Woman Feelings

God made us lovely and soft, gentle, nurturing, with hearts of compassion, the gift of empathy, the ability to juggle several tasks, with spirits of resiliency, and maybe a hint of nesting.

We are women...and He made us to worship Him in spirit and in truth, to be a help mate to our husbands, a mother to our children, the keepers of our home, to serve as loyal friends, to reach out in love and compassion to those around us. The woman in Proverbs 31 is a beautiful example of God's desire for the life of a woman and a testament to her abilities.

Like all things in this imperfect, fallen world we are living in, however, the gentle heart of compassion and other woman feelings can be used as a stumbling block or even a tool of destruction in our lives. I'll admit, I'm one of those women with a whole lot of feelings. I think it comes from having a soft heart, and it can be a great gift. In fact, I'll go so far as to say, that I believe women should embrace their feelings and go with it a lot of the time. If you cry with someone who is hurting....you are being an example of one who "weeps with those who weep". If you love to laugh and have a heart full of joy, then you are "rejoicing with those who rejoice". If you are passionate, there are so many wonderful, biblical truths where that passion could be channeled. It is good to stand in the gap, passionately praying for your family, fighting for your family, standing for what is right and good. I am sort of the Tazmanian devil of woman feelings....I laugh, cry, feel passionate, and a whole lot of other things. It can be a blessing...and it can be a curse. I'm all about embracing the emotions....all of them. But, it's important that we women keep those emotions in check, rather than allowing them to rule over us.

Let's face it...those same wonderful feelings, can also be used for great harm. When we are driven by feelings alone, there is a potential for misunderstanding, stealing of joy, and hurtfulness...for us and for those we love. The same emotions God meant to be used for loveliness can cause us to sulk and dwell on our hurt feelings, to read way too much into the words or intentions of another, to react with protective rage when our loved ones are "attacked", to release our mama-bear claws...leaving behind all reason, to shout at our husbands and children over things that are so not shout-worthy, to cry over things that don't really deserve our tears, to make rash decisions not based on wisdom...using anything but a sound mind.


And, once a month....


Before I even begin talking about this, I just want to ask you to keep your claws in. I know that mentioning hormones makes many women feel defensive. But, can we be honest with ourselves...and admit that it's a battle for many of us....a battle we face once a month? If you're anything like me, it's a battle that most of the time takes me by surprise. I wanted to talk about this, because it's actually been an increasing struggle for me. I like to think that I can handle things, and that I can pray about those things that I can't handle. (Which is incidentally an incorrect assumption....because I really need the Lord for every jot and tittle of life....and shouldn't assume I can handle anything on my own. So, perhaps you shouldn't listen to me at all!)

Biblically-speaking, we should cast all of our cares unto the Lord. In that respect, it seems that even our battle with emotions and hormones should be taken to Him in prayer. I do that. And, sometimes....I still battle. Then...I struggle, wondering why this issue is not under control. I expect myself to be able to exercise self control, but then I wonder. Sometimes knowing what should be done doesn't mean it's easy to do it.

Once a month, I have a week that includes unexplained, powerful, and seemingly justifiable woman rage, followed by an ocean of equally powerful and seemingly justifiable tears and waves of strong emotion. I imagine that you dislike the hormonal labels, excuses, and innuendo about monthly hormones as much as I do. No woman wants to have every idea or feeling she has dismissed as a hormonally-charged whim. But, if I am honest with myself, there is sometimes a surge of emotion that drives a reaction that does not match the situation. I hate to admit that I struggle on occasion to keep those feelings in check. Before I realize what's happening, I could bark orders to my children, lose patience, raise my voice, or collapse into a puddle of tears over something not worth such a strong reaction.

I do not love that about being a woman. It is humbling and frustrating, terribly inconvenient and unpleasant for all involved. Strangely, for me, recognition does seem to help and often even diffuses the tumultuous storm of emotion. You would think that I would realize what is happening, given the fact that it comes on a schedule. But, more often than not, I am taken by surprise....swept into the wave of emotion...and convinced that I really am this angry that......fill in the blank. Or, I really am this upset. Emotions that strong can be paralyzing. Much the same as men battle...well, the things men battle...hormones and emotion truly ARE valid battles for women. When I step back for a moment, or when someone I love gently reminds me to step back, clarity seeps in to my emotion-driven-temporary-insanity and I realize that I am not that upset at whatever has transpired. My battle is within.

Lest you picture this crazy woman running loose, making decisions based on emotion, here are a couple truths. I have these emotions, but I don't dwell in a place where they are allowed to rule me. I stumble, and once a month I may even succumb before I realize what's behind an unreasonable reaction from me. If you are not someone very close to me...such as my husband, children, or a couple close friends...you would never know that I am struggling. God has blessed me with a husband who is patient, firm, wise, and reasonable. He keeps life light when it gets too heavy, and knows how to gently remind me to keep things in perspective. He knows me well, which is why I suppose, he sticks around. He knows the storms come and go. He knows, even in my moments of ugly, that I will be lovely again.

I'm grateful for all the grace...and continue to pray as I muddle through. I have a feeling this battle is shared by others, and would love to pray for you, too. Feel free to share what is on your heart about this subject we ladies struggle with, but rarely discuss.