Senior Pictures...and Mama Confessions

This is my senior boy. I know you've been hearing a bit about our first born lately around these blog-parts, and I promise I will post about something else soon. But truthfully, I'm a bit consumed by this fleeting time.

My sweet friend Dawn Marshall took his senior pictures last month and she let us share one here. They turned out great, don't you think?

She also emailed me a copy of a pic she snapped before the one above. When Timothy took his guitar out of his case, it was a bit dusty. So, without skipping a beat, I did what mamas do. I dusted it off with the bottom of my skirt. Dawn, being a mama herself, was amused by the gesture. (Please ignore the fact that it was not my best side!)

Speaking of not my best side, I've been doing some thinking on the stuff we mamas do...the schedules we juggle, the guilt we carry, the things we forget, the things we'll never forget, the things we wish we could forget, and the things we want to remember forever, the things we mess up, and the moments when God's grace shines through and we breathe a satisfied sigh.I've been pondering the passing of time...the way everyone says that it will go so fast. 

They are so right.

I returned to my job as a paraprofessional at a local elementary school last week, and Timothy is in the thick of his very last high school golf season ever. SGM is busy and growing. Tim started his own business. And, James started middle school. I can feel the pull of my heart's desire to be the "keeper of my home" and the reality of the everyday demands of life. While I need to work, and enjoy my job working with special needs students, there are days when I would love to focus solely on the needs of my family...and bake some cookies. I've never felt like one of those people who could do it all. I try, but I mess it up.

I forget things, miss appointments, and constantly feel like I'm juggling and about to drop all the balls hanging in the air. A co-worker and fellow mama was sharing at lunch about  her child's homework, and forgetting something.

I looked up and said, "I don't know how other working mothers do it. Some seem to have it all together. I stink at it!"

And, I was thinking maybe I'm not the only mom who feels that way sometimes...whether we work outside of the home, or not. Maybe we all have moments when we feel like we are messing it all up. 

But, then, I look at my boy...almost all grown up. I remember the prayers I've prayed for his life...and the answers I've seen so far. I think about God's faithfulness, reflecting on all He has already done. Surely He isn't finished yet. His promises are the same for both my boys.

And, let me tell you...God hears the prayers of a mother.

I love that God is always big enough for everything that weighs on my mama-heart. I love that it's about His faithfulness...not my inability to get it right. It's about His strength...made perfect through my weakness. Always and without fail.

I'm so grateful...and now if you'll excuse me...I think I'll go bake some cookies.