Meeting People Where They Are

I have this friend, Lynette, a teeny, tiny, lovely sweet lady who loves delicate things and the quiet, simple beauty of this life. Looking at her tiny frame and sweet smile, you would have no idea, but my Lynette is a prayer warrior.

This morning, we joined with some other praying mama friends of mine to do a prayer walk around one of our local communities. We praised, thanked, confessed, and interceded in prayer to our Father as the gentle breezes blew and the sun shown on our faces. We stopped to talk with the sweet ladies planting beautiful flowers along the way. And, off we went to pray some more...quietly and without fan fare.

No one would have even known that's what we were doing...

I love that. I love how a really big God would choose to work through the one you would least suspect. I love how He chooses the chief among sinners to become a new creation. Love how He brings hope out of the most hopeless of circumstances. I love how He chooses one plagued with stage fright to stand in front of a group of people and sing His praises. I love how He chooses the weak to show His strength and might. Love how He chooses the uneducated to display His wisdom. I love how He chooses a sweet, quiet, little woman to be one of my dearest friends and one of the mightiest prayer warriors I know. Incidentally, one of the other of the mightiest prayer warriors I know is an elderly lady, nearly blind, but sharp as a whip, and quite adept at scripture memorization. She has prayed nearly all of her loved ones into the saving knowledge of Jesus...one by one. Every battle fought for their souls on her feeble, yet mighty, knees. No doubt, she will be praying until her dying breath.

I love how the Lord works, and often marvel at the unlikeliness of it all. Oh how I treasure a good underdog story. (Perhaps that's why I endure the agony of being a Cleveland Browns fan.) And, I think our heavenly Father appreciates a good underdog story as well. After all, it's the story He tells over and over again in the lives of His people.

As we prayed today, and in conversations with a few dear friends, God has been impressing another truth into my heart. He's actually been working on this for awhile...

You have to walk with a person, connect with them, meet them where they are before they will want to hear anything you have to say.

One of the greatest blessings of my life has been to watch my husband as God develops that gift in him. He meets people where they are...talking with them about work, helping them with a project, listening about their ideas, their golf game, talking about guitar...whatever relates to the other person. It isn't a put-on or an act. That's just him. He stops and genuinely cares about what the other person is sharing at that moment. That may be the extent of the conversation...or it may turn into something deeper. But, it's always in a comfortable, easy way. He isn't perfect or flowery in his delivery...but he is always genuine. He has the gift of meeting people where they are.

Showing the love of Jesus is something we do in our everyday lives...as we walk along the way, as we sit down, and rise up. It is part of who we are, just an easy, light smile on our face, joy in our eyes and kind, willing heart to listen and share...to laugh, weep with, or hug. It doesn't need to be some grand display, and often that turns others away. Just be who you are and meet people where they are. God is faithful and able to do the rest. You know I'm not a fan of sayings, but this one sums it up:

Preach the gospel always...and when necessary use words.

Living it speaks so much louder than words ever could.

* I wrote this before reading Kelly's Korner for today. Thought it kind of fit with the subject, so I linked up. Click here to share your Random Acts of Kindness ideas.

Calling All Sonic Lovers

O.K...I've been reading how all my southern bloggy-friends (well, I think of ya'll as friends, whether you actually know I exist, or not!) are lovers of the Sonic. I've never been to a Sonic before. But, when you talk about the icy goodness of the Coke, I admit to drooling a little. I've decided that in the spirit of true summer randomness, I must find out about this Sonic ya'll speak of with such tender fondness.

So, my friend Tracy (my partner in all things random and fun) and I set out to find out where the closest Sonic could be found. How I adore the internet! The answer was just at our fingertips. I'll admit that I was looking forward, with no small about of giddyness to some grand adventure to someplace I've never been before...or at least somewhere outside of Northwest Ohio. Maybe we would even cross the border into Kentucky, with James and Aidan happily playing their DS's on the way. But, no...how could it be? I was somewhat deflated to find that there is a Sonic just 30 miles from us. And, it's been there all along.

Sigh...

So, it will not be too grand of an adventure, but I'm looking forward to it nonetheless.

Here is what I need from you, my dear Sonic-loving friends...(or even those who don't know me, but love Sonic):

What...on this maiden voyage...should I try at the Sonic? What can I not go on living without experiencing? We may be going there as soon as tonight if the baseball games are cancelled, so please let me know this very important information ASAP! If not, we'll be going in the next few days. I promise to give a full report. (Knowing that you will be on the edge of your seats until you hear all about it...haha!)

Update: Looks like we will not be going until Monday due to baseball games and golf tournaments and weekend plans...so keep the Sonic suggestions coming!

SGM Ice Cream Social, Seminars, and Pieces of My Heart

Last Sunday, we held the first annual Sufficient Grace Ministries Ice Cream Social at Harvest Fellowship Church. It was a beautiful, sunny day... a great time for fellowship and ice cream!! Approximately 150 people came to enjoy a picnic-style lunch of hot dogs, baked beans, chips, punch, and ice cream with toppings...yummy! We raised over $700 thanks to the generous giving of our church family and the dear friends who made the time to come and offer their support. We had no idea what to expect for this first attempt. It truly was a leap of faith, but...as always...God is faithful to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ask or imagine. And...His people are pretty cool, too!





Many thanks to Harvest Fellowship...our wonderful church family and our Pastor, whom I adore... to Becki, my partner in crime (ahem...I mean ministry) who did all of the hard work planning, organizing, and "the carrying-out of" this event... Becki's husband, Rob, who grilled 240 hot dogs, Steve and Eulene, who offered their time and food preparation expertise...(and a mean baked bean recipe - thanks Eulene!), and my husband, Tim... who patiently tolerates my scattered chaos, always lends a hand with a humble, willing, hard-working heart, thinks clearly when my brain shuts down from overload, and speaks when I am too humbled to do so and feeling the need to hide behind the ice cream scooper...or whatever else is handy. I really love that man.




Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who supported this event! Not only your generous giving, but also your love and prayers mean more than words can say.

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Yesterday, I presented three seminars at St. Rita's Hospital in Lima, Ohio encouraging hospital staff on the importance of compassionate care and helping bereaved parents to form a lasting, tangible memory of the short time they have with their babies. I have given seminars like this before, and I've shared our story with churches and women's groups, also. Can I just tell you that usually the scenario is an overwhelming spiritual attack the week before the event? I often feel almost crippled by the strength of it, and wonder how on earth I will make myself do this thing I've agreed to do. My own inadequacy stares me in the face and I shrink under it's might. Small...and unable...those are the feelings...along with so many more.

I push through with prayer, and put one foot in front of the other, until I arrive at the destination. And, then...the Holy Spirit meets me there. I am strengthened with a strength that does not come from my own power. He washes over me, lifts my head, straightens my spine, and allows me to soar...as if on eagle's wings. For a brief window of time, I am the person He has created me to be. I am carried, mercifully, in all my inadequate, pathetic lack of glory...and He is glorified. He opens my mouth to tell His story, and to give the most I have of the pieces of my heart to strangers. When I am finished, I am often encouraged and in awe of the grace and faithfulness of my God, emotionally drained...exhausted and plagued with a migraine and an upset stomach from the intensity of it all.

That's how it goes when I tell the story once in a day...

I was about to tell the story three times...in one day...to a staff of nurses, doctors, medical students, chaplains, and social workers.

I'll leave out the details, but this time the attack was mighty, and I was struggling. We had a marathon of events that seemed to be accomplished at the pace of a sprint during the last couple weeks as we were ending the school year (which is also my place of employment where I work one-on-one with special needs students). Between the scheduled events at work for me, the events at school for my own children, baseball and golf tournament season beginning, and the goings-on at Sufficient Grace I felt as my good friend, Brooke, describes...as if I were being spun around in a blender and about to be spit out into summer. Only, I was going to be spit out just in time to do the seminars. And...in the midst of the blender, I needed to prepare.

My son James and I always celebrate the end of the school year and snow days with unabashed glee. And, I'm usually the instigator. On the last day of school, the day before the seminars, I was running to and fro preparing for the seminar and James' baseball game. I'll admit to being quite distracted.

At the end of the day, James said..."Mom, it was the last day of school. And, when I got off the bus, I didn't see 'excited mom'."

No, he saw busy, focused work-mode, distracted, and slightly frazzled mom. =(

I hung my head, and sighed. Then, smiled slightly, "I'm sorry, James. I have one more thing to do, and I promise on Friday, I will be excited mom." We prayed together, and I went back to work on the presentation after tucking him in.

The next morning I rushed to get ready, continued in prayer, punched in the destination on the GPS our son, Timothy purchased so we would no longer get lost (ahem...this is kind of an issue for me), and drove to the hospital just slightly behind schedule but still on time. Due to the fact that I did not listen to the GPS and thought I knew better, I did get lost, and thus arrived later than intended, quite apologetic, feeling the small inadequacy rear it's ugly head, and felt so disappointed that this was the way I would be starting this day. I was gently reminded during my quick, silent prayer, that it wasn't about me. I smoothed my skirt, and set up my computer and other items, preparing to speak, thankful that my lateness afforded a sweet mother who had experienced three losses to share about a support group she started at the hospital. Boy, God's grace is good. And, the GPS story even made for a good ice breaker!

I looked around at the room full of people in front of me and took a breath, as I began to take them on the journey with me. While the words flowed out of my mouth, I was back in that place experiencing once again the yellow ultrasound room where I heard the first dose of bad news about my girls, the cool cloth on my head held by a nurse as I vomited blood and bile, the gentle touch and kind eyes of Dr. Chandler and the courageous compassion of Dr. Marcotte. I watched as they were in that place with me, tears streaming down their faces, heads nodding in understanding. They have walked this path with other mothers. They have seen the grief from the outside, and some have experienced it themselves. Now, they were experiencing it through this mother's eyes.

I poured out my heart, choking back my own tears during a few paragraphs. There is only one way to do this. I could stand there, and stoically tell them what would help, what to say and what not to say...but the only way to truly help them to see the parent's perspective is to take them there with me. And, in order to do that, I must go back to that place. Anything else, they can read in a book...but those words carry weight when you understand exactly how the actions of the caregiver impact the patient. Sometimes you have to walk with a person a little while, before you're ready to hear what they have to say. This is true for other things as well. But, that's another post for another time.

When I was finished, the group showered me with words of encouragement. Many embraced me, sharing a piece of their own journeys and experiences. They have no idea, but many of their words relieved my own areas of weakness. Before I even had a chance to wonder if what I shared was helpful, someone would come up to me and specifically say that it was so helpful. That happened throughout the day. Just as anxiety would start to form in my mind, the very thing I was concerned with would be relieved with someone else's words of encouragement. No doubt...that was not an accident. My Father knows the things I have need of and He answers before I even ask.

When the adrenaline dissipated, exhaustion set in. There were several hours between the first seminar and the second. I went to eat lunch, walked into the mall in my full black suit and heels and walked right back out, visited another hospital, melted a little from the ninety degree heat, called Becki and Lynette, prayed and closed my eyes to rest while sitting in the lobby for a little bit.

The second session was going to be taped for future use. (And, I'm getting a copy to use for Sufficient Grace!!! This is something we've been praying about for awhile. Yay!) I took the podium before a much smaller group. I began the journey once more, feeling slightly less comfortable, but still knowing I was being carried. This group was quiet and left quickly after the presentation.

The third session was shortly after the second. There was a little time, though, to eat the light supper prepared by the hospital (including, to my intense delight, some Cool Ranch Doritos that I couldn't resist!) and to chat with Tamara, the sweet mama I mentioned earlier (who spent the day, weeping and walking with me). Believe it or not, I couldn't finish my Doritos, if that tells you anything about my state by this time of the day. You know, that's saying something!

I was about to learn what it would be like to take this journey three times in one day. A group again filled the room. This time when I opened my mouth to speak, I was even more intensely back in that place than I had been before. It's funny...I wondered if I would be able to do that each time, or if it would grow numb and stale...saying the same thing over and over.

No, the emotion was as fresh as the day it happened...as if it were happening for me all over again, only entwined with the beauty of the grace we've been afforded since that time. All of it ...the pain and brokenness woven into the beautiful, heart-wrenching tapestry of grace and healing. And this time, I could neither hold back my heart nor my tears. It poured forth...everything I have to give...the most sacred pieces of my heart laid bare before these beautiful people. Their tears shed along with mine.

Not only would my heart not remain contained, but neither could my Jesus. I told them, "I hope you don't mind, but I need to share this with you...". Each time prior, I had spoken of God's grace in our story, of course...although much of the focus is on the role of the caregiver and practical advice for the hospital staff during this seminar. But, this time, I couldn't stop myself from sharing the comfort and very real presence of Jesus in the room the day I held my sweet Thomas. I couldn't keep from telling them how God has worked in our marriage, as I shared how men and women grieve differently and it's important to understand and respect that. And, if you're wondering...no...the hospital seminars do not generally include so much of that personal part of our faith and our journey.

When the seminar was over, I wondered if it was O.K. to share all of that. Although, in the moment, I was helpless to stop it. Even as the thought entered my mind, a beautiful, tearful nurse made her way to me and took my hand...looked deeply into my eyes and said, "I want to thank you. Your faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ is what carried you through all of that. And, it really is the only thing that can. It really is the only thing we can give. Thank you for sharing that with us." I felt the Lord whisper to my heart. You have to give them what you have to give...and I am the hope you have to give.

Here's the thing...

I often feel somewhat scattered and struggle with weaknesses, the chief of which is to focus way too much on my own performance as a wife, mom, friend, employee, ministry leader, public speaker, singer, writer...fill-in-the-blank. Time and time again, as my weaknesses are magnified, His glory shines forth and He shows me, faithfully, that His plan will continue to shine forth, regardless of my weakness. All that He needs from me is a willing heart and He is able to make me a vessel to tell His story. Hopefully I'll remember that next time the roaring lion stands before me, making his accusations known.

I have shared much about the emotion and my perspective of the day, but the seminars were well-received and informative for the staff. Following the sharing of my story, I gave a PowerPoint presentation sharing practical ways they can help support families and give opportunities to make a tangible memory. I used many of your suggestions from our blog frog discussion. Thank you all so much for sharing your own experiences. Kathryn...I shared the quote you mentioned about the memories of our nurses, and could tell that really hit home for several of the staff. Many shared that the presentation was very helpful. The chief complaint was that it wasn't long enough!! The staff at St. Rita's was so open to hearing about how they can better support the families in their care. Their hearts of compassion were a blessing to me, and I'm so grateful for the kindness and courage they display everyday as they care for their patients.

Thank you for your prayers...I felt them. And, it was as if many of you were with me. After all, it is my family's story...and it's the Lord's story...but, as you've shared your own journeys... it's your story as well. Thank you for your part in it.

P.S. If you're wondering if "excited mom" made her presence known on Friday, the answer is...YES! Let's just say there was a Slip N Slide involved...lots of deep- belly giggling, and one very sore mama as Saturday dawns!!

Just Popping in Quick to say Hi and Ask for Prayer

There are so many things on my heart to share, but in the frenzy of end-of-the-year...last day of work for me, last day of school for the kids, baseball games and golf tournaments busyness, I only have a few minutes. So, instead...a quick "hello", followed by a "please pray"...

Last Sunday's Ice Cream Social was a success, and we are so grateful and blessed by the generous hearts who came to share the beautiful day with us, and donated to support Sufficient Grace. We have the best church family and friends!! I will post more details about the Ice Cream Social (and a few pics, too!), but for now...just a huge praise to our faithful heavenly Father...and a big Thank You to Becki for all her hard work! There are more people to thank...and I'll be posting more soon!

I'd like to take a minute and ask you to pray for the seminars I will be giving throughout the day tomorrow at St. Rita's in Lima, Ohio. Please pray as I finish preparing... for safe travel, for a focused mind, and that the staff would be encouraged and the Lord would give me the words to say. Praying, too that the presentation would be helpful. Most of all...trying to focus on who the Lord is and seeing His plans and purposes fulfilled.

Thank you...

Dreams of You, Dreaming Big, and How You Can Sponsor a Family

You may have heard of the Dreams of You Memory Books we provide for grieving families who face the loss of a child due to miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death and other childhood illnesses.

You may have even received one of these beautiful books, with an antique leather bound-look binder format so it is easy to add or change the book to match a parent's unique beliefs, tastes, and wishes. It includes places for parents to journal the dreams they had for their baby, their journey of loss and healing, letters to baby, pages to record the baby's statistics, memorial service, baptism, footprints, mementos, etc. Also included are inspirational poems and comforting scripture from the Bible, as well as the author's personal story of loss, grief, hope and healing.

You may have heard how mothers and their older children have found Comfort in a soft, fleece bear. You may have held our Comfort Bear in your own arms as you ached for your sweet baby.

What you may not know, is that Sufficient Grace Ministries provides the Dreams of You Memory Book, Comfort Bears, and other materials FREE OF CHARGE TO ANY PARENT WHO COMES TO US. We do not charge families for our products and services and God has blessed our desire to continue to provide these services for grieving families.

In order to help cover the costs of the growing number of Dreams of You packages we are sending all over the country, we have developed a new sponsorship program. While several local hospitals provide our products for their patients (hospitals pay a suggested donation amount to cover the cost), we would like to get our Dreams of You products into the hands of hospitals all over the country! (O.K., maybe we're dreaming big, but we have a BIG God!) Many larger hospitals would like to offer the products, but lack the funding to make that possible. We have developed a way for those wishing to donate to "sponsor" hospitals, families, or a certain type of product. You can help by sponsoring, if you are able. Another way to help is if you are willing to show the Dreams of You Memory Book to your local hospital, and/or find sponsors in your area.

Please click here for more information about how you can sponsor. And, as always, if you are a grieving parent and would like to receive ANY of our products or services, please just email us and we will get you what you need. Our services and products are FREE to families. We also have a new address for orders, so if you are ordering a product, please email: sgm.shipping@gmail.com.

As we have grown to the point where we have sent Dreams of You packages all over the United States, some to Canada, and even one to Singapore, our needs continue to grow. In order to meet those needs, we are hosting several events for Operation Support Sufficient Grace 2010...our annual fundraiser season. Please prayerfully consider helping to support these events and/or spread the word on your blogs. And...you can also help us spread the word about the Dreams of You Memory Books. We want people to know we are here. We want to reach out to more families. So, please consider sharing here or on your own blog if you have been blessed by a Dreams of You Memory Book...or by Sufficient Grace. And, if you do share, please let us know.

To read more about the story of how the Dreams of You Memory Book and Comfort Bear came to be, please click here. Thank you so much for the continued support and prayers you have poured out on this ministry. You are such a blessing to us and to the families we serve!

Baby Sawyer is Home...and I Could Use Your Help

Just a quick post to say....

BABY SAWYER IS HOME!!!!!!!! He is still recovering and faces many hurdles ahead, but things are going pretty well for sweet Sawyer and his family. I spoke with his mama, my dear friend Nicki, last night. And, they are all so grateful to be home...so thankful for all of the prayers, so grateful to family, friends, and the amazing medical team...and so in awe of the miracle they have been part of, as their son went from frightening circumstances to being home in their arms. He still has some hurdles ahead of him. So, please keep praying. But, by all means...feel free to praise the One who has carried this sweet family and this precious boy...and join me in rejoicing with them and giving God the glory for this gift.

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In other news...there are a lot of events coming up for Sufficient Grace right now. (Please check the Coming Events page to find out how you can pray for these activities and/or offer your support.)

On May 27th, I will be presenting several seminars throughout the day to the staff at St. Rita's Hospital in Lima, Ohio. Please pray as I prepare for this..that God would give me the words...that it would be an encouragement to the staff, that it would be helpful in equipping them to better serve their patients...and that I would be a vessel of His love and grace...and a voice for the mothers who are grieving.

And...actually, I could use your help. If you are a parent who has lost a baby, and would like to offer your wisdom, experience, opinions, etc., please go to my blog frog and join the most recent discussion. I will be sharing about the things that caregivers/hospital staff can do that are helpful...and the things some of us have experienced that were harmful. (So that those things can be avoided.) Also, they are asking for suggestions on how they can make follow-up care less emotionally painful for grieving parents (waiting in the waiting room, communicating on records so that all staff know that there has been a loss, etc.) I have some ideas, but I would really appreciate your input.

Thank you so much!

I Will Carry You - Winners

Congratulations to the following winners of the I Will Carry You Giveaway. I just finished reading it, and it was beautifully-written, and full of hope. I will post more about Angie's book later.

But for now, the winners...according the random-thingy:

Missing You Always
Kristin

And the third book, donated by sweet Crystal in memory of her precious Calvin Phoenix...
Mattie

And...because sweet Kristin said I could pick another winner if she was chosen (she already has a copy), I said a prayer, punched in the random-number-thingy again, and chose:

Tonya

Some of you may have previously sent your address from other items we have shipped to you. But, if not, please email me the address where you would like to have your book sent.

Blessings to all...