Lessons in Humility

In general, I would like (at least in the outside world) to appear to be a somewhat competent...together person...or at least not appear to be a complete disaster. However, lately there have been a series of humbling events each time I attempt to leave the house, pick up the phone, send an email, or have a conversation at swimming lessons, or pretty much make an effort to function in any capacity with the outside world. I feel as if I'm living in an I Love Lucy episode...and I'm Lucy.

Humbling Incident Number One

Last week, I backed out of the driveway in a rush to take James (our seven-year-old) to swimming lessons. I was late (of course) and I failed to notice my brother's Toyota rapidly approaching the rear end of my car as I neared the end of my driveway. The Toyota made itself known with a crunch sending my heart to my knees...which turned to jello as I realized that I had done it again. This would be a forgiveable offense if it had been the first time...but no...I have backed into various vehicles over the course of the last two years. Pretty much anytime someone parks behind me (only in my own driveway - those of you living in Northwest Ohio have no need to fear me on the open road.) the end result is that dreaded crunch and the sinking agony that reminds me just what I am capable of. These incidents occur in my own driveway as I am a creature of habit...and inevitably in a rush. As far as Tim's reaction...picture almost any Lucy and Ricky episode...but he is getting quite used to forgiving my infractions. Thank you, Lord for grace and mercy...and car insurance!

Humbling Incident Number Two

Yesterday at swimming lessons (I'm seeing a pattern here - maybe the problem is swimming lessons!) out of nowhere, I was gripped with panic as I was suddenly convinced that I had made a mistake on my calendar and should have been teaching the five-year-olds at VBS instead of having James at swimming lessons. What was the date? Did I have it wrong all along? Are there five-year-olds wandering aimlessly without a teacher? How could I have done this? I actually fell to the grass and held my head in my hands...Did anyone have a cell phone? All of this drama took place in front of the other mommies watching swimming lessons in our small town of 2,000. I was shaking as I tried to call the church...no answer...probably because they needed all hands on deck to cover the vacant VBS spot! This was like one of those nightmares I sometimes have when I wake up shaking because I dream that I forgot something important, and it takes hours to calm down and convince myself that it didn't really happen. Only this time it was in broad daylight in front of everyone. I called someone else and they assured me that VBS was indeed next week. I hadn't forgotten. I was redeemed. Now I just needed to stop shaking, and act natural.

In my defense, you should see my calendar. I have one of those special calendars that has a line for each person for every day because the ones with the little tiny squares just don't cut it for the Gerkens anymore. We have the orthodontist, vision therapy, dentist, sports physicals, church worship, golf tournaments, baseball games, ministry fundraisers, ministry outreach, seminars, meetings etc. You probably know how it goes. Most of the mothers at swimming lessons understood my panic. Most of us are walking around in an overscheduled, distracted fog, with the potential to miss something important at any given moment. Again, I was grateful for God's grace and mercy that I hadn't completely missed VBS...we still had time...I was redeemed.

Although there have been several other humbling events this week...I will share just one more. Today, I was being interviewed for the Findlay Courier about Sufficient Grace Ministries for Women. While doing my hair, prior to the interview, my flat iron broke into two pieces. Now you ladies know how hot your flat iron has to get to tame the frizzies (and I have some defiant frizzies). Picture Lucy trying to flat iron her hair with two fat, flat 100something degree chopsticks.

I get it Lord...humility. I don't have it all together...in fact I can't do anything apart from the Lord and His grace. I need His mercies which are new every morning. I need to bathe every moment of every day in prayer. I need to stay humble and remember that although I am a flawed broken vessel, I can rest assured that His strength is made perfect in my weakness.