Dancing and Giggling...

My mother loved Christmas. Every year, no matter the circumstances of our family (and believe me, sometimes there were some difficult circumstances), she always made Christmas special! In the days leading up to Christmas, we enjoyed many shopping trips to purchase ornaments and look at all the decorations. She loved decorating...some years the house looked like Vegas inside and out with all the lights!

I remember the year I was on bed rest while pregnant for Faith and Grace, she wheeled me around in a wheelchair so that we could have a little Christmas shopping fun. And, after they were born, we shopped for the perfect ornaments to hang in remembrance of them. But, that's another story.

The year we were into everything mauve, burgundy, and Victorian, Hills had a bunch of ornaments on sale. And she bought me a cart full! After an especially rough year, she bought me a new pre-lit Christmas tree. We had the best time!

Since she has been celebrating her Christmases with Jesus the past three years, I have missed her greatly. The missing that often visits washes over me every year the first time I walk into the Christmas aisle. And, yet...her love for that very thing compels me to go there so that I can remember and feel her closeness. My boys hear me say, "Grandma loved this...she loved Christmas." They say, "Mom, you always say that." I smile and ache all at the same time. Then, I remember her gift for finding the joy in everything...her uncanny ability to not just make lemonade from lemons, but to enjoy the lemonade with the glee of a little girl.

Tonight, James and I had the best time eating dinner at a nice Italian restaurant. James appreciates a nice restaurant with some good bread dipped in oil and Parmesan, excellent Italian cuisine, and ambiance...ahhh, he is so a boy after his mother's heart! I love my food, you know! Of course, it was the icing on the cake that Biaggi's puts paper covering over their lovely white, linen table cloths so that children can draw on them.

After dinner, we went to WalMart to get some essentials, and there it was...the Christmas aisle. I took a deep breath as the missing washed over me, and I looked down at James. "Come on mom, let's go look." His eyes lit up with excitement as he appreciated each ornament with the fullness of joy that comes from the heart of the young and from the rare soul like my mom who manages to hold on to that ability long into adulthood. She gave me that gift, by the way. I smiled, and said, "Grandma would love this...she loved Christmas." James started filling the cart with a few little ornaments...he was exuberant when I allowed him to choose a few.

Then, we spotted the animated, musical stuffed animals. James and I started pressing the buttons to see what each one would do. We danced and giggled in the middle of the WalMart aisle, as I remembered all the other times I have freely giggled with my mom and friends over the years. But never before, have I had such a great time giggling deep belly giggles with anyone as I did tonight with this sweet gift of a boy that God gave me.

I just love him...

Thank you, God for deep belly giggles, one of my favorite sounds...especially the kind that happen right in the middle of the missing, reminding me that she will always be part of us. She would've loved giggling deep belly giggles and dancing in the aisles of WalMart. And, because she did...we still do.