tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53549747972186163812024-03-14T02:06:17.810-04:00The Beauty of Sufficient GraceOur family's journey as God has carried us through the loss of three out of five of our children and the ministry He has given us to encourage women and families through scripture and our own experience as we walk with Him and see how He makes beauty from ashes in our lives.Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.comBlogger419125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-9169747599487473112021-12-07T19:06:00.002-05:002021-12-07T19:06:25.034-05:00SGM Visits The Alpha Sigma Phi Fraternity House<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi0gkjhNMYGQyTtT6qD4t-z_FGaNesx9Qf_pGJ3VuvMEs4TQhrs6Ixt_nQzFQiFp9GCvUfsTZnwe-3Aw0BXRy43mggYDSot0hPTl9Gt4SegaD_HjNwpA8AKCZdCXn2z32yf3IMcdLejK7WmTfxTbLz98FTF8J2ny3TklPwcZMyf0xjrQknO57zmsJCf=s2048" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1360" data-original-width="2048" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi0gkjhNMYGQyTtT6qD4t-z_FGaNesx9Qf_pGJ3VuvMEs4TQhrs6Ixt_nQzFQiFp9GCvUfsTZnwe-3Aw0BXRy43mggYDSot0hPTl9Gt4SegaD_HjNwpA8AKCZdCXn2z32yf3IMcdLejK7WmTfxTbLz98FTF8J2ny3TklPwcZMyf0xjrQknO57zmsJCf=w371-h247" width="371" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">The first time I spoke to the gentleman from Alpha Sigma Phi, I wondered how they would respond. I walked into the room filled with college boys, wearing ties – some rumpled, some pristine, some sleepy from activities the night before. I carried my Sufficient Grace Ministries bag filled with a Comfort Bear and Dreams of You book on my shoulder and a red flowered headband in my hair. I smiled to cover the intimidation I felt, walking into a room filled to the brim with testosterone.</span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><em>They’re just “boys in your kitchen</em>“, I tried to convince myself. They continued to file in with their boisterous boyness, lively and noisy. I swallowed the knot in my throat, wondering how on Earth it was that I would find myself in this place, about to talk a bunch of college boys about babies dying. I was certain this was the last thing they would want to hear.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Ian whispered, “Don’t be nervous, Mrs. Gerken.”</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I said, “I’m always nervous, Ian. But, I’ll be fine.”</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I stood up and began telling them the story of a twenty-one year old husband and wife standing over the grave of their baby girls, our story. I told about choosing life for Thomas and being carried through grief. They were quieted and humbled and moved. Some looked at me and nodded. Some looked down. This is a hard subject for most seasoned adults. But, all of them listened. When I was finished, and Ian suggested they volunteer to make Comfort Bears, they responded with a level of enthusiasm closer to that seen at a rock concert than any church service I’ve attended. In fact, I’ve never seen a church lady hoot, holler, applaud and proclaim “Let’s do this!” when I asked for volunteers. Just sayin’. Perhaps we could learn a thing or two about willing hearts from a bunch of college frat boys.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I smiled and laughed all the way home that day, thinking how unlikely a pairing, and yet, how just like God to bring together a <span class="il">fraternity</span> and a ministry for grieving parents. How just like God not to be hindered by preconceptions or prejudice or boundaries. He longs to stretch us and grow us beyond the comfortable hindrances we build for ourselves. If we knew the limitlessness of His grace and love, it would humble and shock us to the core. I will be honest, staring into the truth of the realization that “there is no can’t” with God is both exhilarating and frightening.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Yesterday, Kaye, Lynette, Peggy, and I spent the afternoon with about 20 boys from Alpha Sigma Phi at the BGSU campus, stuffing about 40 Comfort Bears, and cutting Teeny Tears diapers, hearts, and ribbon. One of the students even helped sew the bears shut after stuffing. We prayed and stuffed bears and listened to the story telling and laughed, just like when boys fill my kitchen. But, instead of my kitchen, we were stuffing Comfort Bears in the middle of a frat house.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">It was a sobering thought for the small group of young men gathered around the table as I showed them a tiny diaper, made to fit a baby that is 20-25 weeks old. I told them how much it means for parents to have something tangible, and to make as many memories as they can with their babies for the short time they have with them. The weight of that reality settled heavy on their faces, as I told them how special it is to parents that each item is made by hand.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> Another boy shared, “It’s something to think that each one of these bears will go to a grieving parent.”</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">These bears, and so many more. The number is staggering.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">In the baby loss community, great emphasis is placed on awareness and advocacy. Many are passionate about breaking the silence, knocking down the barriers, dispelling the loneliness, eliminating the stigma. We stand with you, and understand the passion. But, at SGM, I rarely feel compelled to take up a “picket sign”. Not that I blame those who do…nor do I disagree. But, our mission has been more to come alongside a grieving heart gently, offering grace. Any awareness that is brought into the equation happens naturally, not forced. It comes out in the walking together. Like grace, it flows easily, saying<em> I will meet you where ever you are</em>. It can even happen in a college <span class="il">fraternity</span>. Our form of awareness-spreading focuses not on numbers or forcefulness, but on the heart of each individual.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">We were joined by my prayer warrior friend, Lynette, who helps weekly with shipping at SGM, and prays over the mothers on our list with me. She is a tiny mother of four strapping boys, and mighty in her gentleness. She also makes the best chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever had.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Originally posted: April 21, 2013</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">One young man was a Comfort Bear stuffing prodigy. He showed us a key chain that he carries with him, in the shape of a tiny handprint. He volunteers often with a children’s hospital, and was struck when they told him that the tiny metal hand he now carries on the key ring was the actual size of a premature baby’s hand. He carries it with him as a reminder.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">There’s a whole lot of beauty in this life, if we’re looking. And, a whole lot we can learn from listening to one another. That is true ministry, true awareness. A heart that listens with love and grace, and hands that work willingly alongside one another.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Another one of the “boys from my kitchen”, Brett, attends the University of Cincinnati. In one of his classes, he was asked to do a persuasive speech about a non-profit organization/charity, with the objective to convince the class/professor/audience that it would be a worthy cause to support. He chose to speak about SGM, and told the story of Faith, Grace, and Thomas and what SGM does for other families. He spent the night at our house on one of the recent evenings I was called to a hospital. The next morning, after being with the family all night, I sat with Brett, Timothy, Hannah and Brett’s mom, Peggy, stuffing Comfort Bears. He felt the heavy of my weariness as I hugged him tight in my exhausted stupor, grateful for his willingness to serve and sit with us awhile. He has a heart that notices. I cannot tell you how it touched my heart when he told me about his speech to his classmates. I’m not sure if he knows just how much it meant to me that he even knew the names of Faith, Grace, and Thomas…that they mattered enough to him to remember. And, that they were spoken aloud by a college boy, in front of other college students.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Because our babies lived, a generation is being changed and inspired, one heart at a time.</p>Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-25625199102109942582021-12-07T18:59:00.001-05:002021-12-07T19:00:54.490-05:00SGM Visits the Alpha Sigma Phi Fraternity House<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" class="placeholder" height="240" id="6e5380a2113f3" src="https://www.blogger.com/img/transparent.gif" style="background-color: #d8d8d8; background-image: url('https://fonts.gstatic.com/s/i/materialiconsextended/insert_photo/v6/grey600-24dp/1x/baseline_insert_photo_grey600_24dp.png'); background-position: center; background-repeat: no-repeat; opacity: 0.6;" width="320" /></div><br />Originally posted April 21, 2013</div><p></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">The first time I spoke to the gentleman from Alpha Sigma Phi, I wondered how they would respond. I walked into the room filled with college boys, wearing ties – some rumpled, some pristine, some sleepy from activities the night before. I carried my Sufficient Grace Ministries bag filled with a Comfort Bear and Dreams of You book on my shoulder and a red flowered headband in my hair. I smiled to cover the intimidation I felt, walking into a room filled to the brim with testosterone.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><em>They’re just “boys in your kitchen</em>“, I tried to convince myself. They continued to file in with their boisterous boyness, lively and noisy. I swallowed the knot in my throat, wondering how on Earth it was that I would find myself in this place, about to talk a bunch of college boys about babies dying. I was certain this was the last thing they would want to hear.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Ian whispered, “Don’t be nervous, Mrs. Gerken.”</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I said, “I’m always nervous, Ian. But, I’ll be fine.”</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I stood up and began telling them the story of a twenty-one year old husband and wife standing over the grave of their baby girls, our story. I told about choosing life for Thomas and being carried through grief. They were quieted and humbled and moved. Some looked at me and nodded. Some looked down. This is a hard subject for most seasoned adults. But, all of them listened. When I was finished, and Ian suggested they volunteer to make Comfort Bears, they responded with a level of enthusiasm closer to that seen at a rock concert than any church service I’ve attended. In fact, I’ve never seen a church lady hoot, holler, applaud and proclaim “Let’s do this!” when I asked for volunteers. Just sayin’. Perhaps we could learn a thing or two about willing hearts from a bunch of college frat boys.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I smiled and laughed all the way home that day, thinking how unlikely a pairing, and yet, how just like God to bring together a <span class="il">fraternity</span> and a ministry for grieving parents. How just like God not to be hindered by preconceptions or prejudice or boundaries. He longs to stretch us and grow us beyond the comfortable hindrances we build for ourselves. If we knew the limitlessness of His grace and love, it would humble and shock us to the core. I will be honest, staring into the truth of the realization that “there is no can’t” with God is both exhilarating and frightening.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Yesterday, Kaye, Lynette, Peggy, and I spent the afternoon with about 20 boys from Alpha Sigma Phi at the BGSU campus, stuffing about 40 Comfort Bears, and cutting Teeny Tears diapers, hearts, and ribbon. One of the students even helped sew the bears shut after stuffing. We prayed and stuffed bears and listened to the story telling and laughed, just like when boys fill my kitchen. But, instead of my kitchen, we were stuffing Comfort Bears in the middle of a frat house.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">It was a sobering thought for the small group of young men gathered around the table as I showed them a tiny diaper, made to fit a baby that is 20-25 weeks old. I told them how much it means for parents to have something tangible, and to make as many memories as they can with their babies for the short time they have with them. The weight of that reality settled heavy on their faces, as I told them how special it is to parents that each item is made by hand.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> Another boy shared, “It’s something to think that each one of these bears will go to a grieving parent.”</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">These bears, and so many more. The number is staggering.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">In the baby loss community, great emphasis is placed on awareness and advocacy. Many are passionate about breaking the silence, knocking down the barriers, dispelling the loneliness, eliminating the stigma. We stand with you, and understand the passion. But, at SGM, I rarely feel compelled to take up a “picket sign”. Not that I blame those who do…nor do I disagree. But, our mission has been more to come alongside a grieving heart gently, offering grace. Any awareness that is brought into the equation happens naturally, not forced. It comes out in the walking together. Like grace, it flows easily, saying<em> I will meet you where ever you are</em>. It can even happen in a college <span class="il">fraternity</span>. Our form of awareness-spreading focuses not on numbers or forcefulness, but on the heart of each individual.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">We were joined by my prayer warrior friend, Lynette, who helps weekly with shipping at SGM, and prays over the mothers on our list with me. She is a tiny mother of four strapping boys, and mighty in her gentleness. She also makes the best chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever had.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">One young man was a Comfort Bear stuffing prodigy. He showed us a key chain that he carries with him, in the shape of a tiny handprint. He volunteers often with a children’s hospital, and was struck when they told him that the tiny metal hand he now carries on the key ring was the actual size of a premature baby’s hand. He carries it with him as a reminder.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">There’s a whole lot of beauty in this life, if we’re looking. And, a whole lot we can learn from listening to one another. That is true ministry, true awareness. A heart that listens with love and grace, and hands that work willingly alongside one another.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Another one of the “boys from my kitchen”, Brett, attends the University of Cincinnati. In one of his classes, he was asked to do a persuasive speech about a non-profit organization/charity, with the objective to convince the class/professor/audience that it would be a worthy cause to support. He chose to speak about SGM, and told the story of Faith, Grace, and Thomas and what SGM does for other families. He spent the night at our house on one of the recent evenings I was called to a hospital. The next morning, after being with the family all night, I sat with Brett, Timothy, Hannah and Brett’s mom, Peggy, stuffing Comfort Bears. He felt the heavy of my weariness as I hugged him tight in my exhausted stupor, grateful for his willingness to serve and sit with us awhile. He has a heart that notices. I cannot tell you how it touched my heart when he told me about his speech to his classmates. I’m not sure if he knows just how much it meant to me that he even knew the names of Faith, Grace, and Thomas…that they mattered enough to him to remember. And, that they were spoken aloud by a college boy, in front of other college students.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Because our babies lived, a generation is being changed and inspired, one heart at a time.</p>Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-91796415692319194872021-12-07T18:43:00.003-05:002021-12-07T18:43:50.630-05:00To Better The Man<p> Repost from November 22, 2013</p><p><br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-sWJbuZp9U54/Ya_wzocDwzI/AAAAAAAAd9o/FvfBIHm2dsg4R9p8z1__C3D55-IRSPv_QCNcBGAsYHQ/image.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="792" data-original-width="612" height="240" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-sWJbuZp9U54/Ya_wzocDwzI/AAAAAAAAd9o/FvfBIHm2dsg4R9p8z1__C3D55-IRSPv_QCNcBGAsYHQ/image.png" width="185" /></a></div><br />A couple years ago, Ian, one of my son’s best friends, used to sit in my kitchen telling me how fraternities weren’t all about partying and mayhem. He spoke of philanthropy in flowery words filled with conviction. An excellent spinner of the words, I listened to his spiel with a smile and allowed him a slight victory this time. His examples were valid and respect worthy. Still, I wondered as a skeptical and protective mother does.<p></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">The years my son and his friends spent in my kitchen, eating and telling their boy stories were the most fun season of my life thus far. It was easy. I felt like they always blessed me more than I ever did for them, even then. They went off to college, and one in the Navy. Sometimes, they come back for visits, and tell their stories again, in my kitchen. Those times are sweet gifts.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://blog.sufficientgraceministries.org/2013/04/sgm-workday-at-the-alpha-sigma-phi-fraternity-house/&source=gmail&ust=1639003832303000&usg=AOvVaw3_6R-i1qPeSGoA_9E56WcK" href="http://blog.sufficientgraceministries.org/2013/04/sgm-workday-at-the-alpha-sigma-phi-fraternity-house/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Last year</a>, Ian’s fraternity, <span class="il">Alpha</span> <span class="il">Sigma</span> <span class="il">Phi</span> Gamma Zeta Chapter at Bowling Green State University, invited the ladies of SGM to bring our Comfort Bear supplies so they could help us stuff bears for mothers with grieving hearts. We gathered in the middle of their frat house and worked. It was such a blessing. I’ll admit, my heart softened a lot that day toward the idea of a college fraternity. All that I love about grace and way our Jesus accepts us as we are, well making our bears in the middle of a frat house…I think that sounds about right.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Last month, when Ian called me to ask if the gentlemen from <span class="il">Alpha</span> Sig could host a fundraiser/service project for us, we were thrilled with the idea. We would set up in the middle of the student union and students could donate $5 to stuff a Comfort Bear for a grieving mother. So, not only would they be raising money for SGM, but also making bears! The boys worked and planned the event, making beautiful flyers and precious ribbons, all themselves. Those who couldn’t stuff a bear due to time constraints, could donate $2 for a ribbon. Ribbons made with the hands of these fraternity boys. The SGM Comfort Bear Team of six ladies worked hard, as well, cutting and sewing 125 bear shells to be stuffed in less than a month’s time! So grateful to the dedicated and hard-working volunteers at SGM. You ladies rock!</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-bjSyp_0jIpM/Ya_wgGxUoLI/AAAAAAAAd9g/3at59se2LFYVTwv8Go7KII9BNqVtxw1jQCNcBGAsYHQ/image.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1360" data-original-width="2048" height="266" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-bjSyp_0jIpM/Ya_wgGxUoLI/AAAAAAAAd9g/3at59se2LFYVTwv8Go7KII9BNqVtxw1jQCNcBGAsYHQ/w400-h266/image.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">We arrived to find the gentlemen of <span class="il">Alpha</span> Sig well prepared.<br /><br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Students stopped to inquire about the enticing cute bears, and I listened as college boys explained to each one that these bears would be offered in packets sent by Sufficient Grace Ministries, to comfort grieving moms who have lost a child in pregnancy or at birth. My heart swelled with pride and a myriad of other emotions as I listened to Ian speak words that many seasoned adults would ignore listening to, much less have the courage to speak. Because people don’t want to know that sometimes babies die. Some members of my own family do not come to SGM or speak the names of my children. But the boys from my kitchen know their names. The faces of the students changed when they heard that these bears had such a somber purpose, and one by one, many dug into their wallets to donate $5 to stuff a Comfort Bear.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">The managers of Starbucks came to ask about our setup and donated $40 after the gentlemen explained about SGM.<br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-Z7AaAOGRo7A/Ya_vPIUYorI/AAAAAAAAd9I/YlYhL7f-fWMeQo7IYT4TGkZlYJGCwbNAQCNcBGAsYHQ/image.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1360" data-original-width="2048" height="214" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-Z7AaAOGRo7A/Ya_vPIUYorI/AAAAAAAAd9I/YlYhL7f-fWMeQo7IYT4TGkZlYJGCwbNAQCNcBGAsYHQ/w320-h214/image.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <br /></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-nrBETCaq49g/Ya_vdwb84YI/AAAAAAAAd9M/JexEplrZCSU5JzKpQtPbg0OTi-1ZCu7RwCNcBGAsYHQ/image.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1360" data-original-width="2048" height="233" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-nrBETCaq49g/Ya_vdwb84YI/AAAAAAAAd9M/JexEplrZCSU5JzKpQtPbg0OTi-1ZCu7RwCNcBGAsYHQ/w349-h233/image.png" width="349" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-TjTBVMmSvgo/Ya_v_o3nE6I/AAAAAAAAd9Y/CIfKRuwx9iUzLPRkX2xU0Go45I1pa7K_ACNcBGAsYHQ/image.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1360" data-original-width="2048" height="264" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-TjTBVMmSvgo/Ya_v_o3nE6I/AAAAAAAAd9Y/CIfKRuwx9iUzLPRkX2xU0Go45I1pa7K_ACNcBGAsYHQ/w396-h264/image.png" width="396" /></a></div><br /><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-HApqIBJH1VQ/Ya_t2BHrX_I/AAAAAAAAd84/gkX5-Ts3M20EgM3pQMnLBYm0vF-NwSxzgCNcBGAsYHQ/image.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1360" data-original-width="2048" height="242" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-HApqIBJH1VQ/Ya_t2BHrX_I/AAAAAAAAd84/gkX5-Ts3M20EgM3pQMnLBYm0vF-NwSxzgCNcBGAsYHQ/w364-h242/image.png" width="364" /></a></div><br /><br />Above is my son’s beautiful girlfriend, Hannah, a student of BGSU and fellow SGM volunteer.<p></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">This is my Ian, the young <span class="il">man</span> who used his position as philanthropy chair of <span class="il">Alpha</span> <span class="il">Sigma</span> <span class="il">Phi</span> to make this amazing Build a Bear for Moms event possible. His incredible efforts and hard work, along with his team of brothers and the generous students and staff of BGSU earned $900 for SGM and stuffed 85 Comfort Bears to be sent around the world in Dreams of You care packages!!!! I love him like a son, and could not be more honored by him or proud of him for what he accomplished on Tuesday, and for his willing and beautiful heart to do it.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-QArrb8Qs5fk/Ya_u9UVnj9I/AAAAAAAAd9A/1LYdZQqzNfMUDeTrsEfWU9HqKpAqEKueACNcBGAsYHQ/image.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1263" height="339" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-QArrb8Qs5fk/Ya_u9UVnj9I/AAAAAAAAd9A/1LYdZQqzNfMUDeTrsEfWU9HqKpAqEKueACNcBGAsYHQ/w209-h339/image.png" width="209" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">The motto of the <span class="il">Alpha</span> <span class="il">Sigma</span> <span class="il">Phi</span> fraternity is to <span class="il">Better</span> the <span class="il">Man</span>. On Tuesday, I would say these brave young men took giant steps toward being <span class="il">better</span> men than most. The courage to show compassion, to look on the pain of another and offer something…even if just acknowledgment, to look even when it hurts or makes you feel emotion, the willingness to stand in the gap with another, to lay down your own comfort for someone else, to speak while others remain silent…that is the making of a <span class="il">better</span> <span class="il">man</span>. Those are the kind of men worth following.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Tears fell from my grateful cheeks as I struggled to find the words to convey to these gentlemen what their efforts meant for me and every other parent who has said goodbye to their sweet baby. I still can’t find the words, or stop the tears. The beauty of their hearts and their willingness to stand with us awhile, to offer all they could…well how can a mama find words for what that means to her heart? The ladies of Sufficient Grace Ministries love the gentlemen of <span class="il">Alpha</span> <span class="il">Sigma</span> <span class="il">Phi</span>. And, you boys are welcome in my kitchen anytime. You will always have a place in my heart. Thank you is not nearly enough.</p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Bereaved parents, this day, the students of BGSU stood with you.<br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-2-xx026MGfQ/Ya_xpJ4ETJI/AAAAAAAAd9w/fScyk0aSapk_LxF3cY1QKV-tNbfB9OH5QCNcBGAsYHQ/image.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="496" data-original-width="960" height="202" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-2-xx026MGfQ/Ya_xpJ4ETJI/AAAAAAAAd9w/fScyk0aSapk_LxF3cY1QKV-tNbfB9OH5QCNcBGAsYHQ/w392-h202/image.png" width="392" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">*You can read more thoughts on this day and a bit about another <span class="il">Alpha</span> Sig member named Zeke on my <a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://stillstandingmag.com/2013/11/time/&source=gmail&ust=1639003832304000&usg=AOvVaw0V7g2FgSVVJZlq7_GIBlJB" href="http://stillstandingmag.com/2013/11/time/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Still Standing post.</a></p><p style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">More pictures of the event are displayed <a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set%3Da.10151899836130777.1073741838.146552725776%26type%3D1&source=gmail&ust=1639003832304000&usg=AOvVaw0kpLGFhNmSPRPQe0kF7oEz" href="https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151899836130777.1073741838.146552725776&type=1" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">here.</a></p>Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-44169120915840894422012-05-08T13:18:00.001-04:002012-11-26T20:49:27.649-05:00Missing YouIn case you haven't noticed, The Beauty of Sufficient Grace has moved to a new address at <a href="http://blog.sufficientgraceministries.org/">http://blog.sufficientgraceministries.org</a> and changed to Wordpress. Unfortunately, I didn't do the best job at announcing where to find us, and also letting you know that you have to update your reader or whatever you use with the new address, if you'd like to keep in touch with us.
Also, Google has made many changes with Friend Connect, which also hasn't helped the dilemma. All blogs without blogger addresses are no longer included. We don't have a large number of followers, and readership has dropped since switching to Wordpress (because I think we've been lost already to some!) but certainly don't want to lose track of those who are still visiting. We love connecting with all of you.
I posted on our new blog about how you can follow the Sufficient Grace Blog at Bloglovin'. I hope you'll join us there. So far, only 11 of the close to 400 followers have found us there! =)
1. We've joined Bloglovin' and you can follow there by clicking the link above.
2. If you're not already subscribing by email, you can do so by signing up on the right sidebar. After entering your email address, you will have to verify the subscription with the email they send you. Then you will automatically receive updates from The Sufficient Grace Blog directly to your inbox! <strong>If you are currently subscribing, you do not have to do anything...you will continue to receive emails from our blog.
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3. You can click the link on the top right to Follow the RSS Feed.
4. You can also follow <a href="https://www.facebook.com/SufficientGraceMinistries">Sufficient Grace Ministries on Facebook</a>.
Thanks for those who are still reading: You are a blessing and encouragement to us. And, we pray that we can be a blessing to you, as well. Love to all....Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-23170586496966718812011-10-03T00:10:00.002-04:002011-10-03T00:14:05.091-04:00Remember With Us ~ October 15th (And a My Forever Child Giveaway!)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'century gothic'; line-height: 22px;">For the last couple years on October 15th, we honored and prayed for many families who lost a baby or child. And, I would like to do it again this year. I hope you will join us. Here is an excerpt from last year's post:<br />
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<em>October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I have met so many beautiful families through <a href="http://sufficientgrace-walkingwithyou.blogspot.com/" style="color: #779f93; text-decoration: none;">Walking With You</a>, this blog, and through Sufficient Grace Ministries. Your stories have touched my heart, and I want to remember each one of your precious babies. Every life is precious in the eyes of the Lord. Every life has value and purpose. While I have prayed for everyone who has crossed my path, it would be nice to have a list to pray for all in one place...with names and birth dates (and heavenly home-going dates). I thought it would be special for us to compile a list of our precious babies and post it here on October 15th. So, if you are a mother who has lost a baby/child and would like to include your family on our list, please leave your information in the comments below or email it to me at sufficientgraceministries@gmail.com. <strong>If your information is on last year's list, please note I will be including those previously listed and just adding any new names and re-posting the list. </strong><br />
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Even if we've never met (in real life or blog land!), you are welcome to participate. We want to remember all of the precious babies and their families. On that special day, I will post the list here and pray throughout the day for each of you...as we remember together. If you would like to help us spread the word on your blog so that we could include more families, please feel free! If you would like to include your child on the <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/p/october-15th-remembrance-page.html">October 15th Remembrance Page</a>, please leave the following in the comments below (on this post):<br />
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Child's Name<br />
Parents Name<br />
Birth Date<br />
Entered Heaven:<br />
Any message you may wish to share...or bible verse that brings you comfort</em></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'century gothic'; line-height: 22px;"><b>Also...if you are a grieving parent, and new to our site, please visit the <a href="http://sufficientgrace-dreamsofyou.blogspot.com/" style="color: #779f93; text-decoration: none;">Dreams of You Shop</a>. If you would like a Dreams of You Memory Book or Comfort Bear, please email the shipping address listed on that page. We do not charge parents for our products or services. It is our desire and prayer to offer comfort and hope to every family who crosses our path.</b></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'century gothic'; line-height: 22px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">*We would also like to bless a mama with a $50 gift certificate from <a href="http://www.myforeverchild.com/">My Forever Child</a>!! So, if you would like to enter to win the gift certificate, please mention that you want to be included in your comment. </span></b></span>Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-6449063130753521442011-10-01T08:56:00.008-04:002011-10-01T09:29:43.240-04:00Musings and Happenings (and Puppies-Oh My!)This morning, I'm finally working on some overdue Dreams of You Shipments and SGM thank yous. It has been difficult to keep up in this busy season, but if you are waiting to hear from us, please know you have not been forgotten. Shipments continue to go out to families all over the United States and beyond. If you are a supporter of this ministry, we thank you for your continued support and ask for your prayers for us as we reach out to grieving families, and for the beautiful families we serve as they walk this difficult path.<br />
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<b>October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month</b>, with a special Remembrance Day on October 15th. <a href="http://www.sufficientgrace.net/">Sufficient Grace Ministries </a>will once again h<a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2010/10/remember-with-us-october-15th-and.html">onor the lives of the precious babies </a>who leave this earth too soon, as we have in the past. Candles will be lit, and prayers will be lifted on behalf of each family. We will also be hosting some giveaways to bless a few mamas in the coming weeks, so please stay tuned for more information. We've listed names for the past couple years here: <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/p/october-15th-remembrance-page.html">October 15th Remembrance Page</a>. Information coming soon about how you can add your child/family to the list.<br />
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<a href="http://smallbirdstudios.com/">Franchesca from Small Bird Studio</a>s has been working on a redesign of the Sufficient Grace website and this blog. I'm excited to reveal those changes when they are complete. The process included a photo shoot, (once again in the pouring rain) with Raechel Feehan (who was such a trooper to give her time and stand in the pouring rain with us...coaxing smiles out of my not-loving-getting-their-picture-taken guys). She does an excellent job of "capturing" our family. So excited to get an updated family picture on our wall...and to update the blog as well! Thank you beautiful Raechel...love you, girl!<br />
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I've been adjusting to a new school year, and loving spending time with the fourth grade students I work with each day. James is acclimating to middle school, and Timothy is well into his Senior year. Time is flying, golf clubs are clink-clanking, I'm following behind...sometimes a sappy puddle, acutely aware of the endings this year brings...even as we anticipate the adventure of beginnings. It has been a gift to watch him achieve some accomplishments on the course the past few weeks, and I'm missing my mom (who would relish every inch of it all). You know, you can't freely brag on your kids with anyone except your mama...at least it doesn't seem acceptable to do so. Only our mamas love them like we do. But, it has been a blessing to see his hard work bring some fruit this year (including his first hole in one last week, which was a fun surprise!). I'm looking forward to watching him compete at the district tournament this Thursday.<br />
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<b>Our band<a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2009/12/introducing-one-way.html"> One Way</a></b> has been preparing for an upcoming performance at Oakdale United Methodist Church. We will be sharing some praise songs, and I will be speaking briefly about Sufficient Grace on Sunday, October 9th. Please keep that upcoming event in prayer.<br />
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After working as a concrete/excavating foreman for more than 16 years, my husband started his own business last month. He has been quite busy, and it has been such a blessing to see him use his gifts and abilities in new and creative ways. You can check out his website here: <a href="http://www.gerkenconstruction.com/">Gerken Construction</a>. Stop over and give him a word of encouragement. He does beautiful work...and I would say that, even if he wasn't my husband. =)<br />
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Oh...and in the midst of it all, our beagle had puppies on the first day of school. She had a litter of eight, but two did not make it. So, it has been a roly-poly, tumble-bumpling romp of puppy goodness and cuteness around these parts...James has been in heaven! =)<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1pVg56snJok/TocSOgjezoI/AAAAAAAABcA/0OtYS7J2320/s1600/james+puppies3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1pVg56snJok/TocSOgjezoI/AAAAAAAABcA/0OtYS7J2320/s400/james+puppies3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">They are seriously so cute, I cannot even deal!</div>Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-77391157856901254492011-09-30T06:53:00.001-04:002011-09-30T06:56:17.461-04:00I've Looked AwayFor most of my life, while nestled on my comfy couch, indulging in some yummy food, when those commercials interrupted my entertaining television programs, I turned the channel. You know the ones. Bedraggled children with the lost look in their eyes. Hungry. Alone. Desperate. Bellies distended from malnutrition. Tattered rags falling from their shoulders. I turned the channel. I looked away.<br />
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My days are busy and full. Soccer games and golf tournaments. Baseball games in the summer. Finding the perfect dress to wear to a friend's wedding. Making sure the boys have nice new clothes for school. Shopping for the items on their Christmas list. Going to work to help pay our bills. Supporting my husband in his new business. Trying to find time to reach out to others through SGM.<br />
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But, when the least of these stood before me with haunting brown eyes, I have looked away. Over and over again. No time to be bothered with images that are unsettling. The kind of thoughts that shake a faith with a firm foundation to it's knees. I looked away, because I was busy. I looked away because I didn't want to be uncomfortable. Because it's too hard to look, to really consider that children are living in such a hopeless state. I looked away, because I knew that if I ever really looked, I would be consumed with the idea of their suffering. I looked away because I am a selfish coward....because the task seems insurmountable....because there is nothing I can do to save them.<br />
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My heart's passion is to reach out to mother's who grieve the loss of their babies...to look on the kind of sorrow that many find uncomfortable, untouchable, that many look away from. And, yet there is a suffering that, as a mother, I cannot wrap my mind around...a suffering that seems too horrible to imagine. So, I have looked away.<br />
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But, something happened last Sunday. A speaker from <a href="http://www.gfa.org/">Gospel for Asia</a> came to share about their outreach for the children of India. He spoke of the desperation and poverty, the children cast aside and abused in unspeakable ways...rejected by a religion that tells them they are worthless, less than human if born to a certain "caste"...digging in garbage to find a scrap to feed their starving tummies...filthy from the slums they live in...drinking from a sewer to quench their thirst. I looked over at James, listening intently to the desperate tales of woe suffered by millions of children and fellow human beings on planet earth just minutes after proclaiming his determination to one day own a Playstation 3. I thought of how we cannot determine the conditions we are born into. It could have been me, or one of my children born into the same hopelessness. We know this life of comfort, freedom, and safety. But what if we didn't? What if we only knew the horror of waking everyday to such an agonizing existence? What if we didn't know that a Savior came to die for us? What if we didn't know we had worth and value? What if every moment of our lives screamed the opposite? What if I was the mother forced to watch my children starve to death? What if my child were the one begging on the street and digging in the garbage? I cannot tell you how difficult and frightening it is to even type such "what ifs".<br />
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The usual protective numbness that surrounds my heart when such things are discussed was no where to be found. I couldn't look away. I took the books and the picture of a child to sponsor.<br />
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These words from the book <i>No Longer a Slumdog </i>(by K.P. Yohannan)<i> </i>have haunted me for several days, piercing my cold heart:<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"Remember that you have only one soul; that you have only</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 14px;"> one death to die; that you have only one life, which is short</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 14px;"> and has to be lived by you alone; and that there is only one</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 14px;"> glory, which is eternal. If you do this, there will be many </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 14px;">things about which you will care nothing. ~ Teresa of Avila</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And yet, none of it seems like enough. While I don't believe we should feel guilty for living in a warm, safe house with plenty of food and freedom, it is difficult to reconcile that there is such suffering while we do so. I opened my full cupboard after Sunday's service and made chili and apple crisp. We stuffed ourselves while watching the Cleveland Browns and enjoyed a peaceful Sunday nap. Across the ocean, a starving child digs in the garbage hoping for a scrap someone tossed away.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I don't know how to reconcile that the same loving God sees us both. I don't know how to reconcile the things we think matter so much in the day-to-day world we are living in with the truth of what matters in eternity. I don't know how to reconcile the helplessness I feel that there are so many, and the sudden desperation to take at least one of these children in my arms and let them know that God sees, that they are loved and wanted, valuable and precious in the eyes of Jesus.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I don't know what to do with it all....but one thing is certain...I can no longer look away.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">*For a free copy of the book, <i>No Longer a Slumdog </i>and for more information on how you can help Gospel for Asia bring hope and healing to people in desperate need, please visit: <a href="http://www.gfa.org/">Gospel for Asia</a></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the <b>least</b> of <b>these</b> My brethren, you did it to Me.’</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">~Matthew 25:40</span></span>Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-64074531449318061442011-09-15T05:22:00.001-04:002011-09-15T05:27:27.972-04:00Where is God in all This Mess?Suffering is everywhere. Grief, loss, brokenness. Everywhere. Everyday.<br />
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Everyday, I meet or read about a mother who has lost her child. My inbox is full of mothers waiting for SGM shipments to honor the memory of these precious lives.<br />
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A couple days ago, one of my best friends (mommy to baby <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2010/04/baby-sawyer-urgent-prayers-needed.html">Sawyer)</a>, kissed her sweet boy and sent him off to the operating room where he endured his second open heart surgery. He is a little more than one year old. He is full of life and joy, seemingly unaware of the precarious way he entered this world and ridiculously resilient although he has been poked and prodded by various physicians throughout his brief time on planet earth. (The surgery went well, and sweet Sawyer is recovering...please keep him in your prayers.)<br />
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This week, after one of the plethora of high school golf matches that fill my afternoons, I sat for a couple hours talking with another dear friend and co-worker, mother to my son's best friend. Her husband was a co-worker of mine, an amazing father to her three boys (the youngest a senior), a beloved girls' basketball coach, and a devoted member of our community. The fourth anniversary of his sudden death is approaching. We spoke of the missing...of the reconciling how God could let this happen...and why. I couldn't shake the image of my beautiful friend sitting in the church pew with her three boys beside her and his casket in the front of the church. I have often thought of the grief I have walked through, and the times Tim has held me up when I couldn't stand...held me when I woke up sobbing...covered for me when I couldn't leave my bedroom...held my hand and led me when I couldn't see where to walk. My friend has walked where I have not. Grief I have known, but grief without him...I dare not even speak of it. It's the kind none of us want to know, and yet she walks this path...bravely and beautifully. The world keeps turning...the sun rises and sets. She goes to work everyday, and loves her boys, and aches for the love of her life.<br />
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A student is watching his father bravely battle cancer.<br />
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Another boy I know loves the color pink, because his mother is fighting cancer...for at least the third time. His grandfather is currently in the hospital...not doing well.<br />
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There are other children...who come to school with hurts we cannot imagine. Everyday.<br />
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And, the world keeps turning. The sun rises and sets.<br />
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The question hangs in the air. It's the one I struggle to answer when face to face with such grief. The one that won't tolerate some well-thought out response with flowery prose. The one that looks skeptically at the scriptures that promise comfort and peace. It's the one I don't have an answer to...at least not a worthy answer.<br />
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<i>Where is God in all this pain...and why did He let this happen?</i><br />
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Sure, I could wax poetic with a thousand cliches and pat answers. There are beautiful scriptures...examples of faith. Words that are true and right. But, when standing face to face with the raw agony of a heart twisted in pain like that....sometimes I am rendered speechless. Sometimes there are no words...no answers.<br />
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I could say that this world is not the one He intended for us. The suffering, grief, and destruction are part of life in this fallen world. They are not Who He is. He is the love that carries us, the peace that sustains us, the grace that offers redemption. He is in the beauty born of the ashes.<br />
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My words will not fill the ache of a mother's empty arms or the agony of living life on this earth without the one she loves. Many times, I say nothing or very little and simply offer prayers and/or scripture. But, sometimes I long for something to say...some hope to cling to.<br />
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In April 2010, <a href="http://onceamother.blogspot.com/2010/04/oh-god.html">Kristin wrote this post</a>, wondering about God and His intentions...wrestling honestly with her grief and the sometimes hurtful words of others. The response that poured out of me (along with buckets of tears) was the closest I have ever come to saying what I wish could be said to an aching heart. Still...the words are far from adequate. I copied my comment from her blog and pasted below:<br />
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<dd class="comment-body" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #ffd3c8; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 3px; padding-right: 3px; padding-top: 3px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 8px;"></div><div style="background: #FFD3C8; line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #ffeeea; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: #333333; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 10pt;">Kristin,<br />
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I am so sorry people have used words that are hurtful. I'm reading your words with tears pouring down my face...so sorry for the hurt you are feeling. I can feel the strength of it through your words. The anger...the pain...the feelings of abandonment. They are bigger than anything else right now. Right now, there are no perfect answers or words tied up in a neat bow to explain the suffering and death of your sweet baby girl...and the continuation of loss you feel facing infertility. There are no words to make that better or explain why. I know the pain is bigger than anything else...that you feel like He has let you down, turned His back on you. You are in the thick of grief...heavy, relentless, merciless grief.<br />
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You may read my blog and see where I am now...it isn't a place I've always been. The process of getting beauty from ashes is no walk in the park. There were years of healing, brokenness, restoration, surrender, and learning to trust Him. He is still piecing some things back together in my life.<br />
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The words I want to tell you are going to seem so cotton candy right now. But, they are true...and maybe you can take some comfort in knowing that they are coming from someone who has walked through some stuff.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
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God doesn't intend suffering, pain, death, sickness, cancer, grief...any of it. He never intended it. He isn't the author of it. And, as a loving Father who values you enough to send His own Son to suffer horribly and die in your place....He takes no pleasure in your pain. He loves you and His heart breaks for you...with you... I get that you can't feel Him right now...that the pain is too much. I get it, and so does He. When I even try to think of the depth of your pain, it seems like such bologna as I'm writing it...knowing that you are in a place to receive this right now, and desperately hoping that my words do nothing to pour salt in your gaping wounds...<br />
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(To be continued in next comment)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FF9E86; line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 2.25pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 2.25pt; mso-outline-level: 1; text-align: right;"><span class="comment-timestamp"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #ffeeea; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 7.5pt;"><a href="http://onceamother.blogspot.com/2010/04/oh-god.html?showComment=1271723807079#c7326460516500573835" title="comment permalink"><span style="color: white;">April 19, 2010 8:36 PM</span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="color: white;"> </span></span></a></span></span><span class="item-controlblog-adminpid-1437870872"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #ffeeea; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 7.5pt;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8163203822642488592&postID=7326460516500573835" title="Delete Comment"><span style="color: white; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="13" src="file:///C:/Users/User/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtml1/01/clip_image001.gif" v:shapes="_x0000_i1025" width="13" /></span></a></span></span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #ffeeea; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 2.25pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 2.25pt; mso-outline-level: 1;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=5354974797218616381&postID=6407453144931806144&from=pencil" name="c2221729484251132147"></a><b><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #ffeeea; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: #333333; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551"><span style="color: #ff6248;">Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries</span></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>said...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div style="background: #FFD3C8; line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #ffeeea; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: #333333; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 10pt;">Ridiculously long comment continued....<br />
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You may be thinking...O.K...He didn't intend it, but He allowed it. He didn't stop it. He didn't protect her. He didn't protect me. You're right...He didn't stop it from happening...and I don't have an answer for that. Not one that will make it better. His ways are not our ways...and only He sees the beginning from the end. It is true that there are beautiful things that come from the ashes of our brokenness. And God can use all things in our lives to shape and mold us.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
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But, when you are in the pit sinking...where you are, those words sometimes don't help...and may even bring hurt. Who wants to hear about being shaped and molded when your arms are aching for your baby, your body is broken, and your heart is in pieces, and your mind is plagued with memories of the suffering of your precious child? You can't see the hope of that promise from the pit. Can't feel the comfort of it. That doesn't mean it isn't there...doesn't mean that He isn't there...and I know me saying it doesn't make you feel better.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
From my pit...I didn't want to hear about God's will...didn't want to hear about the fruit that would come...didn't want to count it all joy...didn't want the witty words and well-meaning verses...didn't want the pretty flowers...certainly didn't want to listen to any miracle stories...almost every promise from scripture or well-meaning words from Christians brought pain. I just wanted my babies. And I just wanted my mother. And...they weren't here...<br />
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For a time, I didn't want to hear about the promises and hope.<br />
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But...in time when, I did. I wanted to hold on to the promise of the joy set before me...wanted to know that although weeping may last for a night...joy would come in the morning. I didn't know when morning would come to my house and stay...but one day, on my knees, crying bitter tears...I felt myself surrender all that I had wanted and just let Him carry me. There's no formula or timetable to come to that place...and it sounds so easy and tied up in a pretty bow as I'm writing it right now. It wasn't. And, it wasn't a place I could come to on my own...<br />
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Here's the thing, I believe as the bible says, the rain falls on the just and the unjust. Whether we are Christians or not, we will find suffering and trouble in this world. It's a guarantee. We will walk through these valleys with or without Him. The bottom line is...I'd rather walk through it with Him than without Him.<br />
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There is unspeakable beauty that has grown in our lives from the ashes of our sorrow. I don't believe that God sent the sorrow and loss...and I never would have chosen it. But, He has used it to make us who we are...to draw us to Him...to teach us to love one another. I'm saying that, not to rub salt in your wounds, but to tell you that there is hope for healing. Even in this darkness...light can shine again.<br />
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And, Kristin...even when you can't feel Him, He is holding you. He will carry you...He is carrying you. When you are too weak to reach for Him, He still holds you. When you are too angry to hear Him...to go to Him...He waits for you. And...no matter how hurt, angry, deserted, lost, hopeless, broken...no matter how long it takes...He will wait for you. He will be there with open arms. He loves you with a relentless love. A love that can take your anger, your sorrow, your questioning, your doubt, your pain...<br />
His only intention is tTo love, heal, save, and carry you....<br />
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You, my dear, are not a failure....and no one has the right to judge your "performance" in the pits of grief. No one.<br />
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I hope you don't mind my long comment...and all of my words. Words that I know do nothing to "fix" the brokenness. Please know that they have all been written in love...my heart is breaking with you...<br />
I pray nothing I've said added to your pain...<br />
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Love and Continued prayers,<br />
Kelly<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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I know this post is getting long, but I wanted to share these thoughts for the mothers newly walking this path...or those with other struggles feeling hurt and wondering where God is in all of this. I've asked that a few times, and He is always faithful to answer. God loves honest, real questions. And, He loves to meet us where we are. There is no pit so deep He cannot find us. For further thoughts and scripture on where God is when we are in the pit of despair, visit this post:<a href="http://sufficientgrace-walkingwithyou.blogspot.com/2010/04/threads-of-hopeletting-go-and-holding.html"> Letting Go and Holding On</a>Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-8559931629668597742011-09-11T09:07:00.001-04:002011-09-11T17:10:43.881-04:00When the World Stopped Turning...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oVsPjpLdIaI/TmyrRcbQl8I/AAAAAAAABb8/wO-oGg3hYtA/s1600/flag.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oVsPjpLdIaI/TmyrRcbQl8I/AAAAAAAABb8/wO-oGg3hYtA/s320/flag.gif" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ten years ago, I had just finished nursing James. After laying him down for his morning nap, I turned on the news as I prepared to go to work at my part time job at our elementary school. My mom would be arriving soon to stay with him for my 2 1/2 hour work day.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The first plane hit. I froze, suddenly acutely tuned in as Matt and Katie tried to sort it all out from the TV. I watched as a second plane hit. The world stopped turning.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"It appears this was not an accident."</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">My knees buckled, and I sat in awe...as the news anchors tried to sort out what was happening.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Within minutes, news came that the Pentagon had been hit. The phone rang. My stepdad, asked "What's happening?"</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"We are under attack. Terrorists are here...in America. They hit the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. I don't know where Shannon is."</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">My thoughts raced to Shannon, my brother-in-law serving in the Marines as the crew chief for Marine One (the president's helicopter). Where was he today? Flying with the president? A dignitary? If he was landing on the helipad, he would be at the Pentagon...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The news shows President Bush reading to some children at a school in Florida. I vaguely hear that he will board Air Force One, not Marine One.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Reluctantly, although like every other mother in America, I just want to grab James from his crib and get Timothy from school and hold them close, I leave for work after mom's arrival. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The silence in the school halls was deafening. Our faces remain stoic so as not to alert the children. The only source of news is a radio in the office that tells us there is still a plane out there unaccounted for. We go through the motions, numb...gripped with fear...knowing that our world is forever changed. Not knowing what that may mean, or what more may be coming.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Not since Pearl Harbor has there been such a day. We see war torn countries on the news, enduring explosions and civilian casualties everyday. But, not here. Not in America.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ten years later, I sat in a Social Studies class where we spent two days remembering the events of September 11. Our Weekly Reader was devoted to the events of that day, and the heroes that emerged all over this country. Something beautiful arose from the ashes of destruction, as people joined together to give what they could for the rescue effort...to wave their flags...to weep together...to pray for this great land. The lessons inspired the young children, many of whom were just born or not even born when the events occurred, to talk with their parents about that day. And, everyone remembered where they were when the world stopped turning. A friend of mine put it in perspective when she mentioned how amazing it is that our children (10 and under) have never known an America without the threat of terrorists and war. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Our world changed that day, and our country. Forever changed.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">But, the steadfastness of our God remains secure.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">A friend of mine posted this scripture on facebook, and I found it fitting as we remember:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: grey; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><b>"Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: grey; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: grey; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><b> agains<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">t me,</span></b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: grey; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: grey; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><b> even then will I be confident." - Psalm 27:3<br />
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God is always in control. Let us never forget those who lost their lives on </b></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: grey; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: grey; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><b>9/11/01. </b></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><br />
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</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>Continued prayers for this great land...</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-56518555878723586352011-09-03T10:21:00.007-04:002011-09-28T15:54:15.791-04:00Ride4Grace 2011 The 3rd annual Ride4Grace, hosted by our friend Dave Amspoker, was held on Sunday August 21, 2011 beginning and ending at Abiding Hope Lutheran Church in Bowling Green, Ohio. There was a small group of bikers who came to show their support for SGM, including sweet <a href="http://www.caringforcarleigh.com/">Holly</a> and family. We are always grateful for those who take the time out of their busy schedules to help raise awareness and support for this mission so close to our hearts.<br />
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The run began with a prayer led by Dave.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/64maGBLjYfo" width="640"></iframe><br />
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After an ominous-cloud-covered beginning...<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The sun shone through...</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Love these cuties...</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">James loved this amazing work of art in the church lobby. It looks like just a drawing, but it has the entire New Testament written into it...as part of each line of the picture. Amazing!!</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rPzDR-GJCgY/TmIyfezmd7I/AAAAAAAABbc/Sw4EllIou6c/s1600/james+with+pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rPzDR-GJCgY/TmIyfezmd7I/AAAAAAAABbc/Sw4EllIou6c/s400/james+with+pic.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Tim and James getting things ready in the kitchen and waiting patiently for the bikers...still no motorcycle for Tim...sigh.</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Those who joined us enjoyed some delicious grilled hot dogs and ice cream sundaes.</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">It was hard to get a pic of these cuties that wasn't blurry!! They were on the move...</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Thanks so much to Dave, Brooke, our friends from the <a href="http://www.cmausa.org/">CMA</a>, and all of those that joined in to bless this year's Ride4Grace bike run. We appreciate your continued support of <a href="http://www.sufficientgrace.net/">Sufficient Grace Ministries</a>. To read more about the day, check out <a href="http://www.caringforcarleigh.com/2011/08/ride4grace-2011.html">Holly's post</a>.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-A00aYDCMgXo/TmJAVbSdMsI/AAAAAAAABb0/euYVtSboQIs/s1600/me+and+holly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="151" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-A00aYDCMgXo/TmJAVbSdMsI/AAAAAAAABb0/euYVtSboQIs/s200/me+and+holly.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-38656180885675142232011-08-31T21:21:00.002-04:002011-08-31T21:28:49.067-04:00Senior Pictures...and Mama Confessions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2qpbxYXEWec/Tl7GJPHE8DI/AAAAAAAABbE/adcIV_f6NiY/s1600/tim+with+guitar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2qpbxYXEWec/Tl7GJPHE8DI/AAAAAAAABbE/adcIV_f6NiY/s640/tim+with+guitar.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This is my senior boy. I know you've been hearing a bit about our first born lately around these blog-parts, and I promise I will post about something else soon. But truthfully, I'm a bit consumed by this fleeting time.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">My sweet friend <a href="http://www.marshallphotography.org/">Dawn Marshall</a> took his senior pictures last month and she let us share one here. They turned out great, don't you think?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">She also emailed me a copy of a pic she snapped before the one above. When Timothy took his guitar out of his case, it was a bit dusty. So, without skipping a beat, I did what mamas do. I dusted it off with the bottom of my skirt. Dawn, being a mama herself, was amused by the gesture. (Please ignore the fact that it was not my best side!)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Speaking of not my best side, I've been doing some thinking on the stuff we mamas do...the schedules we juggle, the guilt we carry, the things we forget, the things we'll never forget, the things we wish we could forget, and the things we want to remember forever, the things we mess up, and the moments when God's grace shines through and we breathe a satisfied sigh.I've been pondering the passing of time...the way everyone says that it will go so fast. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">They are so right.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I returned to my job as a paraprofessional at a local elementary school last week, and Timothy is in the thick of his very last high school golf season ever. SGM is busy and growing. Tim started his own business. And, James started middle school. I can feel the pull of my heart's desire to be the "keeper of my home" and the reality of the everyday demands of life. While I need to work, and enjoy my job working with special needs students, there are days when I would love to focus solely on the needs of my family...and bake some cookies. I've never felt like one of those people who could do it all. I try, but I mess it up.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I forget things, miss appointments, and constantly feel like I'm juggling and about to drop all the balls hanging in the air. A co-worker and fellow mama was sharing at lunch about her child's homework, and forgetting something.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I looked up and said, "I don't know how other working mothers do it. Some seem to have it all together. I stink at it!"</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And, I was thinking maybe I'm not the only mom who feels that way sometimes...whether we work outside of the home, or not. Maybe we all have moments when we feel like we are messing it all up. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">But, then, I look at my boy...almost all grown up. I remember the prayers I've prayed for his life...and the answers I've seen so far. I think about God's faithfulness, reflecting on all He has already done. Surely He isn't finished yet. His promises are the same for both my boys.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And, let me tell you...God hears the prayers of a mother.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I love that God is always big enough for everything that weighs on my mama-heart. I love that it's about His faithfulness...not my <i>inability t</i>o get it right. It's about His strength...made perfect through my weakness. Always and without fail.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I'm so grateful...and now if you'll excuse me...I think I'll go bake some cookies.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-27253807949129767362011-08-27T08:29:00.002-04:002011-08-27T09:51:38.698-04:00I'm Gonna Miss This<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-f7TV9DLgL1I/TljcKzIxtdI/AAAAAAAABaw/9RN99ZLvzC8/s1600/carrying+clubs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-f7TV9DLgL1I/TljcKzIxtdI/AAAAAAAABaw/9RN99ZLvzC8/s640/carrying+clubs.jpg" width="596" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">It's funny the things we notice when we're looking. The things that get our attention and stop time for a moment. Sights, sounds, smells that whisper, "This is something to stop and soak into the depths</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> of who you are...something to remember."</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">For me, it's the rhythmic clink-clack of golf clubs slung on the backs of my boys as they walk the course. They walk, and I follow, clubs clink-clacking...me, breathing it all in.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LFLW9NLCcNg/TljfK97zQMI/AAAAAAAABa0/seh2X_7MlOI/s1600/tim+and+taylor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LFLW9NLCcNg/TljfK97zQMI/AAAAAAAABa0/seh2X_7MlOI/s400/tim+and+taylor.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">It's the sound of summer...the sound of fall...the sound of boys - young, healthy, and strong for this moment...doing what they love.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Xu1rThxqHOM/TljgrAZ5rmI/AAAAAAAABa8/DpYVl1BYA9U/s1600/walking+with+dad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Xu1rThxqHOM/TljgrAZ5rmI/AAAAAAAABa8/DpYVl1BYA9U/s400/walking+with+dad.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">It's the sound of little brothers looking up to big brothers...and dads walking alongside.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">It's the sound of me, following behind...soaking it in.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-59614958370754317052011-08-22T12:26:00.000-04:002011-08-22T12:26:37.033-04:00The Haven NetworkI first read a blurb about <a href="http://www.thehavennetwork.org/">The Haven Network</a> a few years ago, shortly after learning about the concept of <a href="http://www.perinatalhospice.org/">perinatal hospice</a> and meeting Amy Kuebelbeck (author of <i>Waiting With Gabriel). </i>I was grazing through a list of perinatal hospice organizations, and stopped for moment when I read that The Haven Network was a Christian-based, non-profit organization, serving families who received a fatal diagnosis during pregnancy. Immediately something stirred in me. I knew that one day I'd like to make a connection with them and see what kind of work they do. Perinatal hospice was a fairly new concept, and I was quite intrigued with the idea that such a place could exist...a place where families facing a fatal pregnancy diagnosis could find support, encouragement, guidance, resources, and comfort. It is the very thing I wish existed when my family muddled our way through years ago, and some of what I longed to help provide for families myself through <a href="http://www.sufficientgrace.net/">Sufficient Grace Ministries</a>.<br />
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I came across the name again at some point, and found that The Haven Network was located in Rockford, Illinois...the same town my where my father lived. I thought that if I ever happened to visit my father, I would have to see if I could visit The Haven. Years passed, and we started serving families in our own way...through the <a href="http://sufficientgrace-dreamsofyou.blogspot.com/">Dreams of You Memory Book and Comfort Bears </a>and online support through families. I spoke at hospitals and women's groups...sharing about the hope and comfort God gives and about SGM.<br />
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Two weeks ago, while planning a spontaneous visit to finally see my father's home, I remembered The Haven Network. The whirlwind trip was going to be a busy one...with just the boys and me. So, I wasn't sure if I could pull it off. I had a fleeting thought about getting their contact information, when a mom named Laura that we had ministered to through SGM sent me a comment on facebook that Rockford, Illinois was the location of the perinatal hospice organization that walked with her in her time of need. She had such wonderful things to say about the ways they had offered her support. I quickly asked for their contact info., and she sent it. I contacted them and spoke with Jean who was receptive to meeting with me and arranged a time that fit into our busy schedules.<br />
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We met Saturday morning. Jean greeted me at the door of their beautiful building location on the river. I walked through the hallway, gazing at walls adorned with gorgeous black and white photographs that captured precious, yet brief lives. Baby feet, mamas and babies, hands holding one another...soaking in a lifetime of love and memories in a moment. Everything about the place was soothing and welcoming...honoring of life.<br />
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I met Kathy, who joined Jean in her office to share the mission they had for families who face the loss of their babies. They have a staff with a nurse (Kathy) and a photographer and a host of volunteers. I kept choking down the emotion as I looked around me, as if walking in a dream, my own dream and vision. I had longed to create such a place where families could come...a haven where there would be love and encouragement to continue a pregnancy with hope and dignity. A place where each precious life is treasured and a family is supported through the process....a place where someone will hold the hand of each mama and daddy and walk with them all the way. At one point I had to allow the emotion to come out...so overwhelmed to know that such an amazing, beautiful place exists for families like us. I felt such awe and gratitude to be standing in the room with the women who created such a place...the women who have made this their life's work. How I long to do the same.<br />
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I shared with them the story of <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2008/07/thomas-birthday.html">Faith, Grace, and Thomas</a>...with much emotion spilling over. And, I told them about starting Sufficient Grace in 2004 and operating out of my basement. Even as we sat in their beautiful building, they shared about starting in a basement in the beginning, as well. I gave them the Dreams of You Memory Books and other items I had brought to give in memory of Michael Vollmer.<br />
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They loved the books and I felt that we had been parts of a puzzle fit together in that moment, as I admired all that they had accomplished and they encouraged me on what we have accomplished. (All of us knowing that God was really the One that made it all possible!)<br />
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It was such a blessing to spend time sharing and exchanging ideas with like-minded ladies, with hearts of compassion for the same purpose...comforting grieving families. I hope to work with them in the future in whatever way our paths happen to cross again. It seems the Lord has plans for us, and I look forward to seeing what that might be! I hope you'll take a few moments to learn more about this wonderful organization and the services they provide for families. Praying God's continued blessings on the beautiful ladies from <a href="http://www.thehavennetwork.org/">The Haven Network</a>.<br />
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Pictured below: Jean, me, and Kathy<br />
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Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-63784205203215232432011-08-17T09:28:00.007-04:002011-09-28T15:54:46.045-04:00Leap of FaithI've been thinking about leaps of faith lately. I suppose mainly because our family is about to take a really big leap of faith. After 16 years working as a concrete and excavating foreman, my husband is starting his own business:<br />
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This decision has been bathed in prayer, and we continue to pray that God would bless the work of Tim's experienced, hard-working hands as we take the next steps.<br />
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I'd like to share some thoughts on taking leaps and not looking back...what God has been whispering to my heart in the wee hours of the morning and the quiet of the evening...<br />
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<div>In general, I have been granted great peace regarding this choice. Yesterday, I was gripped by some "did God really say" and "what if" questions. </div><div><br />
</div><div>This morning I awoke with the same questions and God immediately spoke truth to my heart. He led me to Psalm 77:11-15, which talks about remembering what the Lord has done...and the greatness of our God.</div><div><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">The idea of looking back was pressed on my heart. I have been thinking a lot about the Israelites and how God told them to leave Egypt and not to worry...that He would provide. I thought of Abraham. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">Abraham was asked to go and did so as well...trusting and believing without seeing. Hebrews 11:8 says "By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would received as an inheritance. <b>And, he went out, not knowing where he was going." </b></span></span><br />
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</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">This morning, Lot's wife crossed my mind. God told Lot to take his family and flee...not to look back. They didn't have time to pack their things...didn't know where they were going or how they would get what they needed. They were just supposed to trust God to provide....just to go and trust. Obey. But, Lot's wife looked back...and that's when the trouble came! (If you're unfamiliar with the story, Lot's wife turned into a pillar of salt when she looked back.)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">There wasn't some perfectly orchestrated elaborate plan laid out before them where they knew exactly where they would live and how they would eat and how it would all work. They had to wait on the Lord and trust Him to provide...trust Him to keep His promises. (Just so you know, I tend to be one of those people that really likes a perfectly orchestrated plan where I have a sense of security and control!)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The only time it's good to look back is when we are remembering what the Lord has done. It is never good to look back in longing for Egypt (the old ways or where we came from)...or as Lot's wife looked back.</span></b></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></b></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Are you struggling with a decision...feeling led to take a leap of faith...feeling tempted to look back and take your eyes off the Lord?</span></b></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">Another great verse: Exodus 14:13- 15 <i>"Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians who you see today, you shall see again no more forever. The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace. And the Lord said to Moses, 'Why do you cry to Me? Tell the children of Israel to go forward."</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"></span></span><br />
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</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">Just continuing to cling to Him...going forward...and taking the leap...trusting Him.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"></span></span><br />
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</span></div>Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-18116410872244432512011-08-15T02:38:00.004-04:002011-08-15T09:36:36.395-04:00Our Trip to Chicago and My DadThis weekend, I drove to Chicago. Alone with my boys.<br />
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If you know me in real life, you realize what a crazy big deal that is. I don't even like to drive on the highway an hour away! So, six hours on the turnpike, without Tim...now that's something! (Tim had work obligations, and couldn't join us.) But, I did it...and we survived. Sometimes you have to just pray, trust, and leap! I remember one of the lessons that hit home when my mother was battling cancer had to do with the song I Hope You Dance. The words: <i>Whenever you have the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance </i>were a message for me years ago. So, this weekend, I danced, driving to see my father's house for the first time, also to see my brother for the first time in close to a decade, and to meet with the ladies from The Haven Network. I'll be posting later this week about my visit to The Haven Network, as well as doing a special Chicago-style Traveling Food Fest. So stay tuned!<br />
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Tonight as I write this post, emotions and thoughts of family and ministry happenings tumbling around in my mind, I'm not sure where to begin.<br />
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Thursday, we left in the morning, beginning the six hour drive to the Chicago area. We stopped in South Bend, Indiana, to see Notre Dame, (Timothy's favorite college football team). He has always loved the movie Rudy, and it remains his favorite. After our visit, I have a hankering to watch some Rudy myself!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2sRvfm4iKeI/Tkiv3l_d6PI/AAAAAAAABZU/NoKJlaGK0-o/s1600/IMG_0531.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2sRvfm4iKeI/Tkiv3l_d6PI/AAAAAAAABZU/NoKJlaGK0-o/s400/IMG_0531.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And, yes, James is wearing an Ohio State jersey on the Notre Dame campus! =)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-T7F0-dGkZfk/TkiwjCkTRFI/AAAAAAAABZY/qUdjBf3yagk/s1600/me+and+tim+at+the+legends.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-T7F0-dGkZfk/TkiwjCkTRFI/AAAAAAAABZY/qUdjBf3yagk/s400/me+and+tim+at+the+legends.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">We had lunch at the Legends of Notre Dame restaurant. A really cool place, if you're a Notre Dame fan.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">We lingered for a couple hours, soaking in the architecture and the atmosphere, snapping pictures, and browsing the bookstore.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oZjRJDMp374/TkixPV4hPmI/AAAAAAAABZc/OxPDGE5vLxc/s1600/IMG_0551.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oZjRJDMp374/TkixPV4hPmI/AAAAAAAABZc/OxPDGE5vLxc/s400/IMG_0551.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">We arrived in Geneva a couple hours behind schedule, spent a moment freshening up in my dad's office located on the second floor of a historical red house with yellow trim, and took the short walk to the train station, through the kind of neighborhood you would read about in a book about a summer romance in a quaint town on the lake.. Much to James' delight, we boarded the train for the hour ride to Chicago.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0aUv-D4c3f4/TkiypA1xu8I/AAAAAAAABZg/-l28YihflZA/s1600/IMG_0555.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0aUv-D4c3f4/TkiypA1xu8I/AAAAAAAABZg/-l28YihflZA/s640/IMG_0555.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QXcGHqfAy6w/Tkiys8Lo3GI/AAAAAAAABZk/hB8fF-AksDk/s1600/james+on+train2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QXcGHqfAy6w/Tkiys8Lo3GI/AAAAAAAABZk/hB8fF-AksDk/s400/james+on+train2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-p6DK9bzp3s0/TkiyxkJtVEI/AAAAAAAABZo/eEiqHp3CcPY/s1600/me+and+james+on+train.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-p6DK9bzp3s0/TkiyxkJtVEI/AAAAAAAABZo/eEiqHp3CcPY/s400/me+and+james+on+train.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Downtown Chicago</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3Kf8FSp2uKY/Tki0LvMiPwI/AAAAAAAABZs/IQyZLqNEdf0/s1600/chicago.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3Kf8FSp2uKY/Tki0LvMiPwI/AAAAAAAABZs/IQyZLqNEdf0/s640/chicago.jpg" width="480" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">At Navy Pier</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-71AEKgnVw9g/Tki0TJUxDBI/AAAAAAAABZw/eWgWXheEfb4/s1600/me+and+kids+at+navy+pier2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-71AEKgnVw9g/Tki0TJUxDBI/AAAAAAAABZw/eWgWXheEfb4/s640/me+and+kids+at+navy+pier2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y8OifrHf044/Tki0Xs3QOXI/AAAAAAAABZ0/wajy7S8HAxQ/s1600/james+in+the+statue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y8OifrHf044/Tki0Xs3QOXI/AAAAAAAABZ0/wajy7S8HAxQ/s640/james+in+the+statue.jpg" width="394" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I hear they dye this river green on St. Patty's Day. Wouldn't it be fun to see that?</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VM9tZskGCOc/Tki0f9qL5uI/AAAAAAAABZ4/y-l2S35lN5Q/s1600/river.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VM9tZskGCOc/Tki0f9qL5uI/AAAAAAAABZ4/y-l2S35lN5Q/s640/river.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">My Dad, smoking his pipe, walking through Chicago. He has smoked a pipe for as long as I can remember.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IzIe-ZKvI3o/Tki1X8BlSSI/AAAAAAAABZ8/agBVj-YUJkA/s1600/dad+smoking+his+pipe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IzIe-ZKvI3o/Tki1X8BlSSI/AAAAAAAABZ8/agBVj-YUJkA/s400/dad+smoking+his+pipe.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fwmWdJKXEjQ/Tki1bm2gRTI/AAAAAAAABaA/kcPg1EYJvKw/s1600/dad+w+pipe+in+chicago.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fwmWdJKXEjQ/Tki1bm2gRTI/AAAAAAAABaA/kcPg1EYJvKw/s640/dad+w+pipe+in+chicago.jpg" width="364" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The boys and I with my Dad...</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HZ17OUuZrk8/Tki1tgYtjcI/AAAAAAAABaE/LZl0XkP-Bvo/s1600/dad%252C+me%252C+kids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HZ17OUuZrk8/Tki1tgYtjcI/AAAAAAAABaE/LZl0XkP-Bvo/s400/dad%252C+me%252C+kids.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">After our Chicago visit, we drove to my father's home in Rockford, Illinois. We spent the next few days meeting friends, neighbors, and my dad's wife, Carol's side of the family.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Emu7Ujntprg/Tki22PYK2uI/AAAAAAAABaI/7Wr1Lta3jd4/s1600/family+pic+rockford.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Emu7Ujntprg/Tki22PYK2uI/AAAAAAAABaI/7Wr1Lta3jd4/s640/family+pic+rockford.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This is my handsome brother Colin. On Friday night, we rode with my dad to Milwaukee to pick him up at the airport.</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EZpDUFYQNTk/Tki26hAVoAI/AAAAAAAABaM/CutJFH72etg/s1600/colin+and+me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EZpDUFYQNTk/Tki26hAVoAI/AAAAAAAABaM/CutJFH72etg/s400/colin+and+me.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">During my visit, we flipped through photo albums filled with pictures I had never seen before. Like this one of my dad holding me as a baby. I love this one, because he is wearing a fisherman's sweater. Fisherman sweaters always remind me of my Irish dad.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Pa0ExdnKm3E/Tki6ZrRT9dI/AAAAAAAABaY/X7SXFOD4p1Q/s1600/dad+and+baby+me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Pa0ExdnKm3E/Tki6ZrRT9dI/AAAAAAAABaY/X7SXFOD4p1Q/s400/dad+and+baby+me.jpg" width="336" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And this one...both of us so young. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lk30EwXBuj8/Tki5XrTwVUI/AAAAAAAABaQ/QiboGWtHBEI/s1600/baby+me+and+dad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lk30EwXBuj8/Tki5XrTwVUI/AAAAAAAABaQ/QiboGWtHBEI/s400/baby+me+and+dad.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And my grandparents, who both passed away years ago. </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LeyTp3CkWGA/Tki5aLfAvNI/AAAAAAAABaU/LZeUnaA2g3o/s1600/grandma+and+grandpa+keedy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LeyTp3CkWGA/Tki5aLfAvNI/AAAAAAAABaU/LZeUnaA2g3o/s400/grandma+and+grandpa+keedy.jpg" width="351" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">As I turned the pages of the albums, I reflected on the memories. And, the mystery of time and love...of roots and connections and family. We love the best we can. We do the best we can, being the flawed vessels that we are. God is teaching me about love, gently and patiently...freeing, grace-filled love. Have you ever considered that it is no accident the people God places in our lives? Whoever they are and however they stumbled into our lives, we have the opportunity to love them.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The family we know well, the family we know little of, the friends we share laughter and tears with, our neighbors, even those that drive us crazy and push all of our buttons. Even fleeting meetings with random strangers. Every encounter we have is an opportunity to show love and grace to another soul. What if we lived that way? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">He is teaching me. And, I'm trying to learn...slowly and clumsily, like flawed vessels do.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-61252828753190484742011-08-09T10:08:00.000-04:002011-09-05T08:32:59.758-04:00Put it AwayOver the years, and even most recently, I have heard many of you share that your family and friends were less than supportive of your grief over the loss of your child. We posted on some of the original Walking With You posts about this subject. There are many reasons: maybe they are struggling with their own grief and have difficulty expressing it, or maybe they are uncomfortable and just do not know the right words. Unfortunately that leads many to just act like they don't care, fail to even acknowledge our children, avoid the subject or even avoid us, or worse...speak words that add to the hurt.<br /><div><br /></div><div>I posted a bit about it here:</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2009/08/walking-with-you-things-people-say.html">The Things People Say</a></div><div><a href="http://sufficientgrace-walkingwithyou.blogspot.com/2010/10/supporting-grieving-motherwhat-you-can.html">Supporting a Grieving Mom</a></div><div><br /></div><div>But, for this post, I would like to focus instead on how we can cope with their reactions or lack thereof. While it has been many years since we said good-bye to our Faith, Grace, and Thomas, reading your struggles has made the sting of our family's reaction fresh on my heart this morning. And, before this launches into a finger-pointing, hurt-wallowing session, let me just say that while the memories still come with a sting, I have forgiven those hurts. I now realize that they were doing the best they could. Even if some of them reacted in ways that were hurtful to us, it was done out of lack of knowledge more than malice. God provided support for us in other ways. Over the years, I have learned to lay down my expectations for family. And, sometimes I have had to re-learn this again and again as new hurts arise. Sometimes love requires<a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/06/kind-of-love-that-lays-it-all-down.html"> laying it all down.</a></div><div><br /></div><div>That being said, I realize for many of you, the wounds are too fresh for full healing...the hurt still too intense for relief. It may surprise you to know that I didn't know that I could publicly embrace the memory of my children in the early years of grief. I often felt compelled to put my feelings away to spare the discomfort of others. Sometimes I didn't want to see the expression on their faces as their eyes shifted down and they squirmed uncomfortably when I shared about my children in heaven. I didn't want to seem like the weird mother who thinks she needs to keep bringing up her dead babies, making everyone around me uncomfortable. Yeah...I know....the initial lack of openness seems pretty crazy considering God has placed a passion in my heart to serve in a ministry that honors the lives of these sweet little ones. </div><div><br /></div><div>People gave us some ornaments the first year to honor the memory of Faith and Grace, and it seemed at first that many friends reached out. The same month they were born still, another set of twin girls was born in our family. To comfort herself, and because she was genuinely excited about filling her own arms with these grandbabies, my mother threw herself into spending time with them. She had no idea that it felt like a punch in the gut to me when I walked into her house and saw two identical baby girl dresses slung across the chair. She had no idea that I went into the other room and cried, feeling sick when I saw their pictures on her refrigerator. Not that she shouldn't have been embracing the gift of their lives...certainly for them, it was a time to rejoice. But, for me...it was agony. What made it harder is that I could never have shared that with my mom. I don't share this often, because in many ways, my mother was a great support to me in my life. But, there were things about grief she didn't get.</div><div><br /></div><div>My mother expected me to put my grief away after a time. When a friend of mine had her baby shortly after I lost my girls, mom said: "I know what will make you feel better. We'll go to the baby department and pick up a new outfit and visit your friend."</div><div><br /></div><div>So, she drug my grief-weary self to the baby department (a place that still brings a twinge of pain to this day), while my wounds were still gaping, and to add insult to injury...a trip to visit my friend's brand new baby...in the hospital. She even made me hold him. It was all I could do to keep the sobs in until I reached the elevator. She looked disappointed by my tears. As if she thought forcing myself to visit the OB floor and hold someone else's baby would magically make me all better.</div><div><br /></div><div>Other family members said hurtful things, ignored us, never mentioned our children, looked uncomfortable if I did. And, still sometimes look uncomfortable, even now that we have a public ministry. </div><div><br /></div><div>And, for years...I put it all away. Stuffing it far down. Hiding my hurt. Keeping the memories and longing to myself. Failing to mention my precious babies. I put it away because it was expected....and because I didn't want to draw attention or make others uncomfortable. It's shameful, really, but I also understand that it's hard to defend yourself in early grief. It's hard to know what you need. It's hard to take the next breath.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Here are a few ideas for survival in those early years:</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>You may not be strong enough to defend yourself, so find someone who loves you that is able to deflect hurtful comments and situations. </b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>Know what triggers hurt for you, and do what is necessary to protect yourself. We cannot keep ourselves from every hurtful situation, but when we can it's more than o.k. to do so. If the baby shower is going to be too hard to attend, graciously decline.</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>Take time as a couple...allow laughter when you can.</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>Find someone who gets it. This blogging community has been so helpful...even years later...for me and for many others. It helps to know we aren't walking alone. And it helps to know in the early days of grief, that you will not feel this way forever. You will feel joy again.</b></div><div><br /></div><div>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</div><div><br /></div><div>Have you ever felt you had to hide your grief and put away all your memories? What are some of the things you found helpful in dealing with others who didn't get it?</div>Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-39735641182131655142011-08-07T20:27:00.006-04:002011-09-28T15:55:16.610-04:00Unlikely Blooms ~ Enduring Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8UgMiDmk_Rg/Tj8e9Lo73zI/AAAAAAAABY8/-2hJViGrMVw/s1600/petunia2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8UgMiDmk_Rg/Tj8e9Lo73zI/AAAAAAAABY8/-2hJViGrMVw/s640/petunia2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">A couple weeks ago, Timothy and I spent the morning with my friend Dawn and her husband Steven, from <a href="http://www.marshallphotography.org/">Marshall Photography</a>. We stood on the golf course as he swung with natural rhythm and posed every once in awhile. Later, we walked down alleys in the midst of midday downtown busyness...alleys with stories untold and chipped paint from years of standing silent. Tim played his guitar as Dawn's camera clicked away, and I stood in awe that my oldest son has grown into a man that can create such beauty as his fingers glide across guitar strings. I was glad he couldn't see my eyes filling with tears under my big brown leopard-print sunglasses. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5SK6rfh1KP8/Tj8tEoOblUI/AAAAAAAABZA/IKlzsbmEuzw/s1600/tim+alley+senior+pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5SK6rfh1KP8/Tj8tEoOblUI/AAAAAAAABZA/IKlzsbmEuzw/s400/tim+alley+senior+pic.jpg" width="328" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">But more on all that later. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Right now, I wanted to talk about the picture at the top of this post. I snapped it when we were walking down one of the time-worn alleys. God often works in themes, as I've mentioned before. And the lovely white petunia sprouting up from the concrete-covered ground, against the brick building reminded me of one of those recent themes He has been revealing to my heart. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The kind of love that suffers long and is kind. The kind of love that never fails. The dying to yourself, <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/06/kind-of-love-that-lays-it-all-down.html">laying it all down kind of love</a>. The kind of love that always hopes, always endures. The kind of love that is full of gentleness, yet strong and determined enough to push up through concrete and bloom, shining forth beauty and life where there was none.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I have spent some time at the bedside of those in the twilight hours of their earthly lives, watching the valley of the shadow of death pass over. And, there is one thing that is certain. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">All that matters in that moment, is the love we share. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">It isn't the running to and fro, the fretting over schedules and bills, the daily tasks of keeping order, the petty things that drive us crazy, the gray hairs and extra padding we carry around, the way we are perceived by others, our successes, our failures, our careers or lack of. It isn't a decision weighing on our minds, our checkbook balances, our last names, our abilities, or the size of our waistline. It isn't even the hurts or the arguments. It isn't the words we can't take back or those we left unsaid. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">All that matters...all that remains when we lie stripped of all earthly glory and gray from death's shadow...all that matters is love. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Nitty gritty, soul laid bare...love. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Every circumstance in life, no matter how crooked and</i></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i> distorted and ugly it appears to be, if it is reacted to in love</i></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 14px;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 14px;"><i> and forgiveness and obedience to Your (God's) will can be </i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 14px;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 14px;"><i>transformed...." </i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 14px;">From the book: Hinds' Feet on High Places.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">That's the kind of love that God wants from us. The kind that blooms despite impossible odds. Transforming, </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">redeeming, life-giving, grace-filled love. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The way that He loves us...the kind of love that never stops and never gives up. The kind of love that covers a </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">multitude of wrongs. The kind of love that means we are never separated from Him.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Because of His love, I am like that petunia, growing against all odds in a place I never should have grown. </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">The impossible, made possible. Blooming when I should have shriveled and died.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"> Living instead. Thriving </span>even. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Many of you are like that petunia, as well. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">Because of His great, life-giving love.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And, since love is all that matters...</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I will be driving to Chicago later this week, with my kids (Tim has to work) to see my father. It has been a few years since we've seen him, and I have never been to his house. While I am, in general, a big chicken when it comes to driving, I made a promise to Tim, myself, our boys, and most of all to the Lord that I would not let another summer pass without making the trip. So, even though Tim is unable to join us due to work demands, after much prayer, we have decided to take a leap and go. After all, God has not given us a spirit of fear! I will also be taking some time to meet with the amazing staff from <a href="http://www.thehavennetwork.org/">The Haven Network </a>while we're there. Please keep our travel and the meeting in prayer! </span></span></div>Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-73909435648923042542011-08-04T08:35:00.002-04:002011-08-04T08:59:14.874-04:00Warrior Prayers for Our Boys <img height="400" src="http://i988.photobucket.com/albums/af10/insightblogdesign/WarriorPrayersButton.jpg" width="400" /><br />
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I'm always late to the party. But, I wanted to share something really great with all of you. My dear bloggy friend, <a href="http://www.septembermccarthy.com/2011/08/are-you-in.html?spref=fb">September i</a>s asking moms to join her in committing to praying for our boys for 21 days using the ebook <a href="http://www.brookemcglothlin.com/warriorprayers/the-ebook/">Warrior Prayers</a>, which can be downloaded <a href="http://www.brookemcglothlin.com/warriorprayers/the-ebook/">here</a>. You can also download it for your Kindle on <a href="http://www.amazon.com/">Amazon</a>.<br />
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I believe September began the journey a couple days ago, but I just started and caught up (I think). This is a great book, encouraging moms to do the most they can for their boys to help them become godly men: PRAY. And, the technique the author uses is especially effective: praying scripture, something we have done for years in our <a href="http://www.momsintouch.org/">Moms in Touch</a> prayer groups. This book is full of scripture to pray <i>specifically </i>for boys. I love it!! And highly recommend it. Hope you will click over and read sweet September's blog and join in. It will be well worth your time!<br />
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Have a beautiful day! And, don't forget there's still time to enter to win a copy of another great book: <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/07/hinds-feet-on-high-places-giveawayand.html">Hinds' Feet on High Places</a>.Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-76932554822224518792011-08-03T08:29:00.004-04:002011-08-03T10:05:25.243-04:00Time to do Some Rejoicing!!! (Tug Update)There is a part of me that struggles still with those who are only apt to praise God when prayers are answered in a way we can see with our eyes...when healing takes place on this earth. Not because I think it's wrong to praise God. On the contrary, His praise should be shouted from the rooftops. But, He is to be praised in whatever way our prayers are answered. Praising God has nothing to do with our circumstances or even what He does for us, but everything to do with Who He is! I spent many years repelled at the insinuation that the righteous get their prayers answered always in the ways they hoped...because of their faith, their loved one was physically healed. I learned, of course, that there are all types of healing. Sometimes God heals on this earth. Sometimes He heals by taking us Home to heaven. Sometimes He restores a broken body and sometimes He mends a broken soul. In all of it, He is faithful. In all of it, He is worthy of our praise. And, none of it has to do with our worthiness or a measure of His love for us. I learned a lot about surrendering what I thought healing looked like...surrendering my will as I prayed. Believing and trusting no matter what. It is an interesting walk...knowing that we serve a God who<i> can </i>do anything...heal and restore anything...and trusting <i>His</i> way to do it, even if it isn't the way we hoped or expected.<br />
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Many times I have talked about <i>weeping with those who weep.</i>..and we do a lot of that here. We weep often for mothers with empty arms, hurting and aching alongside so many as we lift understanding prayers of comfort on their behalf. But, we also embrace the second part of the verse...<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Rejoice with those who rejoice...</span><br />
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Ginny and I learned about weeping and rejoicing many years ago, as we both carried children in our wombs. My twin daughters and later our son Thomas were born into the arms of Jesus, and her sweet son came home to fill her house with life. It was my time to weep and hers to rejoice, and yet she graciously set aside her rejoicing often....to weep with me. I tried to reciprocate, to set aside my weeping and rejoice, but I'm sure my efforts were less successful. In fact, I was barely able to lift my head, let alone fully rejoice with her.<br />
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But, today...after spending weeks on our knees on behalf of Ginny's son<a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/07/whole-lot-of-heavyplease-pray.html"> Tug</a>. After weeping and weeping before the Lord, pleading for the kind of miracle that we can see with our eyes this side of heaven...even as we trust and surrender. Today, we rejoice with all of our might. Today, we dance and sing with tears of joy and laughter on our lips. We rejoice with a family that never stopped praising and trusting...even in this storm.<br />
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<b><a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/07/whole-lot-of-heavyplease-pray.html">Tug </a>is not only awake from his coma, but he has been transferred to another hospital where he is having intense rehabilitation. He is working so hard and can now talk, eat, and walk...things that just days ago were not possible for him. And, just to give you a window into this boy's precious heart...one of the things he said in these first days of talking (other than stuff about playing and soccer!):</b><br />
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<b>To his mom: "Thank you for doing everything for me."</b><br />
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Thank you for praying for this family. Thank you for weeping...and for rejoicing with us. Please continue to pray as Tug works toward full recovery.<br />
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Our God is an awesome God!!!Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-32828398043620581942011-07-29T09:52:00.007-04:002011-09-28T15:57:05.923-04:00Hinds' Feet on High Places (Giveaway)...And Some Precious God-Whispers of TruthCONTEST CLOSED: WINNERS TO BE ANNOUNCED SOON!<br />
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Many of you have probably heard of the classic, <i>Hinds' Feet on High Places</i> by Hannah Hurnard. <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/search/label/dinah">Dinah</a> always wanted me to read it. We would chat for hours about the spiritual lessons that God was teaching us and the mysterious ways that he would weave His truth and grace into the tapestry of our lives.<br />
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When I talked of the ways that God brings beauty from suffering and restoration out of brokenness, strength from weakness, and grace that is always sufficient...as I walked through grief and pain and found sweet healing, Dinah would say: "You really need to read <i>Hinds' Feet on High Places"</i>.<br />
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Dinah went home to heaven this past February, and a month or two or three (I'm not really good with time these days) later, when I was in the thick of "the missing", my friend <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2010/02/gathering-helping-hands-and-comfort.html">Joyce</a> handed me the book. (Joyce is also one of our faithful, hard-working <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2010/02/gathering-helping-hands-and-comfort.html">Comfort Bear ladies</a>.) O.K....o.k., I conceded. Obviously this is a book God wanted me to read! I could just picture Dinah nudging the Lord..."Tell Joyce to have Kelly read this book...she really needs to read it." Now I'm not sure if that's how it works in heaven, but down here on Earth, Dinah's constant suggestions and persistence were quite effective. I wouldn't put it past her, that's for sure.<br />
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Anyway, I started to read the book, and sat astounded at the parallels in my Christian walk as I related to little Much-Afraid with all of her flaws and weaknesses as she struggled to resist her Fearful relatives. Some of the truths that spoke to my heart in this book are the very truths God has revealed to me over the years, as I walked my own path toward the high places, resisting the tools of The Enemy, desperate to know the kind of love that never leaves, embarking on the journey holding the Shepherd's hand, learning about acceptance with joy in my own desolate Valley of Loss, embracing the surrender that comes from having Sorrow and Suffering (who later became Peace and Joy) as companions, realizing that such journeys lead to the transformation from Much-Afraid to Grace and Glory.<br />
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All of the truths I have clung to and battled deception with...the very truths I have claimed as my own...truths that defined my walk over the past seventeen years of clinging to God... painted in word pictures by a woman years ago. Even the place I am in now of learning about the<a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/06/kind-of-love-that-lays-it-all-down.html"> love that lays it all down</a>...it's in there. I thought how silly to think that it is just <i>my</i> walk she is describing, even as the words resonated with my inner core. This is the walk for <i>all </i>who choose to follow Him. Our paths may not look exactly the same, but the truths...the lessons...are all the same. This is one of the most beautiful and perfect descriptions I have read of the ways God works in our lives. Of course, I'm sure it only scratches the surface of His deep mysterious ways.<br />
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I just want to share an excerpt that depicts the essence of the lessons that God has taught and is teaching me. I have spoken of this same truth over the course of my life, but never as eloquently or perfectly as the author shares in this incredible book:<br />
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<i><b>"First," said she, "I learnt that I must accept with joy all that You allowed to happen to me on the way and everything to which the path led me! That I was never to try to evade it but to accept it and lay down my own will on the altar and say, "Behold me I am Thy handmaiden Acceptance-with-Joy."</b></i><br />
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<i><b>"Then I learnt that I must bear all that others were allowed to do against me and to forgive with no trace of bitterness and to say to Thee, 'Behold me - I am Thy little handmaiden Bearing-with-Love', that I may receive power to bring good out of this evil."</b></i><br />
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<i><b>"The third thing that I learnt was that You, my Lord, never regarded me as I actually was, lame and weak and crooked and cowardly. You saw me as I would be when you brought me to the High Places, when it could be truly said, 'There is none that walks with such queenly ease, nor with such grace, as she.'</b></i><br />
<i><b>..."My Lord, I cannot tell You how greatly I want to regard others in the same way."</b></i><br />
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O.K....I just have to interrupt Much-Afraid's commentary for a moment and say...Do you realize that is the very essence of what God wants for us...to love others and see others as He does? He doesn't want us to look on them the way they are...but the way they will be when they are made perfect one day in heaven's glory, without the muck and sin in this world. Oh Lord, put that love into our hearts. O.K....back to Much-Afraid and what she learned. (Even though the author likes to say "learnt", which I must admit pains me to type.)<br />
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<i><b>"The fourth thing," said she with a radiant face, "was really the first I learnt up here. Every circumstance in life, no matter how crooked and distorted and ugly it appears to be, if it is reacted to in love and forgiveness and obedience to Your will can be transformed...."</b></i><br />
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It may seem like I gave the most precious nuggets of this book away, but believe me when I say that you must take the entire journey of reading this book to fully grasp it's meaning...to fully experience the truth God is whispering about this journey.<br />
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For this is the story of every Christian's journey...the one we are meant to walk. The love God pours into our lives is meant to overflow into the lives of those around us. And, everything we experience has a purpose in leading us to being the person He created us to be.<br />
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Thank you, Dinah and thank you Joyce for sharing this book with me. I'm sure I should have read it years ago, but I was busy living it. I have ordered a few copies to share with others, because it really is a precious picture of the way God works in our hearts to transform us. Truly one of the best books I've ever read...and that's saying a lot!<br />
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<b>So, of course, I want to give a few copies of this treasure away on this post. Just leave a comment to enter.</b><br />
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<b>In other news...for those praying for Tug, there is a VERY important update at the bottom of <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/07/whole-lot-of-heavyplease-pray.html">this post</a>....click over and join us in rejoicing for all God is doing. And, please keep praying as the journey isn't over!! Thank you so much!</b>Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-5546856679874567082011-07-27T14:27:00.000-04:002011-07-27T14:27:15.409-04:00A Hodge Podge of Updates, Links, and Other Random StuffMy friend Mattie is hosting a fun online auction to help "Bring Hope Home". Click on over and check out the items up for bid. Your support will help their family's quest to adopt a child.<br />
<a border="0" href="http://help-bring-hope-home.blogspot.com/search/label/Online%20Auction" target="_blank"><img src="http://i915.photobucket.com/albums/ac352/mattie_wells/auctionbutton2-1.jpg" /></a><br />
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I've been meaning to share that a couple sweet friends from our church family have started blogging. One is our assistant pastor, Rene. He blogs about faith and running. Check out his blog: <a href="http://runfight.com/">RunFight </a>and tell him I sent you!<br />
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Also, Rene's cute wife, Shannon blogs at: <a href="http://strengthandcouragecards.blogspot.com/">Strength and Courage</a>. Shannon makes really cute cards for various occasions. She has such a precious heart for the Lord, and is a beautiful wife and mama with the sweetest spirit of encouragement. Rene and Shannon have a really neat testimony and a great love story. I hope they will share it sometime. And, I hope you will take a minute to pop over and welcome them to blogland!<br />
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We've been busy as ever with golf, baseball, and SGM work. Our band One Way is working on a couple upcoming music events. And, we continue to receive and distribute <a href="http://sufficientgrace-dreamsofyou.blogspot.com/">Dreams of You</a> orders for bereaved parents all over the country and beyond. <strong>Our friend Dave will be hosting the annual Ride4Grace motorcycle run event on Sunday August 21, 2011.</strong> <br />
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Thank you to those of you who have been praying for <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/07/whole-lot-of-heavyplease-pray.html">Tug,</a> the son of my dear friend, who was recently in a car accident. You can keep on on Tug's progress by reading the <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/07/whole-lot-of-heavyplease-pray.html">original post</a>...updates will be at the bottom. Also, due to the mounting medical expenses and time off work for the parents, friends are taking a collection to help support this family. Those who feel led to donate in this way can use the SGM donate button on the right sidebar and write "For Tug" in the notes/message section of the paypal donation form. Please keep praying for this family and for Tug to have a full recovery and healing.<br />
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We are going to be doing a major blog/website overhaul soon and switching to Wordpress. I would really like to get the word out about SGM. So many times we hear from families that say they wish they would have known we were here when they were walking through their losses. That is so discouraging...to know that we could have helped someone and missed the opportunity. So, I would love to find ways to spread the word that we are here and continue to be more effective in supporting grieving families. <br />
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You can help by answering a few questions.<br />
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1. What kinds of posts are most relevant to you as a reader?<br />
<br />
entertaining/funny<br />
bereavement support<br />
biblical encouragement/bible study<br />
heartfelt stories<br />
everyday random stuff<br />
<br />
2. We began<a href="http://sufficientgrace-walkingwithyou.blogspot.com/"> Walking With You</a> a couple years ago in an effort to make sure that families could feel supported on this journey. As time goes on, many families have moved to a different place in their walk, but there are new families out there in need of support. Does anyone have an idea of how we can continue to reach out and support one another in the various places each is on this walk? What was most helpful to you in working through your grief...as far as finding support in the blogging community?<br />
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3. How can we better serve families? What are some of the resources you have found most helpful in your grief? <br />
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4. In an effort to help more families have access to the Dreams of You materials, what do you think about having people in each state willing to donate materials to local hospitals?Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-42644184390678101592011-07-19T23:36:00.003-04:002011-07-20T00:26:50.819-04:00Traveling Food Fest 2011 - The Quest for the Best Strawberry Frozen LemonadeWe are knee deep in vacation bible school week, and it's a hot one. Going to surpass 100 degrees this week...and we are feeling every sticky inch of it. HOT TAMALES! <br />
<br />
So, I thought it was a good time to report some recent findings...after, ahem, some extensive research (that may or may not have included some lunch eating with my Tracy-girl). The matter at hand: <strong>Who has the best strawberry frozen lemonade?</strong> I know, it's a really important question. Bet you are just sitting on the edge of your seat, desperate to know my findings. Hee hee.<br />
<br />
(Sorry that I don't have pictures to entice you further, as you await this incredibly pertinent information.)<br />
<br />
O.k., here's what we know...<br />
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I have been having a summer fling, an outright love affair if you will, with McDonalds Frozen strawberry lemonade. Now, I am hoping this doesn't cause an uproar. Because, I mentioned this on facebook, and it turns out that people had some strong feelings about this subject...and did not share my love for the sweet and sour nectar that is the McDonald's strawberry frozen lemonade. It's a forbidden love, perhaps. But, if loving my lemonade is wrong...then, I don't want to be right!<br />
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I wasn't even deterred when a dear facebook friend said that she couldn't finish hers and that it tasted like cleaner. Nope, I enjoyed both the consistency and the taste of my lemonade and returned time and time again for this summertime treat. <br />
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To further my quest, I tried the frozen strawberry lemonade at Applebees. I have to admit, although it pains me a bit to say, that the Applebees lemonade did edge out McDonalds on taste. It was the perfect blend of strawberry sweetness and lemonade sour. Not even a hint of the aforementioned "cleaner" taste. But, the problem came when I slurped away, struggling to get the lemony goodness into the straw. I sat thirstily waiting for the drink to melt enough for me to be able to slurp it up. It was frustrating and, quite frankly not worth the effort. The consistency was all wrong. So, I would have to say that McDonalds frozen lemonade wins, because I can't have frustration interrupting my bliss when spending quality time with a frozen summer drink.<br />
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The third test was held at Panera. I LOVE Panera's regular lemonade, so I may have set the bar too high. Definitely should have lowered my expectations, because when I took a couple sips of Panera's version of the strawberry lemonade, my face wrinkled up, and I shook my head. This was no frozen strawberry lemonade. It was all kinds of wrong. <br />
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I looked at it and declared aloud, "You call yourself a frozen strawberry lemonade? You are not!!" <br />
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You see, I expect my summery lemonade treats to be fruity, not creamy. This drink was a little lemonade with a milky strawberry smoothie type concoction. Blech. I'm not even sure what they were thinking, but it certainly wasn't what I expected. I generally love everything about Panera. Good lemonade. Delicious breads, soups, and sandwiches. Most of the time, I am all kinds of happy and satisfied by Panera. But, their frozen strawberry lemonade...not so much. Not at all. Two thumbs down and a big toe.<br />
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So...that leaves McDonalds as the current reigning winner of the best strawberry frozen lemonade. I know many of you may have strong opinions on these controversial findings...and that's o.k. However, I can't help but think that the search isn't over. It seems there has to be a better option out there somewhere. If you have a suggestion, I'm open. You don't have to ask me twice. It's a tough job...researching frozen strawberry lemonades...but I'm willing to take one for the team. <br />
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If you agree or disagree with my findings, I'd love to hear your thoughts! What are your favorite summer "cool-me-down" drinks? <br />
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P.S. Please keep praying for <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/07/whole-lot-of-heavyplease-pray.html">Tug</a>. I will continue to post updates on his condition on<a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/07/whole-lot-of-heavyplease-pray.html"> this post</a>.Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-1528218342988366772011-07-15T11:41:00.011-04:002011-08-03T08:30:41.438-04:00UPDATE: A Whole Lot of Heavy...Please Pray<b>Huge update:</b><br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/07/whole-lot-of-heavyplease-pray.html">Tug </a>is not only awake from his coma, but he has been transferred to another hospital where he is having intense rehabilitation. He is working so hard and can now talk, eat, and walk...things that just days ago were not possible for him. And, just to give you a window into this boy's precious heart...one of the things he said in these first days of talking (other than stuff about playing and soccer!):</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">To his mom: "Thank you for doing everything for me."</div><div><br />
</div><br />
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Original post: <br />
I was going to post something fun today...a Traveling Food Fest 2011 Post. Something light and happy..but it will have to wait. <br />
<br />
Life is full of a whole lot of heavy. <br />
<br />
So, I'm here instead asking for your prayers for an old friend...a fellow mother and sister in Christ. She is the first person I told when I was expecting our oldest son, Timothy. She is the one who re-introduced me to Jesus, leading me to the Lord, when my family was young and new and I was floundering. She led me to my church family. She walked with me early in marriage, so that we could learn how do this wife/mother thing together. Together is always better than alone. She is the only person I wanted (other than my mom) in the hospital room when I could barely lift my head during the difficult pregnancy with Faith and Grace. She sat with me in the weeks after their passing, answering my door, my phone, running my errands...while I curled into a ball and cried. She listened endlessly and loved my children as her own. And, I felt the same about hers. She walked with me again while we waited for our Thomas...eating seven layer chocolate cake at Cooker's to dull the pain of those hard days of planning a funeral while we prayed for a miracle. She was one of the few people on this earth that held our Thomas, not shying away...looking on his beauty with me...enjoying his pinky toe, sharing his special gift to us. She and <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/02/things-dinah-said.html">Dinah</a> held a baby shower for our now 10 year old miracle, James...hoping with me...embracing joy with me...walking with me.<br />
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She laid her life down for me over and over again. It was a special friendship...one you don't see everyday. But, our lives changed and our paths changed. We still love each other, although we have rarely talked in recent years. She is a beautiful mother...a beautiful woman...a beautiful friend, with the voice of an angel and a compassionate servant's heart. <br />
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<strong><em>But, today she is sitting by the hospital bed of her son. Her oldest daughter (16) and youngest son (middle school age) were in a car accident yesterday. Her son sustained extensive injuries, and this family needs our urgent...on our knees...heartfelt prayers. Please join your prayers with ours for this family...for this mother...and for her sweet boy and beautiful daughter. Please walk with the friend who spent so much time in the valley walking with me.</em></strong><br />
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<strong>UPDATE as of Saturday July 17th:</strong><br />
The daughter (16) was released from the hospital on Friday. The son (age 11), nicknamed Tug, remains in a coma with several injuries. He has opened his eyes briefly, but remains unconscious. PLEASE continue to pray during these critical first days. Pray for complete healing...for comfort and strength...and for peace for his family.<br />
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<strong>Family and friends are also taking a collection locally to help this family with all of the expenses involved with the hospital stay and recovery. If you feel led to support in this way, you can use the donate button on our page (normally reserved for <a href="http://www.sufficientgrace.net/">Sufficient Grace Ministries</a> donations) and just list "For Tug" in the note section, so the funds are properly dispersed.</strong><br />
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Thank you so much for your prayers, and please keep them coming. God is faithful. He is our refuge and our strength. We continue to cling to Him and trust Him to carry Tug and his family through this time...<br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">I heard that Tug's favorite Psalm is Psalm 91 and one good idea was to pray that Psalm with his name inserted in. It would be wonderful if we could pray God's powerful word for this sweet boy!! James and I did so tonight. Hope many of you will take the time to do the same. However you are led, PLEASE PRAY!</span></strong><br />
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<strong>Update as of Monday evening: </strong>Although still in a coma, Tug is showing some reactions to those around him...growing agitated...and even sitting up a bit and trying to open his eyes to see people. We are standing with this family in prayer and believe God is working to heal Tug. Please keep praying! Go God...and Go Tug!<br />
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<strong>Update Tuesday and Wednesday:</strong> Tug responded to a command today with a thumbs up!! That is the first time he has been able to do that, and it is a good sign!! Also, please continue to pray for Tug that he will have peace and clarity of mind as he continues the journey toward awakening fully from this coma. We are looking forward with great hope to that day, and believe it will happen soon. Thank you so much for praying...and please keep it up!!<br />
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<strong>Update Sunday July 24, 2011:</strong> Tug is now breathing on his own (for the past several days) and showing some progress each day. While he is still not completely awake from the coma, he has been from the bed to a chair with help and even was wheeled around the hospital in a wheelchair. He continues to work hard each day. Please keep praying! Tug's family is so grateful for all the prayers and encouragement!<br />
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<b>Update as of July 29, 2011:</b><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Tug is awake!!!! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">He is making progress each day and working very hard! While no longer in a coma, he does have a long road of recovery ahead of him, and will be in rehab as he works to fully recover. Please keep praying! Our God is BIG and faithful!! </span>Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-52011437972809905122011-07-14T05:54:00.000-04:002011-07-14T05:54:55.969-04:00Thirteen Birthdays in Heaven...and Thirteen Years of Impacting this EarthToday our <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2008/07/thomas-birthday.html">Thomas </a>would have been thirteen years old. And, if all of our children were here with us, we would have four teenagers in this tiny house. Four teenagers and one middle school boy. Hopefully we would have added a second bathroom by now!! <br />
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I wonder sometimes about birthdays in heaven. Certainly there must be some significance to the day God chose for us to be born on this earth. Everything He does has multi-faceted meaning after all. And the longer I walk with Him, the more evident it is that nothing in this life is an accident. <br />
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<em>For You formed my inward parts;<br />
You covered me in my mother’s womb.<br />
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;<br />
Marvelous are Your works, <br />
And that my soul knows very well.<br />
My frame was not hidden from You,<br />
When I was made in secret, <br />
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.</em><br />
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<em>Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.<br />
</em><em><strong>And in Your book they all were written, <br />
The days fashioned for me, <br />
When as yet there were none of them.</strong> </em> <br />
<em>How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!<br />
How great is the sum of them!<br />
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;<br />
When I awake, I am still with You. </em><br />
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<em>Psalm 139:13-18</em><br />
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I am awake right now, in the wee hours of the morning, full of thoughts of God's ways....and He is with me. Amazing, isn't it...that the days are fashioned for us, written in His book "when as yet there were none of them". Even before we breathe our first breath...and even if we never take a breath on this earth, He knits us together in our mother's womb. He thinks thoughts of us, before we are even a thought in our parents' minds. He plans the day we will be born, so it must be significant. And, it is significant...even if our time here is brief. Every life has the capacity to greatly impact this world, and He thinks the thoughts that outnumber the grains of sand about every single one of those lives. <br />
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It was no accident the day our Thomas was born, nor any of our other children. Our birthdays were planned, just one among many of the days fashioned for us, written in His book. So, I wonder if they celebrate the day that Thomas arrived on Earth...and the day he began his life in Heaven. And, I wonder if he knows that the nine months he spent growing in my womb and the six hours he spent breathing life on this earth have impacted hundreds and maybe even thousands of others. I am certain he earned the coveted "Well done, my good and faithful servant" the day he was carried home to heaven. For his part of the story I have the privilege of sharing time and time again remains the most of Jesus I have to give. My time with Thomas as he went from my arms to the arms of Jesus is the picture of redeeming, sufficient grace. Joy in place of sorrow...peace instead of fear. Jesus keeping His promise that He will never leave nor forsake us. Only He could give a mother joy as she sang to her baby boy on his way to heaven. <br />
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Yesterday, I had the privilege of sharing our testimony and the story of <a href="http://www.sufficientgrace.net/">SGM </a>with the Rotary Club in Wauseon, Ohio. <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/04/calling-all-ohio-state-buckeye-fans.html">Michael Vollmer's</a> grandpa, Doug, invited me to share with the group. Every time I speak, the focus is a bit different. For instance, at hospitals I focus on the ways that caregivers can offer compassion and opportunities to form a lasting tangible memory of their brief time with their babies. When I'm sharing with women's groups, I can speak to the mother's heart of the matter. When sharing with churches, I delve deeper into the spiritual aspects of our journey...the nitty gritty of Jesus carrying us through that time and finding hope in His word. <strong>But every time I get to the part about Thomas, regardless of the audience, I cannot skip over the moment of grace as I sang to him while Jesus filled the room with peace and joy as He carried my sweet boy home. It is the moment I <em>knew </em>He was real...not just hoped, not just believed without seeing...but <em>knew</em> from the depths of my soul...<em>knew </em>from experience that Jesus is Who He says He is.</strong><br />
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Even if I try, I cannot skip over it. Yesterday was the first time I stood before an audience of businessmen...and a few businesswomen. But, mostly men. This is not an audience I'm familiar with. And, I was uncertain how comfortable they would be listening to our story of babies dying and Jesus carrying us through. Prior to the meeting, I thought perhaps I would just share the details of Sufficient Grace and the services we provide for grieving families. After all, these are business people and will be interested in the business aspect of what we do. I prayed, unsure of exactly what should be shared until the day I stepped inside the room. <br />
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I heard them opening their meeting in prayer as I entered, which set my mind at ease. I looked around the room, still thinking that surely I wasn't supposed to tell them our story. <em>Just stick to the bare minimum information.They are busy people, hosting this meeting on their lunch break with limited time. </em>But, when I stood to speak, it was immediately pressed on my heart to share the story. I'm just the vessel, so I followed His prompting, as I looked into the faces of mostly business men. I expected to see some shifting away uncomfortably or not meeting my eyes. I've stood before many different audiences, and have learned to read when my words are being received or when they are making others uncomfortable. And, I've occasionally watched even seasoned nurses shift in their seats and look at the floor. But, this audience did not look away. In fact, even with their busy schedules, they focused intently on the message, many nodding and engaged, connecting with their expressions. <br />
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When I came to the part about Thomas, I shared as always. There was also a bit of time to tell about SGM, but we needed to wrap up quickly so the club members could return to work. I knew it was not the most polished delivery I had given, but I could sense that it didn't matter. I was just the vessel. The message was well-received and many shook my hand and took pamphlets as they left. I walked to my car, breathing in the beautiful day and shaking my head in awe of God and His ways. In awe of the day He had fashioned for me, and for our children, and for the lovely people who took the time to hear our message of hope. In awe of the honor bestowed on me...that I was chosen to be the mother of all of my children...in awe that I am their mother and His daughter. <br />
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The idea that babies die isn't an easy one to hear, and most people don't want to think about it. Our story isn't an easy story to listen to. Especially in the midst of a busy day. Especially for a group of men of various ages...some fathers and grandfathers. I thought maybe I should skim over the tough parts. But, God knew what was needed. He knows that if I just share about SGM and what we offer, it sounds like a "nice thing to do", but there isn't a depth or connection. People need to hear what we walked through, and how God carried us...they need to know our children and the story God has woven into our lives. They need to see the hope, to connect with our purpose. Knowing <em>why </em>we do what we do matters much more than the actual "what we do". It's the passion that stirs our hearts, and it's the connection that makes others want to join in supporting our efforts. <br />
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Every time I have an opportunity to share, there is an opportunity for that connection with another soul. An opportunity to offer comfort and hope for someone else walking through a trial. <br />
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Because Thomas lived, there is an opportunity to share the most of Jesus I have to give. <br />
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Happy Thirteen Years in Heaven, sweet Thomas. Your time here may have been brief, but the impact of your life on this Earth has been immeasurable. And, every time your name is spoken...every time your story is told, the beauty of Jesus meeting us there in that room with the rocking chair on July 14, 1998 is heard right along with it. It is one of the greatest blessings of my life to be your mother. I love you, sweet boy. And, thank you...Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5354974797218616381.post-88542336834131196672011-07-12T08:21:00.002-04:002011-07-12T09:13:52.055-04:00Birthdays Make us Feel all Reflective...O.k....maybe not everyone. But, certainly me. Birthdays always seem to make me feel all reflective. I am compelled to look back on the previous year...to look back on the path of my life thus far. There are the obvious signs that another year has passed: a few more unruly gray hairs (that are more like white against my almost black hair), a couple of age spots on my face from the sun, one of my boys getting ready to begin his last year of high school and another beginning his first year of middle school. (In two days, it will be Thomas' birthday. He would have been thirteen years old. And, if all my children were here, we would have four teenagers in this tiny house!) There's all of that. <br />
<br />
But, I also like to look at what has been accomplished in the year. Thanks to the <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/06/ripping-off-bandaid.html">Great Flood</a>, my house has been completely made-over. <a href="http://www.sufficientgrace.net/">Sufficient Grace Ministries</a> has grown with each passing year, since its inception in 2004. God has grown and stretched me...this year in particular teaching me about loving others with the <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/06/kind-of-love-that-lays-it-all-down.html">kind of love</a> that lays it all down and <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/02/cling.html">clinging </a>to Him alone. Some new things have been added to SGM...and will be revealed soon. I love that God is always doing a "new thing". Life is never dull when we're following Him. I lost some weight, but still have more to lose. Short of a few more editing tweaks and adding of some resources, I believe my book is almost...finally...complete. Of course, I've believed that before, and God has shown me differently. So, we'll see.<br />
<br />
I began writing the story of God's grace woven through our journey of loss and healing more than six years ago. The first draft was 67 pages. I shared it with several people, who have always loved the story of our children and the beauty and healing of God's comfort. <br />
<br />
I asked my friend Betsy what she thought. And, she said. "I think a lot has to happen before that is a book. There are parts that aren't finished yet."<br />
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I nodded, knowing it wasn't finished. God had already closed the door temporarily, saying "Not yet." I wondered why He would have created me with the desire to share stories, with a love for words and writing...why He would give me a story of hope and grace...the most beautiful story I know...and then say, "not yet". Why would He move my hands furiously over the keys of the computer, pouring out my heart and soul as I literally went back to those moments when we walked the path of the greatest sorrow I had known, once more tasting the bitter cup?<br />
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I didn't know why, but I trusted Him. A lot can happen in six years.<br />
<br />
I began writing the story when my mother still walked this earth, before cancer came and doctors said her passing was imminent. There were a couple parts of the story I had asked her to reiterate. She said, "Ask me anything. I remember every detail." Going back through the story, her presence was woven in, more pieces of the puzzle fitting perfectly where they belonged. <a href="http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/02/another-goodbye.html">Sweet Dinah</a>, who loved me, exhorted me, walked with me, and inspired me along this journey went home to be with the Lord, earlier this year. She was the kind of friend that relished every moment of seeing God's hand work in our lives. And, she is a huge part of our story.<br />
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SGM continued to grow, and as I shared the story with hospitals more pieces of the puzzle fell into place. I was reminded of different parts, and grew in experience walking with other mothers who had shared this path. As Tim continued coming to church with us, his heart softened to the sharing of our story, melted by the ways it touched hurting hearts. In 2006, I stood by my mother's hospital bed, drinking another bitter cup, learning more about suffering than I ever wanted to know as we said good-bye to her before any of us felt ready. I started a blog in 2008, and still more pieces worked their way through the recesses of my memories as I told parts of our story again and again. God fine-tuned the story, adding more each time I told it, revealing more of Himself each time. Every piece telling another story of His grace. He healed parts of me that I didn't know were broken, as the tears poured out along with the words begging to be freed from my depths.<br />
<br />
And, here we are....2011...another birthday. And, I think the story, now 200 pages, is almost ready. Even if it is never published (although, I believe it will be), it has been a gift...one of the great gifts of my life....to see this story unfold. Perhaps much of it was about healing me. Although, it isn't why I started writing. I doubt that's the only gift that will come of it. God is a multiplier of blessings, after all. He doesn't waste anything...and when He allows suffering in our lives, He uses it to touch the lives of many. He has already done that, but I have a sense that He is just getting started. I'm not sure how many of you are still out there. My blog seems to be growing painfully slow. (I try not to look at numbers, but I also know realistically that most publishers don't take risks on little bloggers like me.) If you are out there, I would love your prayers. I know that I've been talking about the book for years, now. So, it may be seem like something that is never going to happen. There is something about this time...this year, though. It seems to be a year of breakthrough and getting things accomplished. Finished. I am hopeful, and excited about what may lie ahead. Our God is so big...anything is possible!!Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11182310611088290551noreply@blogger.com6