day by 7:45a.m.

"Just put your head down and go...this is life for you now...just do what you have to do," I thought.

So..I did. And, when the first Saturday came, I woke up with the newly familiar weight of the urgency to rush and get ready to go. I sat up in bed, thinking we had to hurry or we would be late. Then slowly the realization dawned on me. "Today, there is no need to rush... no place we have to be. No deadline hanging over our heads," I thought. It was Saturday. I was so busy trying to adapt to this new frantic schedule, I forgot that Saturday would come.

Saturday...what an amazing gift of freedom. A day to refresh, to refuel, to stop and smell the roses. Oh...Saturday, my friend. There was a ray of hope that we would survive this upheaval. Every week, no matter what, Saturday would come.

Now, my "day job" is as an educational paraprofessional assisting special needs students the elementary school setting. (A fancy title for teacher's aide.) I work at my youngest son's elementary school. I like the people I work with. Some of them were my teachers when I was in elementary school! And, they are an inspiring group of wonderful people. I love the students I work with...love to see them learn and grow in knowledge...love to see them overcome obstacles and achieve goals. It's good stuff. I'm comfortable there and confident in my abilities to do the job.

As you've noticed, I also have a husband, two sons, and a ministry. If I made a list of priorities (which I think is important to do), it would look like this:

1. Relationship and walk with the Lord
2. Relationship with my husband
3. Mothering my children
4. Serving - in church, in ministry, and fulfilling work roles.

What I'm not good at is juggling it all and keeping the priorities in order. I want to paint a picture that I'm good at it. But the truth is, I have failed often in the areas that are most important. I missed my morning devotion time twice this week. My home is not organized. I am behind on all my home-making duties. Managing time...not my strength. On the mother front, I am in uncharted waters as the parent of a teenager. As far as the ministry, there is a pile of work growing in front of me...work I love...work I want to spend time on.

Put my head down and go. That has been my motto...the way to survive the demands of the day. And, I wake up often with yesterday's to-do list still waiting for today. By the time I arrive home to my family and the list waiting for me, I have given the majority of my daily dose of patience to other people's children, my time is limited, and my energy reserves depleted.

A recent post by Lynette pretty well summed up my heart's cry in this area of my life. Oh, how I long for simplicity...for order...for a mind that is uncluttered and free to be inspired and creative...a spirit that is refreshed...that I may give and serve others out of abundance. I am laying those desires at the feet of the Lord, and focusing on changing what needs to change...what can be changed. I'm asking Him to equip me with the grace to meet the needs of my family, the demands of work, and the blessing of serving Him in ministry. He is able, when I am not. He is faithful, when I am not. He is strong, when I am weak.

And for now...there's still Saturday...