Update and Bible Study Reminder

I just wanted to thank everyone who is praying for my friend, Dinah. She is now out of the hospital, and living life...soaking in every moment with her family. She has chosen to place her trust in the Lord, who numbers our days, and holds our very next breath. She has been out and about, recovering from Monday's difficulties quite miraculously. This time is a gift, and I'm so grateful for her determined, amazing spirit. We are continuing to pray for her and her family...and rejoicing with them for this gift of time...for another day. My mother used to love the saying, "I'm not a person dying from cancer...I'm a person living with cancer." That sounds about right....the living part.

And...also a quick reminder...

Tomorrow, we will be posting on Chapter One of the Lies and Truth Bible Study. Hope you are able to join us. If you do not have a book, and still wish to join in, there will be an opportunity to get one on tomorrow's post. I purchased three extras to give to those who need one. Just leave a request on tomorrow's post to enter. Please be ready to share your thoughts. I'm so excited about this study and hope we can all be an encouragement to one another!




Also, I posted a new/old post on the WWY blog that may be an encouragement to those walking through loss...especially those new to grief.

Beauty from Ashes ~ Grief's Extraordinary Journey

This is a post from the early days of The Beauty of Sufficient Grace blog on the subject of grief. I thought it may be helpful to those who are new to grief, and wanted to share it here....

The following text was originally published in The Women's Edge Newsletter by Sufficient Grace Ministries for Women, Inc. and written by Kelly Gerken.


He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted...To comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion-To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. - Isaiah 61:1b-3


As Christians, we have the peace of knowing that because Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins, and rose again, that we will never taste death. We will have eternal life in heaven with Him. What a blessed assurance! Unfortunately, we still live in a world that faces death and loss everyday. And, although there is the wonderful promise of heaven, those of us who remain on this Earth still must grieve the losses of those we love (even if we are just separated for a short time.).

There are stages of grief that most people go through: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Others describe numbness, disorganization, and reorganization. Each individual is unique in their grief . A variety of responses are "normal" and can be expected, such as : anger, resentment, pain, sorrow, bitterness, emptiness, numbness, exhaustion, apathy, depression, and even some joy as you remember your loved one, peace as you think of your loved one in heaven with Jesus. There are so many feelings that come at will and even when the overwhelming sorrow has passed and a new form of "normalcy" has returned, you may out of no where, when you least expect it, feel grief's gripping waves overtake you once more.

Walking the journey of grief is an extraordinary test of our faith, and our will. Grief is a tumultuous sea, a relentless roller coaster that we cannot control or escape. The pain often comes in great waves, and tosses us about in a "sea of grief", so powerful that we may feel as if we are drowning. It is important to realize that it takes much time to heal and mourn. Unfortunately, there is no fast forward button for grief. So go gently. Be patient with yourself and your grief. Even when we know that our loved one is in heaven, we rejoice for our loved one, but we cry for ourselves. Our tears are for those of us who are left on this earth to ache for them, to miss and long for their physical presence, as we face the emptiness of walking through our days without the one we love. While we have great hope in Jesus and the amazing promise of Heaven, we acknowledge that there is a time to grieve, and we must take the time we need to do so.

The hope that we have as Christians is that we don't have to drown alone in our sea of grief. Our heavenly Father is able and willing to carry us when we cannot walk through the difficult journeys of this life ourselves. All that we can do is cling to Him, believing His promises. Some days we may not even have the strength to cling to Jesus, and in those moments, He will hold on to us because He is merciful and loving, full of grace and truth and comfort. He promises to never leave us nor forsake us. We have a great opportunity in the despair of grief to ask ourselves if we really believe His promises. When the waves of doubt come crashing in over our head, we must remember who our Lord is and what He has already done for us, in us, and through us. We can search His word and find hope and peace. We can look back on our own lives and see evidence of His hand gently leading and guiding our lives.

How do we face the task of walking through our days, passing the ordinary time, as the world around us goes about the business of life, while our world has shattered into a million pieces? The best advice I have heard comes form Elizabeth Elliott, who has experience great loss in her life. She says, "Just do the next thing.". Maybe the next thing is as simple as getting out of bed, putting one foot in front of the other, or just brushing your teeth. Sometimes there is great comfort in just the ordinary small, one step at a time pace of life that can carry you through to the next day. We can take comfort in knowing that God's mercies are new every morning and great is His faithfulness. Slowly, one baby step at a time toward normalcy, we will see the promise of a new day, a light at the end of the tunnel of grief. With time, those who grieve will heal and joy will be restored..

Taking the time to remember our loved one is an important and precious part of the grieving process. Some find comfort in journaling, creating a memory book of pictures and memories of the moments that make up our lives together. Sometimes it's the simple everyday memories that mean the most- a smile, a touch, a hug, a laugh, a smell. In the case of losing a baby or a child whose life was cut short, we not only feel the empty loss of the person, but also of all the dreams we hold for that precious life that ended so suddenly.

The old saying "time heals all wounds" has some truth to it, but I believe what is really happening in that time is that God is working in us to heal and restore us.. You may have heard the analogy that we cannot see the wind, but we see the evidence that wind exists as it blows the leaves on the trees. We can feel the wind on our face and hear the sound of it blowing past. I think God works in those invisible ways. We cannot see Him, but we see the evidence of His work in our lives. We feel the comfort of His Presence.

My friend Dinah gives a great analogy of how God mysteriously works. She likens it to the changing of the seasons. In the autumn the leaves change colors. Often though it is so gradual, so subtle that we don't realize it fully until one day the tress are orange, yellow, red and brown instead of green. In the same way as winter approached, the leaves fall from the tress. One day, we notice that the leaves are gone. We know they must have been falling for some time, but it was so subtle and gradual that we hardly noticed, until, one day when they were all gone and the land was stark and bare. When spring comes, everything brings forth new life. What once was dead is alive again. And one day it happens. You wake up and the leaves have returned once more - green and shiny and new. You can't point to a time when they began to bloom, exactly. You may have seen a bud or two. But it seems that it is sudden. In reality it was happening all the time, subtle, gradual, unseen, changing and restoring life. That is the best illustration I have heard of the way the Holy Spirit works in us to heal and restore. How subtly God works in us to change us until one day what once was, is no more. One day , we are no longer struggling. We have overcome what once held us captive, be it bitterness, pain, grief, or sin. God had been healing us all along, working while we struggled. He will take the tatters ashes of the broken hearts and made them into something beautiful ... God will use every tear, every moment of brokenness to make beauty from ashes to heal our pain and restore our joy.

~ Taken from the Dreams of You Memory Book written by Kelly Gerken and published by Sufficient Grace Ministries for Women, Inc. Copyright 2004-2008

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:A time to be born and a time to die...A time to weep and a time to laugh...A time to mourn and a time to dance...

Shaken

Tonight I'm feeling a little shaken.

I have been purposing in my heart to make some changes. To run toward the Lord, to cling to Him, not to seek comfort in the things of this world, or my stinky onion layers. I have been desiring life and joy...determined, focused, excited about the Lies and Truth Bible Study...ready for a new year, a new adventure...excited to see what the Lord has in store for our family and Sufficient Grace Ministries in 2011. I've been having a grand time, getting my groove on with the Just Dance 2 game on our Wii. Dancing until I am out of breath, dripping with sweat, and laughing hysterically at myself. Good stuff.

The thing is, we are not in charge. We never know what is waiting around the corner. We may think we are going to get our dance on and wallow in a season of joy, reaping a harvest of the fruit that comes from sowing our tears during the seasons of sorrow.

We think we are ready for one thing.

And, something entirely different punches us square in the face shattering our plans.

I have shared before that watching my mother suffer and die from cancer was a struggle unlike any other in my life. It changed me...for the rest of my time on this Earth. Although I have leaned on the Lord, and felt His comfort and strength. I miss her daily...yet even in my missing, His grace is sufficient for me. I dream my dreams of longing for her...some ending bitterly. I experience her days of suffering like the flashes of a veteran returning from war. And...still His grace is sufficient for me.

Paul speaks in Corinthians of his thorn in the flesh. It was something that wasn't taken from him...something he struggled with all his days on this earth. Many of us have thorns in the flesh...illness, pain, sorrow, grief, loneliness, depression, physical and/or mental disabilities. We have imperfections, flaws, quirks. Call them what you want.

This afternoon, I heard that one of my dearest friends who has been battling cancer was taken to the hospital. She has endured radiation, chemotherapy, all sorts of procedures and medicines, and other forms of torture to fight the cancer in her lungs and brain and perhaps other places in her body over the past couple years.

This woman taught me how to be a wife, with her sweet, snarky way of telling me how it is. With her straight-talking ways, she drilled into my young, selfish, raised-in-a-household-where-women-were-in-authority mind the importance of honoring my husband and caring for my home...and training up Godly young men. She walked with me through the deaths of my twin daughters, Faith and Grace...and later my son, Thomas. She sat beside us as her husband delivered Thomas' eulogy under the blue sky with big, fluffy white clouds while the sun shone on our grief-stricken faces. One of a handful of people whose eyes looked upon our Thomas, she saw and appreciated his beauty. Her house was always the best place to have parties...the best food and fellowship. Her special gift has been making her home a haven for all who entered. She can make the best apple pie on God's green earth. She prays fiercely for everyone in her life...no doubt her prayers helped keep my marriage together through the toughest years. She loves and "gets" teenagers...and they love her right back. When in good health, she visited and encouraged, and genuinely loved those in prison as she helped deliver the gospel to them. Her words are part of the story...our story...shared in the Dreams of You Memory Book. Dinah and I are always saying..."The most beautiful gifts in this life emerge from some of the most difficult suffering. It's in the hard stuff that beauty is born." Saying it is much different than walking it.

She is my second mom. And, like my first mom...cancer has stolen much from her. She has toughed it out...much like she toughed out everything else this life has dealt her so far...with a perfect blend of grit and grace. I love her dearly.

And...tonight, she is laying in a hospital bed.

The outcome is uncertain, for now, as far as the condition of her physical body and mind. She has survived much more than doctors expected. And, we serve a God who makes all things possible.

I am trying not to look with my eyes....

Trying not to remember the flashes of the moments I watched cancer steal my own mother's mind and body...

Praying for my beautiful friend, Dinah, and her beautiful family.

Trusting that the same God who carried my mother and I through those days...will carry Dinah and her family in these days. Knowing that He is faithful.

When my mother was in the hospice center, Dinah sent me these verses:
Even to your old age, I am He,
And even to gray hairs I will carry you!
I have made, and I will bear;
Even I will carry, and will deliver you.
~ Isaiah 46:4

Verses I whispered to my mother as she longed for reassurance of His promises in the last moments of her life...

Tonight, I am shaken...

But my God is steadfast and sure. He is not moved...

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed... ~ 2 Corinth. 4:7-9

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. ~ 2 Corinthians 4:16-20


When my world is shaking, heaven stands...when my heart is breaking, I never leave Your hands...
~JJ Heller




Please pray...

The Lies Women Believe...How it all Began (Intro.)

For this first installment of the Lies Women Believe And the Truth that Sets Them Free Bible Study, we will be covering the introduction and prologue found on pages 15-28. Before we begin, I hope you will keep this study and all who are participating in prayer. The Truth is a powerful thing, and the Deceiver does not want us to find freedom in the truth of God's word. I'll share a little secret with you. Almost every time I post something spiritual on this blog or speak publicly about what God has done, I am attacked spiritually in that area of my life. (The week I shared about my hormonal struggle, I was a basket case of emotion, crying in public...just a complete puddle!) So, know going in...some of these truths may be difficult to hear and it may be even more difficult to take the necessary steps to seek freedom in those areas in which we struggle. Praying for each other is key. There are some strongholds that will not come down without focused, intentional prayer! On our own, we are powerless against a fierce enemy and a weak flesh, but with the Holy Spirit, we can overcome our weaknesses, find victory over our failures, restoration in the brokenness, and healing for our wounds. God is able! Freedom is waiting for us, freedom from so many of the bondages that hold us back.

Let's get started...

I'll begin by sharing some of the points that spoke to me, and I hope you will share yours as well. I want it to be easy to participate, so I'll include a Linky if you want to do a post about this topic and link here...or you may feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section of this post...or, we can have further discussion on the blog frog discussion on the right sidebar. (We'll start the blog frog discussions next week when we delve into actual topics. This week is just intro. stuff.) That way we can have a conversation-type discussion that all can participate in. Whatever makes it easiest for you to join in....we like grace here, as you can see!

Nancy takes us on a journey to the Garden of Eden, where the deception began....the birthplace of our battle with sin, death, and all that goes along with it. Oh, how God meant something different for us. It first struck me so powerfully when I visited The Creation Museum with James and our church family last spring...the beauty that God meant for His people and for all of creation. And the devastating destruction that ensued from the Fall.

Flash to today...thousands of years later. The same lies stealing our energy...our joy...our freedom. Women walking around...or running around in many cases...with a "soul sickness". Full schedules, but an emptiness in our hearts. Busy, busy, busy...but with distracted hearts and minds. Some of the adjectives in the introduction hit the nail on the head...for me and for many of my friends in real life and blog land.

frazzled
exhausted
defeated
confused
depressed
ashamed
burned-out
overwhelmed
discouraged
fearful
lonely
insecure

The list goes on...

Nancy talks about bondage...about not being free. The bondage faced, not just by those following the "world's" formula for success...but Christians as well. Women praying beside you at a prayer group, sitting in the church pew lifting their voices in worship, standing behind a podium sharing their testimony. These are the struggles we don't talk about...the struggles behind our smiles and nods. Bondage to our past....our sins and failures...the need for the approval of others...unhealthy attitudes in relation to food.

None of it is what God intended for us.

Jesus said, "I am come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." John 10:10

Here are some of the adjectives He wants for our lives:

free
gracious
loving
confident
contented
stable
joyous
peaceful
radiant

Nancy shares the root of our struggles is that we have been lied to...deceived. So, the answer...the key to freedom lies in dispelling the deception with the truth...shining light in the dark places. That may mean we have to walk in and acknowledge some of those dark places...even if just to ourselves. Sometimes that is really tough. But, when Nancy talks about "believing and acting on the Truth (as) our means to freedom - not just survival, not escape  - but true, glorious freedom, in the midst of this fallen, corrupt, hurting world" I find myself saying...I want that.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves
be burdened again with the yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1

I have been set free...and, in some areas, I have allowed myself to become burdened again with the yoke of slavery. The standing firm part seems to be the key. We have to resist the temptation to allow what Jesus has set us free from to creep back into our lives and take over again. As we discuss each "lie", I will share more in depth some of the areas I struggle with, and I hope we can share, encourage, and pray for each other in the coming weeks.

In the prologue, Nancy takes us back to the garden...and we see Eve's heart. I love how she becomes real to us in this book...a woman with the same longings...the same feelings that we have today. There is a reason Satan uses the same lies He used thousands of years ago, ladies. It's because they still work. Our world may look much different, and move at a faster pace. But, many things...the core things underneath it all, in the depths of our hearts and souls...they haven't changed. We may want to tell ourselves how much more intelligent and evolved we are as a society. We can say it if we want, I suppose, but it's really not true. Not in the eternal things that truly matter. In those areas...our struggles are no different than those Adam and Eve faced in the garden.

This study from Nancy Leigh DeMoss's book, Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free, is going to be revealing and stripping...and hopefully liberating and healing. I'm really looking forward to it, and hope you'll join in with us. I'll include a linky if you have something to post on this week's topic, but if not that's o.k. You are always welcome to share your heart in the comments section. Since this is just an intro., we will wait until next week to add a discussion to the blog frog. If you need a book, they are available at your local Christian bookstore, http://www.cbd.com/, Amazon, your local library, or let us know if you are unable to get one. I have ordered a couple extra copies and we will gladly mail you one. This is a book/study you do not want to miss, ladies. It is truly worth your time...and believe me, I know how fleeting and valuable time is for a busy woman!

Next week (January 10th), we will be covering Chapter One - Truth or Consequences. Week Three (January 17th) we will begin to get into the nitty gritty with Chapter Two - Lies Women Believe...About God.

New Walking With You Post

Just wanted to share that there is a new Walking With You post up. Click on over to read and share your thoughts.

Also...the Sufficient Grace Ministries Coming Events Page has been updated. Click over to see what's coming up. Please pray for upcoming SGM events.
And...just for your information, I plan to spend the rest of my day nestled in my Browns Snuggie (actually called The Huddler...but they're all snuggies to me) watching football, snacking on yummy food, and hanging out with my boys. The bigs and the little.

Happy New Year!

Announcing a New Women's Bible Study, Christmas, and How Are You Doing?

As we settle in to a New Year, I just want to share how grateful I am for this community of women and the friendships we have come to share in this blog world. I know the Christmas season can be a difficult one for many, and I hope that there were some moments of comfort and peace for each of you this year.

To kick off the year with a fresh start, we will be doing a bible study on Nancy Leigh Demoss's book, Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free. It is one of my favorites, and I'm so excited to delve into it in the coming weeks. I hope many of you will be able to join in, as well....even if just to read along and share your heart as you feel led.

This book is not specifically about grief, but it does address many of the areas we struggle with as women. So, I think it will be helpful...whatever you are facing. We will not be doing a weekly Walking With You, as I will be doing the study on The Beauty of Sufficient Grace blog, beginning Monday, January 3rd, and continuing each Monday after for several weeks. You can tune in there to participate and/or read along.

In an effort to keep in touch and share what's on our hearts, though...I would love to hear how you are doing...how this Christmas was for you and your family...what prayer requests you have...what's on your heart for the coming year. Please share in the comments of this post...or leave a link to a blog post you may wish to share, and I'll get over to visit.

My Christmas was busy, as always! We usually have what I call a Marathon of Christmas celebrations over the course of a few days. This year was no exception. In the frenzy, I try to grasp moments of peace and reflection as I think of the reason for all of the celebration...the gift of our Savior. There were moment's like that...standing at the candlelight service, listening to my husband's guitar and the voices of our church family blending with mine as we sang Silent Night. And there were moments of laughter with family and friends...good food, fun presents.

There were also, moments of missing...as there always are. The time after the children open their presents on Christmas morning...when I would normally call my mother to give her my recap of the morning and chat with her while cooking Christmas dinner to prepare for the evening celebration at my house. I ache for her with a fresh longing each year, wishing desperately to hear her voice. I dreamed that I was talking to her on the phone. But, the dream ended so quickly. Times when bittersweet memories wash over me, as I hung ornaments on the tree in memory of Faith, Grace, and Thomas and my mother's ornaments. Reminders that while we celebrate here, there are some missing from our celebration...ones we love who celebrate in heaven.

Angie Smith calls it The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy....and rightly so. That's exactly what this life is. A dance of grief and joy, interwoven into the tapestry of our lives. They are not completely separate...one from the other. But, they dance together in the moments we walk through. They dance together, and we must find a way to dance along with them. I don't claim to have the answer to that...and truthfully, I'm too clumsy to try and learn the perfect steps, and, therefore, ill-equipped to teach them. I prefer to take my Savior's hand, and follow His lead...knowing that the best I can hope for is to be carried along life's dance in His loving arms.

Oh...I almost forgot...there was one special moment I wanted to share. One that was sacred and touching. Tim and I received a precious gift from his grandmother this Christmas. It had three sweet baby angels on the sides of a lovely bowl. It was a gift in memory of our three babies in heaven. What made it even more precious...more meaningful than I can even convey...was that it is the first time our babies were remembered at Christmas on that side of his family...the first time in fourteen years. We received it with tears in our eyes...touched beyond words to know that our Faith, Grace, and Thomas were acknowledged and remembered. I won't lie...it touched places in my heart that are so tender, I prefer to keep them covered with layers of protection. But, it was good. Good to have that place of tenderness touched. Good to know they were remembered. Good to see God's grace washing over all of us...gently healing deep wounds, reminding us that He sees...that he values each life...that we are all precious in His sight.

Please know you are in our hearts and in our prayers as you continue this process of healing, missing your sweet baby and other loved ones, and take steps into  a New Year...

Love to all...

My Necklace and Lies Women Believe Study Info.

While stopping by the post office this afternoon to mail some much delayed Sufficient Grace shipments, I was finally able to check our P.O. Box for the first time since the Christmas Marathon of 2010 ensued. And, waiting for me was a lovely gift from Sue (My Forever Child). A couple months ago, I won a $100 gift certificate on her blog, and chose to get a necklace with the names of my children engraved on the front and their birthdays on the back. I have waited years to have a piece of jewelry in memory of my sweet babies in heaven, as well as to honor my boys who are with me. The necklace is absolutely beautiful and perfect. My sad photography skills do not do it justice, but I so wanted to show it off here. And also wanted to thank Sue for all that she does for grieving families. Her jewelry is beautiful...the service she provides is amazing...and she is generous to so many. In addition to the gorgeous necklace now adorning my neck, she also donated many charms to be added to our Dreams of You baskets. Thank you, thank you, thank you Sue...you are amazing!

I've shared in the past that I'm not a big New Year's Resolution maker. That being said, it seems that I do find myself reflecting on the past year and looking ahead to a fresh start in 2011, especially with regard to some of the areas in my life where I am weak. I won't be making any grand promises this year. But, I would like to work toward improvements in the areas where I fall short. The difference is, I will rely on the strength and daily measure of sufficient grace granted me by my heavenly Father rather than on my own will power (which is quite minuscule, I can assure you!).

One commitment I would like to make is to focus more time and consistency on my devotion and prayer time. I have felt for awhile that God is really calling me to "cast off the shackles" and let go of the "weight of sin that so easily ensnares" me...to be truly free...letting go of the things holding me back from being the woman I am called to be in Him.

That is why...even though bible studies have not had the best response on the blog...as we often begin with enthusiasm and then fizzle out when the demands of our days seep in...I have decided to re-read one of my favorite women's bible study books by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and share/reflect about it here on our blog every Monday beginning January 3rd.

We will be doing the book, Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free. Oh, how I am longing to delve into some truth and allow it to soak in, dispel the deception, and set me free. And, I am hoping at least a few of you will join me. You can order the book at CBD, or check it out at your local library. Or, if you need a copy and sincerely wish to join us, let me know and Sufficient Grace will send you one. We want to encourage all women...not just those who are grieving the loss of a child. So...all are welcome to join us. I'm not sure if I will just post and then we can discuss it here...or if we should post a Linky and then you can post on your blog and link here. What do you think? I want to keep it as simple as possible so that many can participate.

Praying that you will have a blessed New Year as we look forward to what the Lord has in store for us in 2011...