Missing Her...

It has been two years since my mother went home to be with Jesus. And I still miss her so. I have her tea sets scattered throughout my house, and some are packed away...just in case I ever have the tea party we always talked about. I still want to pick up the phone and call her. I miss her laugh and her smile. I miss the way she fiercely loved her grandkids. She was their safe place...where they were never judged and always loved. I miss putting the ornaments on the tree with her...shopping at Christmas time. I miss her creative ideas and her enthusiasm for making things with her hands, and her heart.

She would love the way her Comfort Bears have gone all over the country (and even Canada) to fill the empty arms of grieving mothers. She would love the team of ladies who work to keep making her Comfort Bears with a grandmother's love and prayers. She would love to hear "Freshman Tim Gerken on the golf course with the low round of the day..." on the radio. She would love to hear about his homecoming dance and reminisce with me about mine. She would love to watch James making a goal at soccer and listen to him trash talk his brother. And maybe she does see and hear those things from Heaven. Maybe she's smiling right now as she rocks her grandbabies. Maybe Faith, Grace, and Thomas are smiling with her as they watch our family.I'm so grateful she is there with Jesus and my babies, and not struggling here with cancer. There is no pain, no sorrow, and no good-byes for her. But still...I miss her so.


When I Look at You...
Written by Kelly Gerken ~ To: Mom, With Love ~ Christmas 2005

When I Look at you all my eyes can see,
Is the beautiful person God created you to be,
No evidence of struggles from years past,
Only the promise of a love that will last,
A love that scaled the bounds of Heaven and Earth,
To come to you on the night of His lowly birth.

You are the Mother who sang my lullabies,
Who comforted my newborn cries,
Who loved me through my ugly years,
And comforted my grown-up fears.

Spirited, Talented, Noble, and True,
You are the woman others admire.
With regal strength you faced adversity,
While you waited so long for the love you desire.

As strong as you are, and as hard as you fought,
It really was the Savior's love you sought.
Until you asked, He waited by your side.
How He ached to comfort you all those nights you cried.
When you were weak, He carried you.
When you prayed, He heard you.
Although you felt alone, He never left you.

Then one day, you took His waiting hand.
Finally, you understand.
The perfect love you searched for,
Was with you all along.
He knows you...He made you...He loves you.
There never was a love so strong.
Every tear of yours He holds close to His heart,
Every moment, He shares a part.

When He looks at you, all His eyes can see,
Is the person He created you to be,
The precious things that make you who you are,
With one act of love, He erased pain's scars.
You are the woman He died for,
So He could be the Savior you live for.

When I look at you all my eyes can see,
Is the person God created you to be,
No evidence of struggles from years past,
Only the promise of a love that will last.
A love that scaled the bounds of Heaven and Earth,
To give you a glorious second birth.