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Please forgive this post. I am fighting a sinus infection and coming to you tonight with a heavy heart. I will do a bare minimum post tonight. Feel free to link up your own post if you like. To read more about the Threads of Hope Study, click here.
This week, we are talking about the stage of grief often referred to as busyness. It is a time when you may desire to feel better, to return to the things of life, to delve into something that feels good and maybe distracts from the cloud of sorrow that has hovered overhead.
What are some of the things you did initially to help yourself feel better?
It was a very long time ago. And, I really don't remember. I watched movies with Timothy and spent a lot of time going places with my friend Ginny and our kids. While many begin a worthwhile project in memory of their child, or start a new hobby, I don't recall doing any of that. We didn't start Sufficient Grace until eight years after Faith and Grace went home to heaven. So, I don't think that was a result of the busy season of grief.
After mom passed away, I started blogging and worked more fervently in the ministry. I'm not sure if that is related to her passing or the passion God has placed on my heart...or both.
Another question asks about people trying to make you move on with your grief. People did that...mostly my mom, who wanted me to get better. I imagine it hurt to watch her daughter hurt and not be able to fix it. I don't really want to talk about the specifics...it was a long time ago. And, perspective changes with time.
Luke 10:38-42 tells us about Mary and Martha. Martha was busy with much serving...worried about many things. And Mary chose the "one thing that is needed"....to sit at the feet of Jesus.
Psalm 46:10 admonishes us to "be still and know that He is God"...
I guess the message there is that all the running we do to fill our empty places with other things does little to satisfy our true needs. It won't fully comfort or heal our hurts. At the same time, I believe there is a value to the season of busyness we find in grief. Maybe sometimes we are running away from the hurt...but maybe in other instances, we are working through the pain, pouring it out in our gardening, writing, creating, singing, working. There is a time for that...but there is also a time for stillness. A time to be still and sit at the feet of Jesus, knowing that He is the only one who can truly heal.
There is a section that talks about parenting during grief. I remember sometimes in my sorrow, struggling to feel joy...wondering what kind of a mother laughs and enjoys life when her babies aren't here. And, one day, I looked down at my sweet toddler pulling on my hand to play...and wondered, "What kind of a mother doesn't feel joy and live life for the one who is here asking her to play?"
I realize that statement does little to comfort the mother who has lost her only child. But, I will say that even in that instance...you are still just as much a mother with a child who lives on in heaven. And, you are just as free to feel joy and live life again...knowing that although your baby is not with you...she lives on in heaven's glory. So, when the time comes...when laughter graces your lips once more...let it come. And don't feel guilty.
Another part talks about having more children....I'll let you all post what you wish about that. Refer to previous Walking With You posts on the right sidebar for more on this subject.
Genesis 15 and 16 tell the story of Abraham and Sarah...
God promised Abraham a son. When He took "too long" to answer, Sarah took matters into her own hands, asking her maidservant to carry her husband's child. She found a whole heap of trouble with her fateful choice...trouble that incidentally plaques our world today. The lesson is that she should have waited on the Lord...trusting in His faithfulness. God did send her and Abraham a son named Isaac...but that's another story.
I take matters into my own hands often...using other things to find comfort instead of going to the Lord. It is a constant lesson He is working on and unfolding in my life.
The next section shares that sometimes we cry out for a rescue from our circumstances instead of trusting in God and His promises no matter what the outcome. It's hard not to ask God to rescue us...and I think it's O.K. to ask Him as long as we do so, while still trusting Him no matter what the outcome.
What promises did you make to God and/or yourself?
Don't remember making promises to either of us...
What promises has God made to you?
Now we're talking...that's what matters...His promises to us.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.
~Is. 43:2
Notice that He doesn't promise that you'll never walk through the waters...He just promises that when you do, they will not overflow you. And when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned.
Why?
Because He walks with you...
Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also, And where I go you know, and the way you know. ~ John 14:1-4
There are more beautiful verses and promise listed in the lesson. But, that's all I can do tonight. If you'd like to study them out yourself, I encourage you to do so. There is always encouragement in His Word.
