What to Do When we Fall on our Face (Made to Crave) and Some Easter Pics

I'll be honest. I don't feel qualified to write this week's post.

I picked up my Made to Crave book this weekend hoping that Lysa would have some words of encouragement...some inspiring wisdom...for when we don't resist temptation. When we eat the Easter cookie (or three), relish the cheesy potatoes and ham, indulge in a second breadstick. Not that I've done any of that or anything. I would never. I am always walking in victory, a solid, unbreakable rock. Nothing can penetrate my resolve.

Who am I kidding? I ate all of the above and then some this week. Truthfully, I'm not even sure what happened. I lost two pounds the first half of the week, felt free, had some lovely devotions. And, then...I ate a second breadstick, and some trail mix, and a couple chips. Like an alcoholic falling off the wagon, I tumbled into a frenzy of eating what I wanted.

And, here's the trouble. The guilt is so extreme now that we are looking at our cravings in a spiritual light. I feel like I've done more than just cheat myself on this diet...I feel as if I'm not relying on God...and almost turning from Him and toward something else. In some ways, that's true...like when I reach for the chips in the midst of a heated debate with my teenage son or when I take another pile of bills out of the mailbox at the end of a long day. But, what about enjoying an Easter dinner with my family? Should I always feel guilt, every time I indulge? Should there be a balance? Where's the grace?

I've read Lysa's words about denying ourselves and having victory...that we were made for more than this. But, what about when we fall on our face, when we indulge, fail, crumble under the weight of temptation? And is it always wrong to enjoy some yummy, frivolous food?

The answer, I believe, came partly from this week's Made to Crave chapters...and partly from the Holy Spirit. (I'm sure He had a hand in all of it!)

Here's what I'm thinking:
There is still grace. And, the grace when we fall is that we can get back up again. We don't have to stay in the mud and muck, our faces all covered with cream cheese frosting and Dorito cheese caked on the ends of our fingers. When we've tried to do it in our own power, and failed, we can give it over to Him, trusting His grace to be sufficient...His strength to cover our weaknesses.

And...there will be a time when we can enjoy a treat now and again. But, first, there needs to be a season of "getting free". I have learned from the past few days of indulgence that I'm not completely free from this bondage or strong enough to keep from slipping into my old habits. It's like going to a bar for someone with a drinking problem, when that person has only been sober for a few weeks. We have to be ready....we have to be free. And, while we're "getting free" we have to stay away from indulgences...or at least severely limit them.

Now...chapters 10, 11, & 12...

Chapter Ten begins with three words that are not allowed in my house...and words I myself try not to say. (As a matter of fact, my friend Dinah was disgusted by these very words...and she's probably the reason I've never allowed them!)

This Isn't Fair!

It pained me just to type them! They are such a waste of time...wallowing in what's fair, complaining about what's not. Please. Lysa talks about coming to terms with...and even being grateful for the way God made us. He lovingly created each of us, after all. And, that includes the extra tummy I have from carrying five babies...(not the part that came from eating too many Doritos).

A helpful phrase from chapter 10: "This feels good now, but how will I feel about this in the morning?" Chew on that thought...instead of the cookie with the cream cheese frosting. I sure wish I would have taken my own advice today. Sometimes, we don't have to wait for the morning to feel the guilt settling in. We really are made for more than this....sigh.

Chapter 11 describes me. Food is and has been my numbing drug of choice when life gets tough. I loved the segment from Ruth Graham with this verse and message:

You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north. Deuteronomy 2:3

I could keep circling the mountain with my excuses. I could weep and mourn over my failures...even those as recent as today. Or, I could stop making excuses...give what weighs on my heart to God (again), and go north....eyes toward heaven, heart and mind focused on the Lord, leaning on His strength.

These words resonated with my heart and soul:
"Food gives such an instant rush and tangible good feeling. It's so much easier to figure out how to get the short-term high of a cookie than it is to get a heart filled up and satisfied with God. I can drive to the store and fill my arms with any kind of cookies I want. But wrapping my arms around getting "filled up" with God during a particularly empty feeling day doesn't seem as tangible or immediate."

A friend of mine shared those same thoughts about her indulgence in a whopper this week after a difficult day. And, I've lived it a thousand times. All the times when it just hurts so much, and I want immediate comfort. You see, when God fills you up...it is glorious and freeing, empowering, and full of love and grace. But, it takes time. You have to invest the time reading His word, seeking Him, praying. It's not immediate. But, the immediate stuff we fill ourselves with only feels good for a moment...and then steals our joy, peace, freedom...leaving us feeling more empty and often full of guilt.

Also loved how the Lord whispered this truth to Lysa's heart:
Even the perfect circumstances won't satisfy you like letting Me change the way you think.

He's whispering that same truth to you and me.

In Chapter 12, Lysa talks about one of my favorite subjects:
Remaining.
Dinah and I used to talk about remaining or abiding often...not being moved by our circumstances, but remaining in God's love and in His truth. Steadfastly abiding. Finding our happy in Him...not in being thin or achieving the next goal for our lives...but in Him. Choosing His ways, His thoughts, His plans. Because when we tie our happy to anything else, it can be stolen quickly when the hard stuff comes swooping in...as it always does.

Please pray for me this week, as I seek to get back on track with eating healthy and "remain" in Him. And, I'll be praying for you, too. And, please remember to encourage one another. Send our friend Kate some love as well.

I leave you with this verse that sums it up...and some Easter pics from this beautiful Resurrection Day:

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God".  Ephesians 3:17-19

That's the kind of full I want...."Lord help me remember that the next time I try to get full some other way. Remind me that I was made for more, and fill me with the fullness of You."

And, now some random Easter pics...

Had a wonderful time with James telling the Easter story with Resurrection Eggs. One of my favorite traditions.

Lovin' on Max at church...

(By the way...I found the answer to the question, "What's a girl to do when she doesn't have any little girls this side of heaven to adorn in Easter bonnets and dresses?" Adorn herself!)

It's hard to wrangle boys into posing for pictures...well my boys at least! I love this one...love how little brother is looking up to big brother.

I think Dad's are much better at speaking the language of "boy wrangling".

Hope you had a wonderful Easter. It was a grand celebration with our church family this morning, and our little family at home in the afternoon. He is risen indeed!

Riding my Turquoise Bike Past Her House in the Spring...

I love my turquoise bike.

It has what I call a mama bottom seat. You know, a seat made for a mama-sized bottom. Not some tiny uncomfortable contraption.

I had been eyeing it for awhile, looking longingly through the window of our small town hardware store each time I rode by on my hand-me-down ten speed, taken by the way the sun reflected off it's frosty blue goodness.

It was July, several years ago...the week of my birthday...when Tim handed me the money and told me to go get the bike as a present.

The first place I rode my new bike was to my mother's house. She smiled and said that she was just about to do the same thing. She knew how I loved to ride my bike, and how much I had wanted the shiny turquoise bike that had been calling to me from the hardware store window. She bought me a pink backpack, instead...to carry my library books when James and I rode our bikes to get books. Her house was always on my bike route. And, we would often stop there to pet her dog Pebbles, get James a drink (he is always thirsty), and grab some tomatoes from the garden. Even after she went home to heaven, her house remained on our route. We would stop and chat with Grandpa, pet Pebble, and get James a drink.

I still ride my bike, sometimes with James chatting away alongside me, and sometimes on my own. And, her house is still on our bike route.

Only now, it isn't her house anymore, or mine, or the house of my children's grandmother. Someone else has bought my mother's house. Her husband remarried and moved away last summer. Someone else will wash the dishes in the sink that I washed so many dishes in, while listening to the oldies with the summer breeze blowing the scent of lilacs in the windows, and the faint whir of mopeds humming in the distance.

The first bike ride we took this year we went around the reservoir lifting our legs as our bike sped down the muddy hill, life blooming all around as spring awakens from its winter sleep.  Her house came into view. And, I stopped, overwhelmed with the nostalgia washing over me. My eyes settled on the deck Tim built, where I sat on the swing, watching the boys swim in the pool that's no longer there. My throat swelled, and I shook the tears away.

James was with me, and I didn't want to dwell long on the sad. I didn't want to ruin the first bike ride of spring. Still, my heart ached with such longing I could barely breathe.

Last week, I started off on my ride, alone, over the creek bridge, muddy waters rushing fast, full of spring rain. I crossed the bumpy railroad tracks that surround my neighborhood and past the Methodist church, rode around the school, past the pool park and around the ball diamond, remembering the summers when all my friend Nicki and I did was ride around town, waiting for something to happen and dreaming our summer dreams.

I crossed Main Street and Ron's Super Valu, then over more bumpy tracks until I reached her road.

I've mentioned before how each season, the missing washes over me anew. Spring is no exception.

But this year, this year is different.

This year, when I ride past her house, the house where I grew up, I cannot stop and get a water and pet Pebbles.

I road by, drinking in the sight, allowing the ache to fully envelope me. My eyes settled where the flag used to fly so proudly, her rock garden that she and Grandpa proudly laid by hand, the pink stencil she painted on the gas tank.

Her lilac bush, not yet blooming.

And, her clothesline...with the clothespins still clipped to the top. She loved to hang the clothes out to dry in the summer breeze, and was quite dedicated, even tromping out in the mud in her snow boots.

That did it. The tears spilled over, and my chest heaved, as I pedalled away from the memories, the hurt, and the missing. Or I tried, but it followed me. It followed me as I rode over the bridge where the wildflowers bloom tall in the summer and past the field still muddy with spring, over the tracks again and around the reservoir hill. Still...I pedalled my turquoise bike, tears streaming, chest heaving.

By the time I rounded the corner of my road and pulled into my stone driveway, the tears were dry.

I rolled the turquoise bike into the garage, hugged my husband, and started supper for my family.

Time marches on, and the missing washes over me anew each season. It probably always will. Even more reason to make memories with those we love. Even more reason to soak in the gift of right now, with a grateful heart. Even more reason to cling to Jesus, and not the fleeting things of this world.

For, no season on this earth lasts forever.

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A Blessed Easter to you and yours....love and prayers for those missing someone during this spring season of hope and renewal.

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:25-26

Finding our Beautiful...and Getting our Groove On

Made to Crave Session Four

This week, we are covering chapters seven, eight, and nine in the book, Made to Crave, by Lysa Terkeurst.

I love the title of Chapter 7 - I'm Not Defined by the Numbers

What numbers are we talking about? The numbers on the scale, of course. Other than Lysa humming "I Like Big Butts...", this statement was my favorite from chapter seven:

I am a Jesus girl who can step on the scale and see the numbers as an indication of how much my body weighs and not as an indication of my worth.

Also love how Lysa talks about "taking every thought captive" and not dwelling on thoughts and statements from others that don't belong to us. Being free...that's what it's all about, and in Jesus we are free indeed.

Perhaps my favorite line of this session and all three chapters comes from Chapter 8, page 81:

Define your week by obedience, not by a number on the scale.

I found this statement of truth particularly helpful this week, since I didn't lose one pound...even though I ate my tiny low-calorie portions everyday, faithfully, and exercised a few times.  I reminded myself of Lysa's words when the number on the scale didn't budge. This number doesn't define me or my efforts. I was obedient...and therefore victorious. Despite the numbers.

(I also clung to a truth from last week as I walked past an opened bad of Doritos about five times and resisted eating them...."You were made for more than this." And, each time I prayed instead of shoving a handful of cheesy crunchiness into my mouth.)

Lynnette recently blogged a bit about physical beauty, and some of our struggles. She mentioned the effects of grief on one's face, and her words resonated with me. When I look in the mirror, I am met with a much different face than the one that stared back at me several years ago. Yes...I'm still "young" to some, but time has begun to have it's way with me, a wrinkle here, a laugh line there...but more than that the weight of grief, the effects of tear-stained cheeks, eyes that have known great sorrow, the look of one who has lived much life in these thirty-five years.

So, when Lysa says, we need to learn to say:

I've found my beautiful. And I like my beautiful.

I get it. There is beauty...even in the lines of grief on my face. Each one tells the story of a life that mattered, precious, dearly loved, and greatly missed. And, the laugh lines...well, they're my favorite. The more the merrier, I say. They tell the story of the girl who laughs. And, the tear stains...they tell the story of a girl who loved with abandon and has been moved with compassion. And, the stretch marks...tell the story of five babies born of my womb. And, the freckles tell the story of a girl who splashes freely in the sun and on the golf course and on bike rides with her boys. The gray hairs springing up wildly here and there...the bible calls them my "crown of glory".

And, speaking of finding our beautiful....

Chapter nine is about exercise. Some people are cringing as they read that word. Each year, our work place takes part in Coming Alive, where we have to exercise and record our minutes. My friend Tracy calls it Sudden Death. She hates exercise. But, she loves how it makes her feel. And so do I.

Lysa's mom says "the best kind of exercise is the kind you'll do". I couldn't agree more. And that is exactly what I want to encourage you to do. I actually don't mind exercise. But, I do believe the key to exercise is finding something you enjoy doing.

Some of you might wear the gear and run in marathons. Your exercise might look like this:

Others might look like this:

Yep...that's me dancing to Big Girl You are Beautiful on the Wii Just Dance 2 game. That's what I do when it's rainy and cold outside. When it's nice out, I much prefer to get my exercise in with a walk around the reservoir with James, sometimes a walk on my own and a conversation with the Lord as my feet pound the pavement, a round of golf with the whole family, or a bike ride on my turquoise bike with what I like to call the "mama bottom" seat. (I'll have to share a pic of my bike soon.) Much more comfortable than those skinny little wedgy-giving seats. In the summer, I swim laps in Grandma's pool, with my boys. For the most part, I'm not much of  a runner...no one wants to see that. But, there are plenty of ways to get your exercise on. And plenty of ways to "run the race". The important part is that we get up and move!!

1 Corinthians 9:23-25

 I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.
 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.

For those who would like a bit more interaction, we have started a facebook discussion on the Made to Crave journey. We are hoping others will join in and share their progress, remain accountable to each other, encourage each other, and pray for each other. It will only be a good discussion if  people join in though, so take a minute and pop over. PLEAAAASSSEE! =)

Next week, we will be reading chapters 10, 11, and 12. In the meantime, let's pray for one another and keep running the race.

Calling all Ohio State Buckeye Fans ~ A Chance to Support SGM and Remember Michael "Peanut" Vollmer

                         

Last summer, a precious baby boy named Michael Clifford "Peanut" Vollmer was born to Nancy and Dan. He lived for three days, but his life has touched hundreds of others. This beautiful family was so grateful to receive a Dreams of You Memory Basket from SGM at Zachrich Funeral Home (a local funeral home that SGM frequently works with) they did something that blessed us beyond words. They listed Sufficient Grace as a place for friends and family to donate in memory of Michael. And, about $900 was donated by their friends and family. More than thirty families (and counting) have received Dreams of You products in Michael's name. One mother recently read a posting on our facebook page about the Vollmers and recognized Michael's name from the card on the package she received from Sufficient Grace when her daughter Beatrix went home to heaven...the card she has used as a bookmark in her bible ever since.

Many of us who have said goodbye to our babies long to know that they are remembered...that their names would be known. They were here. They lived on this earth, and they live on in heaven. Micheal Clifford "Peanut" Vollmer's name is known....by those that loved him and his family so dearly, and by those who find comfort in the memory baskets with cards that bear his name.

Their memorial donations have helped us offer comfort and hope to many grieving families. But, these amazing people didn't stop there. I recently had the privilege of meeting and hugging Dan and Nancy, the family that touched my heart and the hearts of so many others. A family that truly knows and demonstrates the meaning of reaching out to comfort others with the comfort they have received. (2 Corinth. 1:3,4)

Now...they are doing even more. They have purchased some Ohio State memorabilia, had them autographed by Archie Griffin himself, and have donated the items to be raffled off at the upcoming SGM Golf Outing. (You do not need to be present to win! We can ship the prize to you if you live in the US.) The proceeds will be split between Sufficient Grace Ministries and the Nathan Michael King SIDS Foundation. You can purchase tickets for the Michael Clifford "Peanut" Raffle online by clicking on the donate button on our Support page. Just list the words Peanut Raffle in the comment field. You can also purchase tickets in person through Tim or Kelly Gerken, Paul Wright, Dan or Nancy Vollmer, and at Floral Art in Napoleon, Ohio. Email us if you have any questions (sufficientgaceministries at gmail dot com). Tickets will be on sale until June 3, 2011. Cost is $5 ea. or 3 for $10. (There is also a third prize of a restaurant gift card.)

                                                                                                                   First Prize

Will you help us reach out to even more grieving hearts in Michael's name?






Second Prize

Thank you to Dan and Nancy for all you are doing to support grieving families and Sufficient Grace Ministries! Much love and continued prayers for you...

SGM Auction Thank You and Our SGM Meeting

Thank you to the following people for generously donating items to the SGM auction held last week on the Caring for Carleigh Facebook page:

Beth Martin of Beach Glass Shop
Katy Larsen of Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Jane Molle of JemSewSoft
Ivy Welch of Crafty Creations by Ivy
Kelly Frank of Kelly Joy Boutique
Caroline Croley
Emily James
Becki Burner of Floral Art
Kelly Gerken
Teresa Brown of Candy Creations
Kristi Bodey
Tutu Mommies
Shannon Amador of Strength and Courage Cards
Anonymous donor
Mattie Wells
Holly S.
Linda Putnam
Nancy Cummings
Holly Nonnemacher
Rebecca Woods
Sara Wendt
Sarah Robbins of Bouncing Baby Bows
Sue Mosquera of My Forever Child
Leigh Ann of LoveLeigh Again
Franchesca Cox of The Flourish Shop
Elissa Peterson of Elissa Peterson Photography
Lynnette Kraft
Abigail Kraft
Camille Grimshaw of Camillion Treasure Beans
April Yodock
Angela Donaldson of Angela Donaldson Photography
Rachel McConathy of Kenzington Kollections

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You are all amazing and we are blown away by your generosity! God is so good. Holly had an original goal of  raising $1,000 for SGM on her online auction. Then, she raised the goal to $2,000 as the item donations came pouring in totalling 146 items! Our God is an awesome God! The auction raised a total of $2053. Many grieving families will be blessed because of the generosity of those who donated and those who bid on the auction items. Holly worked so hard, and we are so thankful for her efforts and her friendship. She has such a beautiful heart. Truly, we have been blessed by great friends like all of you.

This weekend, Holly, Becki, and I had a Sufficient Grace meeting to discuss upcoming SGM fundraiser events. It was great to see Holly, as always...and I got to love on Lainey a bit, too!

That little Lainey is one fast cutie. She had her hands on everything in her grasp, and she was eyeing mommy's lunch! She was such a sweet little pumpkin, and so patient while we chatted away about SGM business. Love those girls...

Becki was hiding behind the camera, as usual!

Love to all...thank you for blessing our socks off....truly, we are humbled and so grateful.

Made for More ~ (If you only read one session of Made to Crave, make it this one!)

Ladies, this section takes us to the crux of the matter. If you only read one session of Made to Crave, make it this one. Chapters Five and Six touch on the heart of it all, not just why we eat, but why we fall short in so  many ways. The very thing that holds us back, and the very key to finding freedom and experiencing victory.

One sentence...

You were made for more than this.

If you get nothing else out of this study...get that. Let that truth permeate your being and soak into your pores. You were made for more than....

Stuffing your face with unhealthy food to cover the pain of all your hurts. To fill the emptiness left behind by people who walked away, to comfort the ache of emptiness, the reality that babies die and loved ones suffer with cancer, to hide from all the ugliness and fears, to cover all the inadequacies.

More than running to the TV to escape for awhile.

More than indulging in gossip or joining in with others who tear down a fellow friend or co-worker.

More than whatever tempts you to stray...whatever makes you less than the woman He created you to be.

Whatever holds you back.

You, beautiful woman, created by God, beloved daughter of the King....You were made for more.

We need to realize and live the truth that our identity is not in every failure, every hurt, every sorrow, every sin that touches our lives. We are not defined by our circumstances, our family, our failures, our past. Our identity lies in being a new creation in Christ Jesus.

If you didn't do this during the study, take a minute and do it now. Put your name in the blank and read these truths from scripture out loud. This is who you are, dear friend:

_______________________, the forgiven child of God. (Romans 3:24)
_______________________, the set free child of God. (Romans 81-2)
_______________________, the accepted child of God. (1 Corinthians 1:2)
_______________________, the holy child of God. (1 Corinthians 1:30)
_______________________, the made-new child of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
_______________________, the loved child of God. (Ephesians 1:4)
_______________________, the close child of God. (Ephesians  2:13)
_______________________, the confident child of God. (Ephesians 3:12)
_______________________, the victorious child of God. (Romans 8:37)

Lysa's quote: "I was made to be set free, holy, new, loved, and confident. Because of this, I can't allow myself to partake in anything that negates my true identity. Be it a relationship in which someone makes me feel less than my true identity or a vicious food cycle that leaves me defeated and imprisoned, I must remember I was made for more."

Knowing who we are is an important key in finding freedom and victory. Next, we look toward our purpose: to know Him better. Another great quote from Lysa on pg. 59: "...growing closer to God has a whole lot less to do with any action we might take and a whole lot more to do with the positioning of our hearts toward Him."

It's a heart issue. Just like our hunger is less about meeting our physical needs and more about nourishing ourselves spiritually. We need a power bigger than ourselves to overcome the temptations and weaknesses we struggle with. The good news is that we have that power living in us, with the Holy Spirit.

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. Galatians 5:16 

We know it...now it's time to live like we know it!!

Please take some time to encourage each other in the comments and visit Kate from Called Out One to read her Made to Crave journey and show her some love. I would love to hear how you're doing. It's so important to pray for and encourage one another. Remember last week, we talked about the importance of accountability. An update on my journey: I lost three pounds this week. And, God is working in my heart as I stop filling myself with food and other stuff and reach for Him. So grateful for some victory!

Updated: Oops...I forgot to include that we will be reading Chapter Seven, Eight and Nine, talking about making peace with our bodies and (everyone's favorite subject) exercise. Good stuff. Tune in next Monday, and share your own getting healthy journey.

My Mother's Ring (Updated to add my new wedding ring and some better pics!)

Tim bought my first mother's ring for me the Christmas after we said goodbye to our only daughters, Faith and Grace. I wanted a piece of jewelry that signified all my children: Timothy and our girls...a January and two Novembers.

Less than two years later, I walked into the jewelry store beside my friend, Ginny. The lady behind the counter was a girl that we went to school with. She knew we had lost our baby girls, and responded with joy that I was there to add another stone to my ring. Assuming that our house was filled with joy, not grief. Assuming that a baby had come to fill my empty arms, she smiled and said,

"Congratulations."

I couldn't speak. I shook my head no, and turned as the tears spilled from my eyes, running from the store. Ginny stayed and told her about our Thomas, who was born in July and lived on this earth for six hours. We would need a ruby added to my ring. The girl's faced turned pale and she apologized profusely.
Now there were four.

I never thought there would be a fifth stone to add.

But, years later...

an unexpected miracle brought me back to the jewelry store.

It was time to add a May stone for the miracle that stayed and filled our house with his zest for life...sweet baby James.

This time, my friend no longer worked at the store and the people behind the counter said they couldn't add a stone to my ring. It was bent a little and thin from being worn. I began to tell them the story. I didn't expect tears that day, but the tears came when they said all they could do was offer me another ring...one that cost more than twice as much as the one I had.

So, for several years, there was no ring complete with the birthstones of my children.

Then, finally on a special occasion I can't remember, Tim and I replaced the ring on a shopping trip. Only, I lost it a few months later before a golf event.

More years passed...and I lamented over the ring that wasn't.

My mother went home to heaven, joining her grandbabies and leaving her mother's ring to her only daughter.

I have been considering for the past four years putting my babies' birthstones on my mom's mother's ring. But, there always seems to be another expense or more pressing need.

Recently, though, my engagement ring broke and I needed some other work done at the jeweler. So, I chose a local store called the Diamond and Gold Outlet. You can bring them your old, broken, used gold pieces you don't want and they will count the value toward your purchase. So, I had them put the stones representing my five children: (two on earth, three in heaven) on my mother's mother's ring, making it my own.

Not only does the ring represent my children, but also my mother.

I feel so blessed to have this precious, perfect gift on my finger representing those most dear to me.

And, an added blessing: The total cost with all the work I was getting done, including a new wedding ring,  was going to be $273.

With my gold jewelry trade-in, it only cost me: $18 !!!

I tried to take a picture, but my camera is not great and the flash lit up the ring too much. So, it's hard to see what it looks like. The important thing is that it's on my finger, complete with five precious stones, representing five precious lives. I love it...and I'm so grateful.

My Wedding Ring

O.K....so a couple people have asked me about my wedding ring. I had a small diamond solitaire on  a thin gold band that Tim gave me when he was just seventeen (the current age of our son...YIKES!). It was modest, but special because he gave it to me. I tend to wear more silver jewelry (or white gold), but I didn't give a lot of thought to ever changing the rings. They were the ones he gave me when we were married, and I don't require a lot of fanciness. Besides, a big old ring would just get in my way!

But when my engagement ring broke recently, I gave some thought to my mother's white gold engagement ring that she had left to me when she passed. I thought if I was going to have to invest in fixing my ring anyway, maybe I would just wear her ring, and get a white gold band to match. I'm a sentimental gal, so I wasn't sure how I felt about wearing a wedding set that wasn't from Tim. But, after talking to him, I felt better. It's just stuff, after all. A ring doesn't make a marriage...that's for sure! And, he was happy for me to have something pretty and new. I chose a white gold wedding band, and the jeweler put a finish on it to match mom's engagement ring.

What did I do with the diamond Tim had given me when he asked me to marry him?

Well the same jeweler who gave me such a great deal is creating a necklace using a heart pendant from one of my mother's necklaces and putting my engagement diamond in the middle of it. That way, it will always be close to my heart. =) I'll show a picture when it's finished. And, I still have my little gold band that Tim placed on my finger seventeen years ago. I will wear it with my mom's set from time to time. I'm not much for following the rules. Mixing gold and silver...that's just how I roll! =)

Both pieces are very special to me...and they encompass all of the people on this earth (and some in heaven) that mean the most to me: Tim, my children, and my mother.

What precious, simple gifts. They are just right. Like my mother, I'd much rather have something that's precious to me than something fancy and expensive.

Treasures in heaven are the ones that matter most, but I'm sure grateful for these sweet reminders on earth as well.

SGM Auction and Made to Crave Session 2 (All in...and We Weren't Meant to Walk Alone)

Reminder: The SGM Auction will be held this week, so make sure you visit and bid on some of the items on the Caring for Carleigh  Facebook Page. You will have to "like" the page in order to be able to leave your bid in the comment section under the picture of the item you wish to bid on. Make sure you keep checking back between April 6-8 in case another person bids on the item you want. Highest bidder wins. Holly's goal is to earn $1,000 or more for Sufficient Grace. Will you help her meet that goal? Spread the word on your blogs and facebook, and don't forget to place your bid on some of the over 100 items available, including a Vera Bradley bag, baby items, handmade items, books, jewelry, and much more. Please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry that reaches out to encourage women and offer comfort to grieving families.
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Now, on to Made to Crave Session 2.
We are covering chapters 2, 3, and 4 this week.

Before I delve into this session, I wanted to ask that those participating would consider going back to the comment section from Made to Crave Session One and read some of the comments from those participating. I was inspired by your raw honesty and transparency. I think it would be a great encouragement if we could make sure that we re-visit the comments on each Made to Crave post and encourage each other in the comment section. I noticed not many are using the blog frog for discussion, so maybe using the comments to encourage each other is a good idea. Accountability is so important...as well as prayer and encouragement. We are not meant to do this alone. And, please remember to pray for each other (and me, too)!

Several of you shared what you weigh last week, and it inspired me. Part of this journey to freedom means setting aside all that we hide behind, laying down our fleshy vanity, being humble. So...here it is.

I started this journey at:

148 pounds

My current weight as of this morning:

142
(according to my scale minus clothes and shoes...the doctor's scale said something different this week, with clothes and shoes...but I'm picking my at home, no clothes, first thing in the morning weight!)

One pound up from last week's weight of 141. There... I'm all in. I'm with you in this. And, I'm ready for freedom.  My goal is to get back to 120 pounds. I was there a few years ago...and I was free. I want to be free again.

I loved Lysa's description of weighing herself each day without anything on...then removing her pony tail and stepping back on the scale. I wondered if she had been peeking in my windows, watching my own morning routine, listening to the thoughts in my head! I could relate to her discouragement...her self-defeating thoughts....her moments of giving into temptation and then just indulging in food, hoping to start again tomorrow.

Lysa talks about replacing our cravings, and these words really hit home:

I had to get honest enough to admit it: I relied on food more than I relied on God. I craved food more than I craved God. Food was my comfort. Food was my reward. Food was my joy. Food was what I turned to in times of stress, sadness, and even in times of happiness. ~ Made to Crave, pg. 29

I love what she did instead, to resist the cravings:

I determined to make God, rather than food, my focus. Each time I craved something I knew wasn't part of my plan I used that craving as a prompt to pray. I craved a lot. So, I found myself praying a lot.
~ Made to Crave pg. 29-30

Lysa talks about the struggle, even to the point of tears, to resist the food she craved. I have been there. It can be painful to feel all the feelings we have stuffed away in the past, reaching to food to relieve stress, to feel comfort. But, her words are true, that each victory she experienced tasted better than the food she craved.

She waited in expectation for God to hear her prayers and deliver her. And, He was faithful.
(Psalm 5:1-3)
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Chapter 3 is all about making a plan and working at it. She talks about how much effort goes into making a beautiful garden. You have to sacrifice, put forth effort, day after day, seed by seed, determined, investing energy and effort...and planning your efforts in advance.

One of the problems she shared is also the cry of my own heart:
I wanted to eat what I wanted, when I wanted, in the quantities I wanted.

I want, I want, I want....yikes. Can you hear the fleshy desire of those words. Blech.

Another important bit of wisdom on page 39:

Getting a plan is the first crucial step; getting a friend to join you is the next.

The Made to Crave study guide I purchased to go along with the book asks the question, what is your reaction to the words "food plan"? Which movie title would best describe your reaction?

Psycho
Leap of Faith
Mission Impossible
Life is Beautiful
High Noon
Do the Right Thing
Les Miserables
Saving Grace
A Time to Kill
Independence Day

Although there have been times in my life when I would have said Psycho or A Time to Kill (because I'll admit I can get a little testy when trying to resist cravings for the sweet yumminess of chocolate and the goodness of some hearty breadsticks or Doritos and Pepsi...yes ma'am), right now I will pick Independence Day...because I'm craving freedom. Saving Grace...because His sufficient grace will get me through each moment. And, a Leap of Faith...because I am trusting Him for victory over this struggle. Not that some of the others may not seep in along the way, but I hope to resist those urges, and expect to...with His help!

Since we have the friend part covered with each other...we need a plan. What food/nutrition plan do you use?

The nutrition plan I have found that works is Weight Watchers. Although, I have not enjoyed the new Weight Watchers plan. So, I am using the tools I used several years ago on the "old" Weight Watchers plan. The philosophy is to lower calories, eat fruits and vegetables, foods that are high in fiber and protein and low in fat and calories, and drink plenty of water. It is important to stick closely to the plan you choose, and next to find someone to walk with you on the journey.

Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3 NLT

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Which brings us to Chapter 4 and the subject of accountability.

We need each other, and we were not meant to walk through this life alone. In fact, we were created to need the Lord...and one another. It's one of the beautiful ways He works!

Two are better off than one, for they can help each  other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NLT

We need a friend...and not just any friend. As Lysa writes, "A friend who will hold you accountable, speak the truth in love, and pray for you."

In her study guide, Lysa shares some powerful statistics on accountability:

The probability of achieving a goal is...
10 percent when you hear an idea
40 percent when you decide you will do it
50 percent when you plan how you will do it
65 percent when you commit to someone else you will do it
95 percent when you have an accountability appointment with the person you've committed to

So...will you be that friend? Will you stand with me...with each other so that we can pray for one another and not be defeated?

I hope so. Together is way better than alone.
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Don't forget to encourage one another in last week's comments if you have time, and share your heart in this week's as well. I will be praying for each of you this week, as we find a plan and stick with it...and I would appreciate your prayers for me, as well. Also, I'm not going to include a Linky yet, unless others are interested in linking up, but Kate from Called Out One is blogging and reading along with us on Mondays, and her posts always bless me. Stop over and read her thoughts and leave her some love in the comments this week, too. If you blog about your Made to Crave journey, please leave a link to your post in the comments...and if you're reading, please visit those posts and leave some words of encouragement.

Next Monday for Session 3, we will be covering Chapters 5 and 6.